Daughter 11 and possibly ASD
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Hi all
My daughter is 11. She has selective mutism since basically she’s been able to speak. However after a lot of intervention she has now in the last year started to talk and for the first time to teachers. What is concerning me now though is that there are clearer signs she may indeed be on the spectrum, I have suspected for a while but SM displays very similar traits. She has very low empathy , she doesn’t get a lot of what she watches on tv especially humour, social skills are difficult even with her friends , team games she cannot deal with and the most recent thing is she has started hand flapping - she may have been doing this a while for it’s been most recent that I have noticed it. It seems to be when excited but I have also noticed when she writes she seems to be twitching her other hand repeatively.
Just thought this was strange to come up now at her age ? I am going to get her referred for a new assessment as one hasn’t been done since she was 3 .... just wondered if anyone else has been diagnosed at a later age in the same way ?
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Autismmom222 Dollar1980
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Good luck!
Dollar1980 Autismmom222
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Mutism and she always displayed some odd behaviours but nothing that couldn’t have been described as part of the SM ?
At home she isn’t affectionate at all. She has learned to be more affectionate the last few years but I think it’s learned ? I wouldn’t call her present now ... she is very distant sometimes.
I have just watched her hand flapping again this time due to stressing out over something.
Dollar1980
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Dollar1980
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Autismmom222 Dollar1980
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knd39079 Dollar1980
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It's easy for autistic girls to be overlooked. Try to get a second or third opinion if you aren't sure about the diagnosis. I don't think autistics really have low empathy, though; they can sympathize with other people, but they have trouble communicating that to other people, at least that was my experience. I was diagnosed with ASD as an adult.
Social skills don't come naturally, and if she's having trouble getting along with her peers just coming up with a way to not get her peers reject her might be a big help. I remember I had very low confidence in my non-academic abilities as a student, and I hated trying to get along with the other kids because they always acted "stupid"--did things I didn't understand. I was often a target of bullying, and it's possible my grades were lower due to needing to stay off of other students' radars.
Dollar1980 knd39079
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Maybe it’s not low empathy , perhaps she just doesn’t know her to express it so it appears that way ? She has always struggled to show / understand her emotions.... but then in some instances she tends to get overly upset.
I have booked an appointment with the gp to have her referred for assessment.
Dollar1980
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knd39079 Dollar1980
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Well, you may want to get her checked; it's best to identify this early, though.
Back to the empathy thing, though. I have a tendency to not mirror other people's expressions, and I still sometimes don't like to look at people's faces when I talk to them. I think that's where people get the idea that autistics aren't empathetic. Mirroring others, though, is a learned skill, at least for people with this developmental disorder. If you see your daughter doing something that's off-putting or inappropriate, try having a discussion with her about it. You may get through to her. A lot of us are clueless about how our behavior looks to other people. Sometimes, though, I think that's for the better. To me, so-called normal people are extremely prejudice and judgmental, and that's something we were taught as children is a negative trait. Why would we want to be like that?
knd39079 Dollar1980
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I actually sometimes experience periods of time where I'm "awake" to how others feel, but it's not a natural state for me, and I consider it unpleasant, really. I don't like sharing the feelings of others. It clouds good judgement and is a distraction, mostly. For me, it's enough to be able to sympathize, usually.
Autismmom222 knd39079
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My daughee does the same exact thing with emotions. She is either overly emotional, kinda in an experiemental sort of way, or she shuts down. It is so hard to put into words. I wish you the best of luck. Both of you.
Dollar1980 Autismmom222
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Really appreciate your help
Shall let you know how the referral goes
Autismmom222 Dollar1980
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Dollar1980
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