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I am on day 6 of 'flu' and struggling. I went to see a GP in early December as I finally realised that something wasn't quite right, I was up and down with moods, tearful, argumentative, totally paranoid about 2 friends in particular, so much so that I have totally alienated one of them and there is no way back for our friendship. I am the sort of person who will not talk about their feelings and tend to get totally withdrawn, so him calling me a moody cow really didn't help.
Anyway, I saw this GP and explained everything to him, and his decision was to send me for blood tests and give me a questionaire about my feelings to fill in, blood tests were done and I then had to wait until last week for the results.
During the 'wait' I decided to finish work early for Christmas as I really did not want to join in the festivities and couldn't think of excuses, normally I am the life and soul of the party. The day I finished work we had a phone call to say that a very close family member had passed away suddenly - totally knocked me for six and I spent the next two weeks doing nothing, things just passed in a blur and all plans and good intentions went out the window.
Finally saw my own GP last Monday who told me all the blood results were normal, then took one look at the answers to my questionarie and actually listened to what I was saying and prescribed 'flu'.
I started taking 20mg a day on Tuesday morning, the side effects haven't been too bad yet, had nothing until Thursday, when I felt really nauseous for a couple of hours, and now get a headache about 15 mins after taking my flu, this usually lasts for most of the day. My sleeping is totally erratic, because I want to be on my own, I go to bed really early which means I wake at stupid o'lock, but I am totally exhausted and feel like I am just going through the motions. Yesterday I was actually sick. Today, I cannot shake off the feeling of impending doom and have been pacing up and down, and can't settle to anything.
I declined a sick note as I don't think sitting at home all day will help and have only told 4 people in work about my depression, they have been understanding, but because I can't explain what has caused it - I have no idea, I get the feeling they don't believe me, maybe that is just me. I also attend university on a part time basis and ot is work related so I know that if I don't go to work I will get kicked off the course, I have done no work towards my course for this particular section and have to see my tutor this week - she has no idea, but I know I won't get any sympathy or time extension.
I could go on for ages but don't want to bore anyone, I just needed to start to talk about things to people who understand. Thanks for listening.
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