Depressed. 😞

Posted , 4 users are following.

hi all. im just very overwhelmed and have no body to talk to. since i started to become anxious about my health its been non stop, one after the other, symptoms. its frustrating. i experience things now and i try to look back to see if ive experienced it before but i cant even remember cuz back then i wouldnt even have noticed these things. i do not have money to afford a good therapist so i tried talking to the free district therapist who told me she would call back and never did. right now im convinced that i have either an infectious bacteria or lymphoma/leukemia. why? cuz i have a swollen node under one side of my cheek bone and my poop looks sort of dark brownish greenish. see the thing is i know how silly i probably sound but i cant help but worry and im sick of it. i just wish that it could all just stop. that i could feel healthy and believe that i am.

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16 Replies

  • Posted

    having a swollen lymph node is normally associated with a virus such as a cold, flu, etc. I have had them swollen in my neck, armpits, groin area. And that was probably 30 years ago. my kids used to get them sometimes when they were sick with a virus. So try not to get too stressed out about this.

    Are you able to visit a doctor for a check up? That would give you peace of mind.

    poop can change colors sometimes it’s what you eat. I wouldn’t worry too much about that. just see if you can get a check up so that you can relax a little bit. Take care of yourself

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  • Posted

    hi,

    i haven't had health anxiety but I have had panic attacks and anxiety for years. ive always felt that my anxiety "evolved". for example, 7 years ago when it started i had pains in my heart, one night i considered calling an ambulance as i thought i was having a heart attack. this is where i could have developed health anxiety.

    however, the doctors prescribed beta blockers which lowered my heart rate and blocked this symptom.

    after coming off the beta blockers i no longer "believed" i was having heart problems, therefore i wasn't anxious about my health. because i wasnt anxious, there was no anxiety to give me heart pains and therefore no heart pains to give me anxiety. it is a loop of anxiety : you believe you have health problem==> you feel anxious==>the anxiety symptoms are mistaken for possible health problems.

    it is all about belief. my advice to you is to read up on the bodies fight or flight response.

    i can tell you from my experience anxiety is the ultimate placebo effect. it can make you feel pains and sensations that aren't there. if you start to believe these sensations are due to a health issue you will get more anxiety and the loop continues.

    through education and understanding you will begin to believe that what you are experiencing is no more than the body's fight or flight response being activated unnecessarily. you'll begin to believe that you're not actually ill which will decrease the anxiety and hence decrease the sensations that make you think you are ill.

    my second piece of advice

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    • Posted

      thank you for asking. im doing better these days. although its how it usually goes. i have a couple really bad days and then some pretty ok ones. i woke up in a panic last night which was strange cuz i went to bed peacefully. never the less, at least im alright. ive been reading on the fight or flight response and its effects on people like me. its brought me some ease, though i still have fear and panic. thanks again so much for the advice and for checking in. i really appreciate it.

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    • Posted

      in the UK we have cbt cognitive behavioural therapy as a treatment for panic. when mine was first bad the CBT therapist told me to learn as much about fight or flight. i took it with a pinch of salt. trouble with anxiety it's all about belief and i didn't believe the advice of someone who has not had panic issue themselves. hopefully as I've been there you can trust me it is a big part of the solution. you need to learn enough about it to start changing your belief.

      you can compare it to a car in the street. the wind blows and there's always that one car alarm that goes off. our fight or flight response has become very sensitive.

      the trouble is, the part of the brain responsible for this response is part of the unconscious brain ie you cannot physically control it.

      what I've learnt is that when the panic comes on, the way you think will either let it die out or make it worse.

      it's like a flame, the way you think either let's it go out or adds fuel to it.

      adding fuel to it; oh no it's coming on, it's getting worse.

      letting it go out; it is only the body's right it flight response. let's see what happens. let it do it's worse

      over time applying this way of thinking has made my body less sensitive, i panic much less however when I'm tired i do succumb to the wrong way of thinking and struggle with it

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    • Posted

      Agree with your points about the anxiety loop. I also think there is often a certain amount of 'emotional reasoning' occurring: I feel something is happening, the feeling feels so real, therefore it must be true, rather than merely being a physical response to a thought or stimulus.

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    • Posted

      thanks so much. i love how youve compared it to a sensitive car alarm cuz thats exactly how i feel. when the attacks come on i just try to calm myself and they usually go away but it leaves me feeling really messed up and worried further. we dont have the option to CBT with out a big cost attached to it where im from but i have been reading alot on the fight or flight response and it has been clearing up a couple things. its my own mentality that has me feeling the way i do. as much as i try, i feel like im afraid to think that everythings ok with me cuz some how ive led myself to believe that if i think im ok, im leaving myself unguarded and thats when something catastrophic would happen. i need to be brave but im just not brave enough yet.

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    • Posted

      I'm noticing things that would set panic off straight away no longer have the same effect. so I'm definitely de-sensitising but still struggle with it.

      how have the just few days been? you need to change

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    • Posted

      im having a great problem. i feel like a big part of me is ready to let all the health anxiety go because im not "freaking out" the way i usually do lately, but the fact that im not freaking out has me freaking out. i feel like theres a little part of me thats still worried. the majority of me understands that its just anxiety and it not really a big deal but this little part is telling me that if i give up on worrying all the time, im leaving myself unguarded. this is frustrating. thing is, i want to feel well:... i want to feel like im ok. why am i so scared to let this fear go.

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    • Posted

      it's all about belief. Tony Robbins compared beliefs to a table top with legs:

      "The table top is the belief, and the legs are the facts used to support the belief. However, often the legs we used to support a limiting belief are not factual, we just believe they are. "

      he said something like "why does someone think they're good looking" you can't choose to believe you are good looking you need frames of references in your life such as people telling you to make you believe it.

      in short, you can't simply tell yourself "i believe im not ill" you need frames of reference such as a doctor giving you a medical example, learning that anxiety causes the same symptoms etc to change your belief. and the biggest one will be time passing and you haven't died!

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    • Posted

      youre absolutely right especially about the last point. that has gotten me to the level of calmness that im at now. i was at a much worse state that i am now and the constant fact that ive not been right about it being the end has made me realized that its just the anxiety talking. although some things still hit me hard.

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