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Deep depression

Posted , 9 users are following.

michael65001
michael65001

Hello everyone.

I'm Michael.

I posted all once here. I found that it helps in parts.

Iv recently had a on set of health anxiety and depression. Continually think of death and nothing after death.

Strong thoughts of where do we go when do all living things go this followed all from a health scare I have doctors appointments in place along with councilling and currently on a short term does of diazepam 2mg 3x a day.

I'm find each day hard, I'm not been able to eat for 2 weeks only force feed Iv last 9lb in weight and scared the weight lose and not craving food is cancer and not anxiety.

Blood results come back fine that said. I'm also book for a ultras scan.

I'm finding talking to people is helping has anyone else or is currently going thought this, anyone close to Nottingham area.

Please I hope for a reply.

0 likes, 61 replies

61 Replies

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  • tess33005
    tess33005 michael65001

    Posted

    Forgot to add that I have been in your situation and gradually overcame, with the help of medication and counselling.

    So don't lose hope, please, and please keep in touch with us.

    Hugs.     Tess xxxxx

    • tess33005
      tess33005 michael65001

      Posted

      You will see a little picture of an envelope under the names of everyone who replied to you.

      All you do is click on the envelope of the person you send a PM to, and site will automatically direct you to that person's PMs (if any).

      If they don't have any, don't panic! Just write a brief title to your message and a box will appear where you write your message.

      I have personally found that faith is the route that cured me, eventually.  I am a practising Christian. My favourite quote from the Bible is I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU (Hebrews)

      Love and blessings. I'd be wary of spiritualists, by the way, Michael.

      xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxfrom Tess

    • sandra01720
      sandra01720 tess33005

      Posted

      "I'd beware of spiritualists". Amen to that. Find a Bible believing group to support you and pray with you.

      We care. How much I understand the anguish you are in. God loves you deeply. Cling to that.

    • sandra01720
      sandra01720

      Posted

      This should have been sent to Michael.. Not Tess!smile

  • borderriever
    borderriever michael65001

    Posted

    Hello Michael

    I am Bob I live up on the English Scottish Border, not Nottingham.

    You seem to be going through a rough time, I went through a rough time several years ago and I tried to take my life, I ended up waking in Hospital and all I remember was darkness and heroic actions of a very tired medical team in A and E.. So I gather all I saw was nothing, it could have been I had done wrong and they had pushed me down a dark tunnel to frighten me.

    What really got me upset was the upset it all caused to my family, given time I hope to be able to get back the trust I lost on that evening, My Wife now orders my medications and distributes them as and when they are required, my wife also what if, and that is wrong it was all my fault and I will need to compensate for my actions.

    You say you are not eating, are you taking fluids ??. 

    Do you feel you need help, It is just a telephone call away call 111 and explain your concerns, they will make sure you are safe

    What has caused the way you feel, 

    You need to eat and drink so you need help. The not eating or drinking is not cancer and that will be proven when you see your GP, with results of your scan.

    Would it be better to first find out your results because it is you that is not eating causing some problems for yourself

    If you need to chat we are here, although it is importand you call the health line 111 can you do that please

    BOB

    • michael65001
      michael65001 borderriever

      Posted

      Hi Bob.

      Thank you for you reply, I sorry to hear you felt so bad you wanted to leave this world, it's not a nice place at all.

      I did actually call 111 on Sunday as I couldn't cope, I couldn't carry on at all, they sent me to see a doctor. She help me so much, physical went over me and my blood results and checked all my bumps and lumps that where all normal and see confirmed blood results show and problems of cancer and mine was clear, she gave me medication and asked me to see my doctor urgently with in the next two day which tomorrow morning I'll see my GP, she gave me diazpan to get me throught the days.

      It's made me tired and calm. I'm a service manager for work but they are really supporting me throught this.

    • borderriever
      borderriever michael65001

      Posted

      Hello Michael

      Let me know how you get on tomorrow

      Keep a hold, Always around for a chat

  • wendywilts
    wendywilts michael65001

    Posted

    Hi Michael, I dont live near Nottingham, but just wanted to say, I am sure with the right meds and councelling you will begin to feel better.

