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I've just spent an evening reading up on DE (or RE as it's sometimes referred as).

For those not aware, DE is short for delayed ejaculation. It's fairly rare in males by all accounts but has since a recent rise (excuse that awful pun), mainly attributed to the ever increasing access to online pornography. This isn't necessarily what I'd state as the sole contributing factor however.

From this, I have concluded that I am indeed a sufferer of secondary DE. This, for me, is quite a big step in terms of acknowledging that there's an issue and now I plan to take steps to help resolve it.

The question is, what's the next best logical step. A serial health counsellor seems the best bet but this could prove expensive, as does literature that proves it can solve all your issues in a matter of months.

I'm willing to go down the road now I've reached it, but just wanted people's advice as to where I should seek to find help!

Thanks reading.

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  • Posted

    Retarded ejaculation can be quite common with many anti depressants.

    There could also be many other physical reasons for your issue. So I'd suggest visiting a Dr to get a diagnosis. Many Dr's can point you in right direction of self help groups.

    I hope things work out well for you

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  • Posted

    Hi DickDastardly. 

    Delayed ejaculation, or sometimes 'ejaculatory incompetance' is not at all rare unfortunately. I would be helping people online with this condition almost on a weekly bases. Here are some of the commoner causes:

    1. A history of prone or face-down masturbation as an exclusive way of masturbating -- I am not convinced about this.

    2. Using any prescribed or recreational drug or medicine but most particularly the antidepressants, sedatives, codine, cough medicine, finasteride, canabis, cock, LSD

    3. A history of EVER having used any of these things.

    Sometimes when helping people with delayed ejaculation I can find no cause at all and it may be 'situational'. That is to say a man may be able to ejaculate when alone pleasuring himself but have great difficulty when with someone else.

    This is too big a subject for me to cover here but it is a very important one and thank you for bringing it to our attention. Well done and good luck with your quest for a solution.

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  • Posted

    I think that the next step for you is to examine your health and to make the blood test, check your sperm and other health conditions to know what to do for sure.
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  • Posted

    Thanks all for your responses, advice and support.

    The issue relates back to the loss of my mum when I was 17. I was angry and frustrated and felt masterbation to be a way of easing these frustrations.

    The trouble is the anger has never really relented and thus I conclude the condition I now have is secondary (I.e. Idiosyncratic - Self inflicted).

    I am having bereavement counselling at present and may then extend to anger management and possibly sexual therapy of some description but that must come last.

    In the meantime, I'm preparing to abstain from any sexual activity for at least a month. I plan to discuss my condition with my current partner in hope that she can understand and offer support in the interim.

    Heres hoping...wish me luck!

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  • Posted

    I wish you all the best and i am sure that your partner will understand and support you.
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