Dealing with anxiety over loving someone new

Posted , 4 users are following.

So, to be able to explain my current situation I have to give some back story. About a year, year and a half ago, I was in a serious relationship with a man for about 2.5 years before he committed suicide. I also discovered after the accident he had been cheating on me for months prior with another woman. It threw my life into a tail spin and I kind of shut down all of my emotions soon after.

Now, I have found someone new. We have been talking to each other for a couple of months. This man is completely different than anyone I have ever known. We talked/talk constantly through text about every detail of our lives, and we started actually seeing each other in person a few weeks ago. I felt/feel completely comfortable with this person, and he complements me in every way. We also recently told each other we loved one another. I was the one to initiate this, and I was completely confident in my feelings for him. However, the past few days I have been getting a lot of anxiety. I will be thinking and suddenly I start to question my feelings for him. I will ask myself, "Do you love this man? do you even like him?" and I think further and I can't bring myself to feel anything in that moment. I try to recall friends, family, him, pets, and I feel nothing towards any of them.Last night, when I was with him I had a panic attack because of how upset I was getting. I looked at him and couldn't feel anything for awhile. Him and I discussed it at length and he told me he understood as much as could not being in my shoes. I just feel awful telling him these things when I'm not even sure what's happening to me. He was also completely helpful and worked with me to get past that moment and when he left last night, I felt just in love as when I first realized it. Now again this morning, I woke up with anxiety. I am also struggling with recalling faces, voices, and past conversations. . I can remember bits and pieces, but can't seem to grasp anything fully. It is becoming very concerning and I am a little afraid. I'm not sure if this is all because of my past with my ex, and if it is, how do I work towards moving past that? 

I was wondering if anyone has experienced anything quite like this? Any thoughts or responses would be helpful. 

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Hey there,

    Often, our past experiences can hold us back.

    Do you have a therapist or a counsellor or someone who is trained to help?

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    • Posted

      I did at one point have a therapist closer to the actual accident, but I did stop going. I have no time or money currently to find a new one unfortunately. Figured i'd at least get my words out here to try and relieve some of the stress. 
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  • Posted

    With anxiety and its the same with depression you always look at the negatives even when your happy you are waiting for bad things to happen.

    If you are stressed at all, all the negatives feelings will come out.

    Only you know if you love you man or not but I think its the anxiety thats making you feel this way.

    My concentration and things like trying to remember names etc is also shot away.

    Maybe try some therapy it might help

    Stay Strongcool

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  • Posted

    Hi there sorry you are feeling bad just now. By the way you are talking it does sound like you love this man but only you will know. Anxiety etc.. does cause us to question everything, which if nothing else is so annoying. Also to bring back memories of bad things that have happened. I would say talk to your Dr and if you can't access free therapy try to even get a few sessions if possible it can help with changing our negative mindset. Also maybe meditation and different breathing techniques. Good luck with everything, I hope it all works out well. Take care.cheesygrin
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