Dear doctor

Posted , 13 users are following.

Hello ladies, I am seeing a new doctor soon.  I wrote this ...maybe I should sent it! 

Dear Doctor:

Please understand the immense effort it was for me to get here

I am tired, dizzy and my mind is not clear

Please do not suggest more scans, tests and X-rays

As I’ve had a thousand in previous days

Please do not shrug your shoulders and say “ I don’t know”

Or suggest I increase my Lexapro!

Please understand this is not how I used to be

Nausea, fatigue, aches, pains and riddled with anxiety

Please understand this is not how I want to be

A normal person shouldn’t be tired at a quarter past 3!

Please understand I do not deserve to feel this way

I hope you are worth the co pay!

7 likes, 35 replies

Report / Delete

35 Replies

Next
  • Posted

    Hi Lou

    I think it covers everything! When you see it on paper, isn't it amazing that we are able to function in jobs, home, with kids etc. You should be super proud of yourself. What jumped out to me was 'this is not how I used to be'. I also feel sometimes you have to point that out.... It's like noone knows the person I was, only me! Chin up Lou, you're a fighter xx

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Good for you..that speaks for so many of us! Keep us posted as to how you’re doing and what helps. 😊

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Lou!!!! Omg!!!! That is fantastic!!!😊😊💕💕🙏🙏🙏.      

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Great post Lou ! Yes you have to tell the drs want you WANT ! It seems we have to do our own research first. They only give us what ? 10 mins to explain everything then they’re on to the next patient .

    And yes! I too have the exhaustion at 3pm sit there just waiting to go to bed at 7.30pm it’s no life ! 

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      I know and they are staring at their computer screen or leaving the room for 8 minutes of it 🙄.  I know you struggle with this awful fatigue too.  My periods are hardly anything nowadays...but my symptoms are horrible.  I cannot imagine the poor women who bleed heavily on top of all these symptoms.  I scaled back on my AD yesterday...really strange head feeling yesterday and zombie like fatigue.  I’m not liking this! 

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Yes make sure if you’re going off it to taper it’s very important so you don’t crash and be prepared for different feelings . 

      Why are you going off it now  ? I wish I could take them as my mood is so low but they don’t agree with me . 

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      I cut the pill in half the last 2 mornings to 5 mg.  I was on 10 mg for 21 days.  Just had my period Mon and Tues.  Wed, I crashed.  Awful fatigue, dizziness, faint.  Felt really weird, brain damaged, anxious, depressed.  Also, I have to be up at 5 am and drive my son to school.  Thank god not the whole way...I meet up with a friend.  Then, get my little one out the door afterwards.  I am not hungry that early and try to drink.  So nauseous!  I do not do well in the mornings anymore.  I’m just aggravated!  
      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      I was like that before the AD...I felt dead for 2 months.  Literally exhausted, laying around but not sleepy.  I had no appetite, lost 15 lbs.  I was depressed, just didn’t know it, because I never felt tbat way before!  So, it has helped me a bit.  Just so confusing!  I get irritated because I’m on it, and I wish I felt better. Which is more evidence that it is clearly a hormone issue!  Seems around my cycle, I tank.  But, before the AD, I would just stay in that funk.  I just want to be normal, get back to work.  Converse with friends , lunch, etc.  I can only plan day to day.  I hate it. 😐

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Well they say the Ad is just a band aid and that you must ‘go through it’ sometime but at this point if it’s making you feel better then go for it ! Wish I could take them as I’m at the lowest of the low .... but side effects too strong for me and there is something to be said for feeling the pain and getting through it naturally.  the body and mind is a powerful machine and I’m sure ‘it’ wants us to feel normal again too. Can’t wait to just feel content again 
      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi lou....it would be no harm to take to with you and just list the things of when i go to the doctor. I tend to forget when im there so why not do that....a good doctor will listen and if they dont...they dont deserve to be one.....hope it goes well...lots of love xxxx
    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Ah lou....you can always pray....without it ud be lost and ill pray that your doctor will listen and be sympathethic. You deserve it....God bless and let us know how it goes...keep looking up..😊 x

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Lou - this is beautiful. I hope you had some therapeutic relief when writing this. I keep looking at these words:

    Please understand this is not how I used to be

    For some of us - it was literally like we woke up and BAM. That's what it was for me -an extreme hormonal crash. 

    I'm thankful for this forum. I'm encouraged by you and your tenacity; it gives me hope! Take care!

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Ba-Bam!

    Love it! Need to make copies and send to every one of the doctors I went to. 

    To the concierge doctor who smiled and declared I was perfectly healthy. To the cardiologist who said I needed to practice mindfulness (see you when you hit 50 chick), to the endocrinologist who said there was no way I was in perimeno (even though I was in my 50s and skipping periods), the psychologist who talked non stop and tried to tell me how to breathe, and on and on..

    I was going to educate them all once I got well enough. 

