Dealing with copd is depressing

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I am kellys husband and watching my 47 year old wife's quality of life go down the tubes is very depressing..in the past five years her quality of life is sh*t.. We used to go and do lots of things now we barely do anything.why??? Cause she's always sick,she's now on 6 liters of oxygen continuous 5 years ago it was as needed then went to two liters now we are at 6 and guess what she still has a hard time keeping her oxygen levels up she has good days and bad days but more bad than good her doctor has told us that there's nothing more he can do medically for her so now when she's in the hospital not much they can do but bandade her keep her some times up to a month at a time and send her home not really any better she also has CHF due to her copd...she's on so many meds its unreal not to mention she's in afib right now she's always sleeping grumpy when she's awake she's just miserable and how can she not be I feel my wife is dying a slow torturous life we have a four year old daughter who is always worried about mommy if I take her out it doesn't last long because she's always worried about her sick mommy I no longer work to stay home with my wife to take care of her as best as I can and its depressing to watch all this unfold and not knowing if I have 5 minutes or 5 years with this wonderful woman I married things just keep getting worse and this just sucks very soon we will be going to get her heart shocked to try to take her out of afib but as the husband of this very sick woman is it really going to make a difference at this point oh and I forgot to mention she has a clot in her lung (pe) she has survived 8 already this one makes 9 I'm angry depressed and just plain sad this is just so not fare and all I can do is watch it all happen and love my wife every day and try to be as understanding as I can with the mood swings and all the extra stuff that comes along with this disease

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  • Posted

    So sad to hear what you and your dear wife a going thru, my heart goes out to you both. This disease is a terrible, and it's frightening to know what our future may be like. Thank you so much for sharing, your wife is a lucky lady to have you love and care for her. Try to stay strong and remember to look after yourself also xxx God bless you both 
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  • Posted

    Oh dear Kelly's husband I have tears in my eyes reading your sad story and my heart is full hearing what you are both going through.

    You are right it isn't fair - not fair at all and no wonder you are angry.  You sound like a wonderful husband and are doing everything you can by being there for her.  This must be a great ccomfort for her so carry on.   Have they exhaused all the options for her such as valves,  lung transplant etc?   She is very young to be suffering so and I send my heartfelt sympathy and love. 

    Stay with us here as this is a great site and we will help and support you both as much as we can.  Lots of hugs cuddly hugs to both of you.   Bev x

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  • Posted

    Wow! I'm so glad that you wrote all that down bc just doing that helps let it out just a bit. In reality sweetie, the last few sentences, beginning with "..all I can do is watch it all happen........." are the truth of the matter. That IS all you can do...keep loving her, try to be understanding bc it's even worse for her as it is for you. One big thing you can do that you didn't mention is pray...I don't know if you are a spiritual man but God can heal her. I know you are angry and it doesn't seem fair....but if you lose hope and faith, then you have nothing left. Who knows why God allows some to pass earlier than others...but its part of His plan which is greater than we can ever comprehend. You and your wife are in my prayers. Talk to us all day every day if you like...we understand and we are here for you. .....ladyjack51
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  • Posted

    Thank you so much this is kind of new for me but I really did feel so much better after I said what I did and yes hypercat all has been exhausted her doctor who is one of the best in our state of Connecticut told us there is nothing more medically they can do for her...the reason why I felt the need to kind of tell my story is one I think I just wanted to vent a little and I see so many questions and worries with so many people here with this disease but as the the husband or loved on of a person with this disease we also suffer not like the ones with this disease but we do suffer and I do try to pray as much as I can although I do say sometimes if I ever saw god I'd kick his butt but in reality I'd cry and beg him to cure this disease along with all these other crazy diseases the pain and suffering for all involved is just so sad and frustrating and we can do is hope for the best thanks everyone you all are awesome
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    • Posted

      You are very welcome KH.   I hope and pray that one day lung disease can be cured or prevented completely so no one ever has to go through what your  wife and all us copders do,  and lovely carers like you have to suffer.   One day hey?   Take care.   Bev x
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  • Posted

    It makes me so sad to see how much you and your family are suffering.  I know it may be disheartening having to sit back and watch your wife suffer this way.  It's good to get things off your chest.  

    While you are doting on your wife making sure she's at her best everyday (even though it may seem like her best is still worse), have you taken any measures to take care of YOURSELF and your wellbeing?  It's a beautiful thing to take care of the woman you love, but that beautiful woman needs you to be strong as well. While she's resting, take  care of yourself, even if it means the simplest: having a coffee in the morning or whenever during the day. Take a short walk outside to clear your head, take in the beautiful weather (hopefully it is nice weather where you live). 

    Is your wife seeing a pulmonologist and a cardiologist? Just wondering because if it's just a regular PCP, I really think she should be seen by one or both of those.

    I wish you well Kelly's husband. Take care of yourself and your beautiful wife.

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  • Posted

    Aloha Kelly's husband, this must be aweful for you & your daughter to be going thru..Is Cannibas Oil legal in your state...Maybe you could do some research or have a family member research for u.  Also, maybe consult Kelly's Dr about it.. Prayers for Kelly to get better & to your family.. Always keep in mind that a tiny mustard seed planted can grow into miracles..prayers, beckie
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