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Deep depression for long time

Posted , 6 users are following.

steve15331
steve15331

Really not sure what to say anymore . Have been very depressed for I can't even remember for how long . Love of my life came along and made me happy and felt alive again . Then she ran off and it's been a downward spiral for me . Got one grate friend and don't think they know how deeply depressed I am . And how much pain I really am in and suffering . People just say get over it . Yea right . Like to see them in my position and try just to get over it . Can't seem to do anything right . Really don't care if something happens to me anymore .

2 likes, 12 replies

12 Replies

  • lynne82155
    lynne82155 steve15331

    Posted

    HIya Steve

    Sorry that you are feeling bad, have you ever been treated for depression?

    Im not a doctor but Ive been dumped and felt very low, but I can also say that I have depression and anxiety and the two are not the same.

    Feeling down after a break up or a death is very very sad, talk to someone and if you think you cant cope go see your doctor.

    Take care

    • steve15331
      steve15331 lynne82155

      Posted

      I was deeply depressed before my loss . But it just made it worse . I've talked to doctors and the just want to put me on meds . And the meds have issues with suicide also. Already thought about that . Don't need meds to make it worse .
    • lynne82155
      lynne82155 steve15331

      Posted

      I have had depression for 16 years the anxiety is pretty new, it took me along time to get the correct meds, I know its not for everyone but go see your doctor and gets some therapy, its a long waiting list in uk but there are charities who can help with reduces rate private sessions.

      It wont go away on its own.

      Meanwhile try and talk to a family member or friend it does help[

      Stay strongbiggrin

  • tanya73074
    tanya73074 steve15331

    Posted

    Hey Steve, I write this whilst nodding in complete agreement with you! I couldn't relate more to your feelings.

    I have suffered with depression and (recently diagnosed) ptsd for so long now, I don't know what it feels like to be at peace.

    I can understand where you are at now, where you start to numb, the hope is fading and all you are left with are these crippling thoughts of you rationalising your death. But I can't give up. I can't let the people who hurt me win.

    I am sorry to hear about your ex. Do you find being in a relationship saves you somewhat? There energy keeps you going? I felt like that, but I realised it probably wasn't the healthiest thing and I needed to sort me out before I dragged someone into my mess.

    I have one friend, but I don't tell her how I feel. Not honestly. She makes me laugh and treats me like I am a normal person, I don't want to make her feel any different towards me or for her to know I'm a little... 'insane in the membrane'.

    This pain is too real, I feel it too. This raw burning pain that follows me around with a dull ache of sadness. I don't want anything to happen to you, we do not deserve this pain. Let's work some of this out together before we turn into stone.

    All my best, Tanya. X

    • steve15331
      steve15331 tanya73074

      Posted

      I'm really at rock bottom . Nothing feels right anymore . Nothing makes me happy anymore . Family dosent understand . I'm afraid of putting to much on my friends shoulders . Think that would end it for me if my friend left to . The love of my life was hew I needed . Felt normal again felt like I can look people in the eyes and feel happy and proud . Made me feel strong and able to deal with life . I've had other relationships before but she was the only one that made me feel hole again like I was human again . Now don't know what I am .
    • tanya73074
      tanya73074 steve15331

      Posted

      It's totally s****y being at rock bottom, I understand, but I don't feel now is the time to give up. I can see how much she meant to you and right now things seem a lot harder without her, I can see you needed her, but I can also see how strong you are to have come this far.

      I do wish I had a magic wand where i could vanish all of your pain and suffereing in an instant, but would that really help? Would you ever recognise how far you've truly come and how strong you are if I was just to make it all dissapear now?

      Yes, it's crappy you no longer have her, but I believe you could learn something from this experience, try to find some positives? It may help?

      I think you need to find yourself too, it seems you have spent so much time relying on her for your happiness and wellbeing you have neglected finding that in yourself by your own. When I feel I need to discover myself again I do something I enjoy, draw, play piano, do something I used to love to doing but forgot how much i loved it.

      I understand that you don't want to burden your friends with your problems, maybe if you felt you could talk to them you could open up a whole new level of friendship beyond what you have now.

      Plus, if speaking to your friend is not something you feel ready to do yet, you could always come on here and make friends with all of us on this site. Never feel lonely, there is people out there that want to help.

      Much love, Tanya smile

  • stevo1975
    stevo1975 steve15331

    Posted

    Steve, heartbreak can certainly add to depression if your buddy is a good friend talk to them tell them whats up and how tough things talking about things does help! Have you been to doctor as there is life after depression, maybe take ant depressant for a period to balance things maybe get therapy there are a number of options my man! Things will improve again trust me! 
    • steve15331
      steve15331 stevo1975

      Posted

      I like to lay everything out to my friend but there going through a tough time also .
    • stevo1975
      stevo1975 steve15331

      Posted

      Sometimes though Steve its good to help someone with their problem to take their mind of theirs plus it can also give them perspective of their problem/s dont downgrade how you feel buddy its not being dramatic its a real illness which you can improve! 
  • hypercat
    hypercat steve15331

    Posted

    Sorry to hear you are in such a bad place Steve.   If you want to feel better then there really is little choice except to go on meds and/or counselling.  This is all there is unless you want to experiement with self treatment?  

    All meds are different and because one or two made you feel more suicidal then it doesn't follow that every med would.   It is common anyway to feel worse on meds until they kick in properly after about 6 weeks.  x

  • sharla_94860
    sharla_94860 steve15331

    Posted

    I know exactly how you feel. I'm going through a divorce, I was married 21 years and with him for 24! When I left him he took my kids from me, they were my whole world! I met a man who I liked but was afraid to trust. Week by week he broke through the trust barrier and we talked so openly. We talked about our past mistakes and what we would do to not repeat those mistakes. Then my soon to be ex started causing waves. Stalking me! That was more than the new man in my life was prepared to deal with. All the promises he made, all the future I belive I'd share with him.... all GONE! Now I'm all alone, no friends no family in a new life, a new job, new town new apartment. I hate my life and everything about it. I'm on effexor it's not helping yet, but maybe it would help you. Talk to a Dr and see if that might be your key. Best wishs.
    • stevo1975
      stevo1975 sharla_94860

      Posted

      Sorry to hear that Sharla! You will find someone that makes you happy that you can trust when I cant say but you are a wonderful person and karma always pays back take care try and stay positive wink
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