    From what you say it is highly unlikely that you have cancer or any other serious illness.

    I do know what you are going through, as I have had these feelings and thoughts also, for me its not dying thst worries me, its more of what I have to deal with before I go.

    I am a Spiritualist and therefore believe there is more, hence have know fear of what comes after, the fact is we all die at some point, its unavoidable, and probably the only definate thing in this world.

    And if I am wrong and there isnt anything else, well then, I wont know about it anyway. I have spent most of my life with health anxiety, I have had every illness possible, well in my mind at least, I have wasted hours worrying and obsessing over symptoms, in fact still

    Do often, but if you can get the right treatment you can to some extent overcome the worst of this illness.

    Please try to relax and stop dwelling on things, enjoy life, join the gym if you can, or meditate, anything to break the cycle of worry,

    I wish you well x

    • michael65001
      michael65001 wendywilts

      Posted

      Thank you Wendy.

      Your reply is great, I do actually go to the gym but stopped due to worrying how much weight I was losing.

    • wendywilts
      wendywilts michael65001

      Posted

      I Think your weight loss is all down to your anxiety, many years ago I convinced myself I had bowel cancer, I had all the symptoms, I lost loads of weight, stool tests revealed blood traces, people kept asking me what was wrong as I lost weight and looked so gaunt.

      Well that was 17 years ago, and guess what, it turned out I didnt have cancer, it was IBS brought on by stress, and anxiety. It was a catch 22 really, because the IBS was caused by stress, but the stress of worrying about my condition was making it worse.

      What I am saying is, just because we may have symptoms of some major disease, it doesnt mean we have. If anxiety can create such a mass of symptoms it can replicate anything we fixate on.

      When I saw a specialist, had some negative tests, I made up my mind to believe him, and hey presto, not immediately, but every day things improved, and I was able to go out again, get a life back. Gosh I couldnt even go in the garden for fear of needing the loo.

      All these years later, yes I still get IBS when anxiety is high, but it is now under control.

      Please put your faith in your doctor/specialists, believe what they say is correct, and if you dont feel that they are, try a different doctor, and when symptoms occur as they will, just acknowledge them, and then get on with your day.

      I suggest if you went back to the gym you may find it helps, and if your still not eating, ask them at the gym what they would recommend, maybe a protein drink, or something like, explain your dilemna, they will know how to help.

      Look forward to reading a post from you soon, on how much improved you are. Take care

  • helen20833
    helen20833 michael65001

    Posted

    Please don't panic over the weight loss, Michael. When I first had anxiety disorder I went from

    9 stone 8 pounds to under 7 stone in a matter of 3 weeks I had little appetite and when I did manage to eat I felt ill

    I learned to keep off the scales and not to worry about my thinness. I made the effort to eat little and often, chewing slowly, making sure I had lots of fluids.

    I also going liquid foods bought at the local pharmacy a great help. As for dwelling upon death you must live for the here and now. I have said to others yesterday is gone and we cannot change it, who knows what tomorrow brings? But it is this day that matters. Try to take each day as it comes.

    I send many hugs and look, Michael, everyone here cares and wants to help you. You are not alone We are all rooting for you

    Xx

    • michael65001
      michael65001 helen20833

      Posted

      Hi Helen.

      Thank you kindly, it's helping to see other are out there... I think this has changed me as a person in a good way and something is telling me it's a wake up call, treat everyone fairly no matter what. I think I'll struggle to judge a person ever again, I hope I get better so I can help others with this horrible illness.

    • helen20833
      helen20833 michael65001

      Posted

      There will come a time when you will help others, Michael And when you emerge from this you will have new strengths an empty for others. The world will once again be a good place for you.keep faith in yourself because that's where healing begins and ends. Big hugs Helen

    • helen20833
      helen20833

      Posted

      Oh bugger! An empathy for others not an empty😂

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