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Assalamu alaikum (peace be upon you)
My name is Akash and I'm self studied student.
I've a mental problem since my childhood. That is, i talk to myself and i always imagine a certain thing with some fixed people or sometimes unknown and mostly in a same place.in imagine i always make conversation with them and try to be good and qualified over them, specially to one person whom i always carry in my imagination.this is a girl whom i proposed at class 9 and I didn't ask her response. And during final exam of class 9 i get cought up for fraud on exam and i expelled and still i got to chance to Study in class 10 but my role number goes 4 to 33 number.then my family send me to city/boarding school for better study and after that this imagination started. I started feel like that I'm down than them.and this continue since 2012 to 2020 year.
Later on it is like I'm addicted on this imagination,all the time,day to night, outside or inside ,every single moment i imagine this,i talk to them in any topics.for this I can't concentrate to other things,not even on entertainment. If anybody talk to me, i just listen few words and in my mind i imagine this. during salah, i can't concentrate on surah reciting. Sometimes i miss rakat or forget witch rakat i am in every single moment i imagine this.if i go on bed at 10pm, it takes 2-3h to get sleep and this time i imagine even i don't want.at morning i feel very very tired that i feel i need more sleep even i slept around 9h.sometimes i feel so sleepy that anyhow i need to sleep,and then i go bed and try to sleep and this imagination comes and after few minutes sleep go away and i feel like i just wake up but after few moment later i get sleepy again.sometimes it happens that i don't sleep for 2 or 3 days at a straight.i noticed i started giving expression in reality upon this imagination And in 2019 i started feel boring for this..and this year little headache started added to my problem.then i started taking panadol active fast(paracetamol for headache,pain etc) whenever it attracts me more than i control.. 2 or 3 tablet in a week or 2 tablet in a day for headache with coca cola.. because this medicine gives me little good feel.
Day by day it was increasing and i use to get more bored. I can't focus on anything for a single moment and even i couldn't study. I'm just 10 grade passed.later on i tried but couldn't continue.
At 2020, i went to a psychiatrist doctor and i told him about my imagination problem but i couldn't explain all the things because of first time and i couldn't remember all the things together. Doctor prescribed me some medicine,
setra 50mg ar morning,
quiet 50mg at night,
propanol 10mg at morning and night
I took this medicine for first 1 month
And after this corona lockdown happened and i couldn't meet with this doctor or any other anymore.
This medicine worked and problem was solved but i was not happy with this medicine.it was like pain killer medicine to me.i lost emotion, expression, always sleepy or not having energy. I was like I'm not active or strong enough. I think that this is not right medicine for this problem.But my problem was gone.for that i took this medicine more 2 month and when i quite, the day after i got my same problem back.same like before. Before i used to with this problem then 3 month there was no problem and now suddenly i got this problem back and i can't accept this anymore.anyhow i can't accept it, it's like toxic to me and anyhow i wanna get rid of this problem.because i become crazy. And im not getting and doctor. I started researching this problem on google and after lots of research, i get to know about "Day Dreaming and ADHD" All the symptoms of this problem is matched with me.
Then i search cure for this problem, i got some medicine name Adderall and ritalin. But this is not available in Bangladesh. So i started taking alternative medicine of this,name "Attentine 10mg"
And most surprising think is that suddenly i started feel good and started getting good sleep and not getting tired on morning! But few days later it started decreasing then i started increasing this dose 10mg to 20mg. Feeling better but not like first day.
So I'm here to share this problem to get more help about this problem. I'm not sure that I'm taking correct medicine or not, only for temporary I'm taking it until i meed any doctor.
I need a help, please anyone who can, please help me to cure from this. I wanna lead e good life and i wanna make my future good. I can't do anything for this.i would be very very thankful.
An advanced thousands thanks from the core of my heart.
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