Dating with HS

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How can I tell my boyfriend that I have HS, I have it on my labia and buttocks. He has never seen me naked, he once felt down there when I was in remission. I want to tell him so he can understand what it is and not be afraid of the scarring or if theres a lump under my skin or if i'm sore down there and dont want to move.

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  • Posted

    Hi, firstly I'm sorry that you are going through this awful condition. I am 19 years old and I have suffered for almost 9 years with HS and I am too left with bad scarring which has caused me to have very low self-esteem and to dodge relationships .

    If you feel you are ready to tell your boyfriend about the condition then you should, maybe show him some information on HS so he has a better understanding the condition itself. If he is the person you think he is then he won't be bothered, and if he is bothered then he's not worth it anyway!!

    Public knowledge of HS is growing thankfully so that people don't feel as if they are alone in this. The hidradenitis suppurativa trust is a great charity and would advise everyone to check it out!! They help with charity events and support groups.

    Sorry I haven't been able to help you much with your question but know you are not alone!

    I wish you all the best

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    • Posted

      Thank you! I'm 18 and it's nice to know someone else my age understands me. He is a great guy and I know he'd understand. I just wouldn't want him to be too suprised when we feel the time is right to go futher in our relatioship and he feel a lump or something. I also had no idea of the Hidradenitis Suppurativa Trust, i'll definitely look into it!

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  • Posted

    Look if he is ever gonna see u naked then u should just be honest ive had hs for over 4 years and im at stage 2 once u talk to him u will feel better its not our fault we have this h.s.

    If u ever wanna chat im here

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  • Posted

    Hi, first of all I'm really sorry you have this dilemma. As if it's not enough to have to deal with physically having this condition, you then have to cope with stuff like this!

    I didn't get the condition till I was in my early thirties and was married with children, and even then, I felt very awkward and embarrassed with my husband, so I know it must feel so much worse for you.

    ?A lot will depend on the relationship you have with your boyfriend, and how serious you are about it. You say he once felt down there, but are you having a full sexual relationship yet?

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