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I've struggled with depression my whole life, the last year or so I've been pretty good but lately things just feel like they are going down hill fast. I have a 10 month old daughter who I love more than anything, but since having her my life feels like it's lacking any sort of excitement . My fiancé is different. He doesn't treat me how he used too, he used to be so loving, so caring. Now I'm lucky if he tells me he loves me when he gets home from work. I'm lucky if I get one kiss throughout the day. Sex is rare. At first I thought it must be the way I look especially after having my daughter but I lost all of my pregnancy weight, and am still losing. I'm a bit underweight now. 102 lbs 5 feet 8 inches .  Everyone has been telling me I look sick. I feel sick. I feel morbidly depressed. I hate my life, I don't do anything but sit at home with my daughter. When my fiancé comes home we don't do anything. Weekends are spent inside on the couch. My self esteem is getting lower and lower I feel unattractive and my fiancée plays a huge role in that. He keeps nude photos of his ex girl friends, I catch him looking at another woman. And he's lied to me before, not about other women but about other major things so it's hard to trust him. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what the next steps are. 

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  • Posted

    Hi there

    I know what it’s like to be depressed and still have to get up and run about after a little one... especially since everyone tells you that you should be happy. I remember it well, my daughter is 7 and I still struggle. 

    It sounds like your partner has a role to play in how you feel about yourself. I have to say I’m shocked to hear you say he keeps nude pictures of his exes. No way would I allow that. Sounds like he does not appreciate you tbh. 

    You also need to try take time to do something nice for yourself. Being a mum is a full time job but we all need a break now and then. 

    Have you been to your GP about how you are feeling?

    It is possible you have post natal depression so I would definitely see your GP. And if you are in the UK, speak to your health visitor too. She may be able to introduce you to mums groups etc. 

    Hang on in there. Feel free to message me

    Take care

    Lisa x

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  • Posted

    I gree with lisa, you need support from your husband at this time, and hes got nude pictures of exes on his phone???? Next time you catch him, just let rip, just do it, its the last thing he’ll expect and you might shock the truth out of him. Give him an ultimatum, grow up or f**k off! You dont need a partner like that and your daughter doesnt need a dad who putsbhis own selfish needs infront of his familys.Next, you need to get your electrolytes and thyroid levels checked, having my little one left me with low b12 levels, low folate and anaemic, i had no energy or interest in anything and was weak, talk to the doc about feeling low, they will help you, ask for a cbt, someone who comes to see you and talk about things that are bothering you, they will help you and give you help and advice.

    motherhood has its ups and downs, if your sick of the mundaneness, remind yourself that it wont be like this forever, soon your little one will be walking, now is a good time to find a local baby group, so you can interact with other local mums, it will be great for  your daughter aswell.

    Most importantly, find a way to have some “me time” can someone watch your lottle one for a few hours a week to let you do your shopping or have a bath or paint your nails in peace! This doesnt seem like much but its actually essential for your own well being.


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  • Posted

    Make an appointment with your GP and act upon any advice He can suggest. Your weight seems very low. That needs to be addressed, in no way do you show yourself frumpish in fact more the opposite.

    You could also contact RELATE, Generally both of you will need to attend. On occasions your GP can arrange some assistance, because after a Birth,  that in its own right can cause mixed feelings  between Partners


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  • Posted

    A relationship is about love and respect and whilst your husband may love you he is not respecting you simply by having nude pictures of his ex on his phone amongst other women! 

    You have just had a baby and this is the time that you are going to need lots of love, support and a bit of you time too so again your partner should be helping to reassure you that you are beautiful and even taking the baby for his time alone with baby whilst you get a bath and relax too. 

    I would suggest seeing your GP to diagnose whether or not you could have a bit of postnatal depression and then also enrol into a mother and baby group where you can meet other mums who may feel the same as you do too for support.  Also sit your partner down and tell him exactly how you are feeling and how much his behaviour is upsetting you. 

    There has to be some ground rules in any relationship and unless the boundaries are well stated then I think it is wise to make sure they are clear so he knows that he is overstepping the mark.  Ask him how he would feel if it was the other way around.

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