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      🤣 No kidding!  I had a 30 something intern and his 20 something nurse laugh at me in the ER once.   I waited 6 mo to see an endocrinologist only to be told “ I don’t deal with woman’s hormones”.  Healthcare right down the toilet.  My primary dr told me to seek counseling too.  Nothing against it, but just don’t feel like explaining all my crap to somebody else!  I save it for this forum!  Stay well! 🤗

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      I’m sick of drs ! Ended up at the emergency and when I told a very young female dr that ‘there’s something wrong I’m dizzy faint feel terrible cant stay awake ‘ she replied ‘you’re awake now ‘ with a smirk . B***h !

      We are treated so poorly during this time we should be given extra special treatment not dismissed . It’s been HORRIBLE ! 

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      So true Lori!  I went to the ER also with fatigue, dizzy, heart palps, weak and I had lost my appetite. I got questioned about having an eating disorder and anorexia!  Then told me to eat more and get sleep 🙄Years ago, I used to just go once a year and regular check ups when I was pregnant.  It is such a mess!  I told my husband no more trips to the hospital unless I’m unconscious on the floor.  I worry now when we get really old how it is going to be. ??

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Well let’s just worry about today and getting through this ! My mom is 82 and doing way better than me right now !

      If we do everything right to the best of our ability ... eat healthy workout we should have many more good times in our future!

      I’ll NEVER forget this time in my life ... EVER!

      Hopefully when We’re better We’ll create new happy memories that will take the place of this horrendous lonely  incredibly scary time ! 

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      My mom is 78 and runs around doing errands etc.  She came to see me a couple months ago and her jaw dropped.  Tired, sickly looking, crying mess...down to 100 lbs.  I think she thought I was hiding some awful disease from her.  I’ve put back on some weight since then, thank god. 
      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hi Lori!!! Same here sister!!! I've read so many of your post and I can relate 1000 percent!!!!   My moms 80 and she has more energy and feels better than me!!!!   I had a couple of good weeks and then BAM!!  Dizzy, motion sickness... off Balance... feels like I have the flu and stomach virus at the same time!!   I've swear I had fever but no!!! Ugh ugh ugh !!!   🙏🙏💕💕

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      I know ! I lost 25lbs and there is my 82 year old mom worried about me ? I don’t want to give her any worries but we are still children to them . 
      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      My mouth flew open when I read the smart *** remark the young dr. made!!! I would've had to get up and leave...before I responded to her in an even more inappropriate manner than she did to you. What nerve!!!

      I'm so sorry you went through that when you were there for help....

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Yes snarky drs ... could have punched her. No sympathy no knowledge didn’t even equate my age with maybe menopause symptoms . I mean come on haven’t these drs learned yet that most women turning up over 50 just MAY be going through that ? 
      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Apparently it never enters their minds...some of them. Makes me wonder how much time - if any, is spent on menopause during medical school. I think the ones who know and care must be educating themselves by taking extra classes n conferences.

      As a teacher, I have to go through a certain amount of hours of professional development each year in order to stay current or else my license gets suspended. But I WANT to be current!!

      You would think that doctors would have to do at least the same.

      Guess we'll have to keep each other informed by sharing information here on this forum...so grateful for you ladies!!

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      in my opinion the behavior of doctors is illogical and weird...

      So many women are suffering and the medical community seems unable to give us relief and the most important they deny the existence and the intensity of perimenopause at least in front of us..maybe in their effort to reassure the patients, they react with indifference and skepticalness

      I think they have the knowledge about the symptoms but they cannot reverse our nature..I do not know what to say anymore...

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      I find most of them very cocky...especially the interns...at teaching hospitals. I had 1 giving me a lumbar puncture once in the ER.  She kept poking and jabbing, hitting bone. Very painful, and I have a bad lower back to begin with. I told her she was hurting me...and she said oh it is supposed to hurt a little...Even the nurse looked appalled.  I freaked out and demanded the other dr come in...he did it, no problem.  Same when they are taking blood, so sick of being a pin cushion.  I’ve since learned my lesson...no experimenting on me anymore! 
      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      I am sorry for your bad experiences! I have many, too 

      I live in Greece...generally speaking the situation in ER is tragic...depends on the person but the majority of doctors have unacceptable behavior towards  us...I believe that they often become  irritated because ER are for serious immediate cases.

      To be honest ,perimenopause anxiety makes us behaving and talking  like crazy women ...we loose our temper and others cannot understand that...

      we feel that we are dying, they do the tests, everything seems normal and they think we are abnormal personalities spending their valuable  time on ER

      some times at the ER they gave me 1/2 Xanax to calm and after some hour the doctors were very kind at me because I was sober

      It is difficult to understand how we feel….but we need help!

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Yes they look at us like we are pathetic ... and I’ve had other people not drs day ‘come on youre strong get over this ‘ I’ts like .... do you think I actually want this ? Not doing or going through this for attention ! If id never have to go to a dr again I’d be a happy camper ! My sister loves drs hospitals a true hypochondriac I’m the opposite ... they make you feel like you’re worthless and are so tough on us ! 
      Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up