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delusions???

Posted , 4 users are following.

kjk22
kjk22

ive been having what i think are delusions i think i’m best friends with my best friend, and good friends with a lot of people, but they don’t seem to like me as much as i do them? so i get delusions they hate me and leave me out on purpose and want to hurt me and consciously try to hurt my feelings. and i get those delusions w family too, and even teachers, thinking they hate me because i was late or something. it’s been a real big problem with a few friendships in particular, for years with me “best friend” bc i always feel i’m not good enough and she treats me differently from her other friends, even ones she just met she favors, though in the moment i believe my delusions but a few hours after i realize i’m probably not right, but they reoccur and cause fights. i didn’t give thought that it might all be in my head for a long time, but everyone isn’t wrong, it’s probably me. it causes a lot of sadness, loneliness, anger, hopelessness, and feeling left out and not good enough. i wouldn’t know how to bring it up w my psychiatrist, bc i feel like if i say i think i have delusions he will think i’m self diagnosing and obviously sting, or that i don’t have them bc i eventually see that it’s not reality

1 like, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • kjk22
    kjk22

    Posted

    edit: this was the main cause for my depression and anxiety, and the main symptom and reason i got help in the first place, but at the time i thought it was normal parts of depression and the medicine would make it go away, ive been increasing dose a ling time thinking a higher dose would treat it, and even adding medications

  • ana85762
    ana85762 kjk22

    Posted

    Hi I wouldn't consider that a delusion ,perhaps mistrust ?!insecurity ?!have you tried talking to a psychologist ?!try to get your feelings out ?! try not to bring your self down with guilt ,try to communicate perhaps before assuming ?!! I'm just trying to help because I know how you feel and at the end everything turns into a disagreement or even worse. that's just my opinion ,I am not trying to offend anyone. hope you feel better soon.

  • clifford46498
    clifford46498 kjk22

    Posted

    It's all a manifestation in your own mind. Words do no justice when we feel something inside. It may seem easy to say or hear, but to me it is as though someone asks, "On a scale of one to ten how much do you hurt?" When you are torn in your gut it is beyond putting a number on it. As why do I exist, why a I so alone, Why these feelings of uselessness or unworthiness?

    For whatever value or help, there are others sharing your feelings.

  • hikiaru
    hikiaru kjk22

    Posted

    talk to your therapists. It's okay if they're not delusions. do you want them to? I ask because I myself for example want to hallucinate. I think you may have low self esteem and other similar stuff that may cause this. I'm sorry about it 😕

    • kjk22
      kjk22 hikiaru

      Posted

      i dont necessarily want to hallucinate, but i hope thats what im doing since i want it to be gone and treated . something i can control with medication and not just have to live with

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