Decompression surgery in January 2018

I just wrote something really long out and my phone disconnected from WiFi and now I have to start over!

Ok so I had decompression surgery on 1st january 2018. 

I am still getting severe head pain, mostly from laughing and coughing. And more than often from doing nothing more than simply waking up in the morning, which is bizarre to me. 

The most alarming thing I have noticed recently is that I am EXHAUSTED. I just started a new job (after 4 months off from recovering) and I do 8 hour days. I literally come home and collapse into bed. I am mentally drained and my eyes pretty much shut as soon as my head hits the pillow. My body has zero energy and my mind just wants to shut down. 

The second thing I have noticed is memory loss. This one is a little more alarming for me as I’m only 29 and I have an important job. It’s happened a few times now and I’ve only really noticed it when it was something quite scary... I was walking to work and suddenly stopped. My mind went blank. I couldn’t remember where I was or where I was going. It took me a good minute before I regained memory. 

Thirdly is clumsiness. This one is hard to differentiate from my normal clumsiness but I definitely don’t usually fall over all the time, or have difficulty holding a pen or unbuttoning my blouses. This is another thing I have noticed over the passed few months. 

I’m honesty just hoping this message resonates with someone on here. You don’t have to reply with a long message but just simply an acknowledgment that someone has read mine. I’m feeling so alone, anxious, scared. 

My biggest fear is that the surgery hasn’t worked. I won’t get better, and I might get worse. 

Thank you for reading and look after your head! X

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