Day 6 on Cit

Posted , 3 users are following.

First off thank you all for your posts and feedback I have read concerning others. Honestly over the last 6 weeks or so I've really gotten into the antidepresants , how they work and how they don't work , the good ,the bad and the ugly of them all , from these Forums to countless You-Tube videos and documentaries ......Wow ! What was I thinking I keep asking myself ? The side effects started on me since day one ! I went to shrink over a month ago and he prescribed this 20mg a day Cit for me and told me to come back in two weeks (it was for panic attacks / depression) I had already started reading up on it and I must admit I was rather shaken by side effects and withdraw symtoms I read about .....I didn't take them and told him when I went back to see him two weeks later .....I told him what I just wrote here and he said everybody was different when it came to side effects and ask me if I wanted to feel better ? I said yes , he re-wrote the scrip for Cit and told me to come back in a month ......I'm just not liking this stuff at all and the side effects are no fun ....(Lord knows I'm not alone from this Forum) I just don't know what to think and the way I feel ......things had been getting better for me since I lost 40 pounds over the last 4 months or so and started eating better and less , my every now and then panic attacks I was handling them better and they were less ......Honestly , I thought the Doc would just give me something as needed and that unfortunately didn't happen .......I'm 56 years old and Lord knows my wife and I have are somewhat over flowing with problems at the moment but feeling as I do now after 6 days on the Cit .......It's not helping me other then making me feel worse then ever before ...I'm not a pill taker to say that I am , I don't drink or use drugs of any kind and I've always been somewhat sensative to drugs , even over the counter ....like opiates for pain over the years , always so glad to get off those as soon as I could because I didn't like the way they made me feel......(although they did help with pain) I have basically been force feeding myself since day 1 of taking this Cit .....I look at food and it makes me sickish .......my head is here nor there........I somewhat had a scare on day 2 of Cit and it was really strange ....I felt my heart start as it usually does at panic stage but I had that shocking feeling go down both my arms and to my hands ....that was surely a new one on me ! Wow ! but I handled it OK .....I don't know ? feels like a roller coaster ride from hell ! ....I ask myself now ....would I rather just deal with my panic attacks as is and not this roller coaster ride I've been on ? I'd have to say yes ....my thing is this , can I stop this Cit now without to much withdraw on 6 days ? .....I know I know I know ! .....hang in there and all that , I get that , I really do ......I just would rather have my somewhat normal brain back and I mean no offence to anyone .....I figure it's 50/50 for me as is .......the only thing I do know now is that I'm sorry I messed with my own head only to make matters that much more uncomfortable for myself .....I've read a lot here on this Forum and everybody seems very kind , nice and understanding ......I just feel the need to stop and I'm hoping after a week my withdraw won't be so bad ? Thank you all for your time.     

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  • Posted

    James, I can totally empathise with you on this. I was diagnosed with depression,panic disorders anxiety, etc etc a month ago.

    Started on sertaline by my own doctor but at follow on appointment when my own doc wasn't there I was given cit due to the side effects I'd been getting off the sertaline.

    I'm only on 10mg cit however, I have already found in this last 2 weeks that my symptoms are returning in full force I.e paranoia, agression, bad moods and utter anxiousness and being able to feel things.

    With the sertaline I was getting bad panic yet with the cit when i do get anxious etcI scratch real strongly with my nails and my arms and hands are covered in scabs and scars.

    Also with eating my habits are awful now, I am a regular gym goer and have competed in bodybuilding shows yet now when I eat properly I feel sick for rest of day.

    My doctor has now given me diazepan aswell to counter act the anxiousness in effort to calm me down and touch wood it is starting to take effect.

    Sorry about the ramble but like you had I known that these side effects were part of a healing process I possibly would've chosen differently.

    Hope there is light at the end of the tunnel for you and bexsyrong

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  • Posted

    Sadly for most there is no quick fix adjustment period sad it may be a few weeks yet before you start to see an improvement and you will feel worse before you get better. Stick with it, there will be light at the end of the tunnel.
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  • Posted

    Thanks Bigden & Mistedmind ......sounds like we just keep playing with our minds going through what we go through to find a end game ? some go up and some go down trying to find that right balance within ,a better way to deal with our lives ....I haven't taken the Cit today as i had planned .......although going through the motions as I write ......will see how it goes throughout the day .....thanks
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  • Posted

    Well it's been 3 months or so now ....I did stop the Cit after 6 days and I didn't have any side effects and I about cryed the following day eating a hamburger and being hungry for the first time in a week !  , saw the doctor two weeks later and told him I had stopped and why .....he then proceeded to tell me to go down to 10 mil cit and I told him I'd rather just deal with my problems as they were that I honestly didn't think the Cit was going to help me in the long run ....my problems  were my problems in life and I knew I had to accept them for how they are and that I was basically responsiable for myself and that taking a pill was not going to get me through them ....I needed to man up and accept that my personal problems were of my own doing .....yes I do have depression, (unfortunately life can be that way at times) panic disorders anxiety......yes I have those .......what causes them for me is usually fear of some kind or they just come over me ....but yes I have those from time to time ......one got me in the E.R. before seeing the doctor in the first place .......kept me over night and had given me Atavan ....after checking my heart and it was good they could only come up with anxiety .....I could agree.....anyway back to the doctor .......I told him that I had only really been looking for something i could take as needed and he wrote me a script for Advan ......after he looks at me and tells me he believes me and that I wouldn't abuse the drug ...it was a script for 30 for the month .......in 30 days time I took 6 of them and he wrote me another script for them and told me to come back in 2 months ..in 40 days since, I've taken 7 more in that time frame with just under 2 weeks before I see him again .....so far I've been doing fairly well ......do those pills help ? .....Yes they do when needed. I honestly do not know in the time frame at 70 days so far and only having to take 12 of the pills is a good thing or a bad thing but like i said .......they do calm me down when needed . I've lost 60 pounds now in a course of 5 months time , eating better but i know a lot of it had to do with stress from 255 to 195 ...I'm feeling better and I've been able to handle the stress of our problems somewhat better then before .....I don't think I'm out of the woods by far but at least I'm accepting those problems as they are and doing the best that we can to get past them ...yes I thought some brain drugs would help me cope but after taking them for a week and how they made me feel and to only hear to keep taking them and it could have gotten worse before I got better and then the taking them or having to take more and more to cope with my life it just didn't make sense for me .or the aftermath of getting off them .....for myself I was thinking .....what in God's name was I thinking in the first place ? .......I was looking for a magic pill to cope with my somewhat upside down life ......I dont' drink or use drugs in the first place ! I was looking for a magic pill that was going to make my life better and or a pill that was going to help me accept that it's the mess that it is and everything was going to be OK ? ....depression can come and go in everybodies life to some degree and it passes ......for some I guess that it doesn't ....I feel fortunate there ......the anxicity for me is something I can't really pin point on ...I said fear , maybe anger , something I ate ,something that might have set me off ???? I just don't have the answers to that one for myself but I'm very grateful that the doctor trusted me with these so called benzo's ......You folks on this Forum are great ! I can not thank you all enough for being here for me ...your not alone and I truly feel your pain in some way or the other .........I'm grateful and thankful to you all and may the good Lord give you all what you need one way or the other...I just don't have all the answers to why .....I just know that  when my breathing gets heavy and my heart feels like it's coming out of my chest ....something is wrong   

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