Depressed and living with girlfriends parents. HELP!

Posted , 6 users are following.

Hi

This is my first post. I was diagnosed with severe depression 2 years ago and got help and started taking Meds..... which I am still taking. I started to feel better as i moved in with girlfriends parents as my home life was causing my depression to get worse...

However im starting to slide right back down in to the bottom of depression hole and can't get out.. I love my girlfriend as she is the main reason I started to feel better. However her living here with her parents is causing me just to slide right back.

I'm only 21 and I can't afford to buy or rent and can't move back with family.... I really stuck any help or advise would be great.

Thamks

2 likes, 13 replies

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13 Replies

  • Posted

    R.

    I can imagine living with the girlfried and Her Mam and Dad must be really stressed.

    It will not be helped with a dysfunctional home life at your Parents home

    I cannot imagine how you are feeling and the stress you are suffring from so I would have words with your GP and see if a course of CBT may work. What has caused the depression, how are you getting on with Her Parents, thy must love her very much and look upon you as responsable and understanding your Girlfriends needs.

    It is difficult all I can say is bite your lip and see if you can get a council flat or Housing association flat. I know it is difficult and we went through the first two years in a small flat until we managed our first home.

    I feel for you all including Her Mam and Dad

    B.

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    • Posted

      Thanks for the reply

      I just so hard, I really feel like I can't cope... Im sure it's my exspirence living with my family in the past just makes where every i am so difficalt to live with other people. With my girlfriend it's different as she know how to help and what ticks I have for my depression.

      I havent even thought about contacting the council due to the fact we are both in work on good salarys for are age. It just the we can't afford anything around due to the cost of houses prices.

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  • Posted

    It's time to have a open discussion with her and family. Even just talking about this in a open honest conversation can help get the ball rolling in an positive direction. . They all obviously care about you be thankful for their kindness and they will return you kindness with understanding and love.Need to see about other meds for depression and talk , cognitive therapy. Depression is a funny thing can go in cycles. Keep a journal of your ups and downs and what causes you to become depressed. 

    Ross depression is a serious stressful event and the longer it's put off to obtain professional help the more it causes disruption in our lives. 

     

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    • Posted

      Thank you for the reply. I have been on Duloxetine for 2 years now... could it really start changing.... it helped for the first year massive. Her parents are really nice but if anything happens of was similar offers what happens when I was at home it just sends me back. Very very hard.
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  • Posted

    You have to talk this out with everyone.  Take control of your depression and make changes in the way you interact. You need to change meds it absolutely going to help and you also need to be more proactive I your life, cannot depend on others to make you feel better this you can learn thru therapy . Otherwise it becomes a snowball rolling down hill until something snaps. You can do this and important for future relationships.
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    • Posted

      Yeah I do feel like I need to talk to everyone and say how hard I'm finding it atm. But don't want them to stop likeing me because of it and get annoyed at me and not understand.

      I'm going to go back to go asap for anxiety and depression because I feel I'm going back again. When I felt great after crushing depression however im getting all the bad feelings again

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  • Posted

    Arose that's a good start just talking with general since of anxiety. Not to many details. I have a feeling there could be some misunderstandings.

    its good to follow thru and break the mold and straighten up any misunderstandings. Everyone will feel better as everyone feels the pressure and just getting out playing cards or sports can relieve tensions.

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  • Posted

    HI Ross our bodies do build up a tolerance to any medication for depression and here's ten many available.  2 rears is a long time on the same med without dosage adgustment. You need to see ours doctor. It may be as simple as an increase or change meds. Some work better than others and it takes time to find what works for you.

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  • Posted

    I liked someone's reply about you talking to your gf's parents.

    I understand how trapped/helpless/overwhelmed you feel.

    I think you have to start thinking in shorter time frames. Meaning, it is overwhelming to think about your long range future.  I think you should think more on a weekly basis.  Try and make shorter term plans/goals.

    So, maybe each week you set up small goals towards getting a job. Discuss this with her parents, so they know that you are aware of the unease of the how and you are grateful to be there and are taking steps to get back on your feet. 

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  • Posted

    Have you told your doctor the situation and how you are sliding backwards. Perhaps a medicine change is needed or therapy. Another thing is discussing things with your friend. If you feel this would be better not to talk to her about, then by all means see your doctor as soon as possible. A family situation that causes depression may cause other things such as PTS, post traumatic stress. Just getting out of what caused your depression does not mean all is well. I grew up in terrible cercumstances also and you have to deal with your problems and do exactly as your doctor prescribes. By all means never stop your meds without your doctors recomendation. It is hard for a person to live financially these days. That certaintly doesn't help matters. I hope your circumstances improve soon and always come back for advice or just to talk. We are not doctors but we care about each oher and are glad to help in what ever way we can. I wish you future happiness and know it can happen.

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    • Posted

      Thanks for the reply. I'm going to book a doctors appoinment today see if getting higher dose or more Meds. I have done counselling which helped me cope about what happened in the past. And I have done CBT which sort of help. But it still feels like something is missing.... mainly when something happens or I'm down what to do?

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    • Posted

      You really should try to sort out your living accomadation. If you both work and have good jobs you should be able to save for a deposit on a rented flat when staying at her parents. By relying on her parents for accomadation you are in a precarious position if you fall out with them or your girl friend.

      Do what borderretriever suggests and put your name on the council or local housing association list and start saving for a place on your own. I too feel for you all especially her parents having been in their position.

      Parents look forward to their children gaining their own independance and leaving home and getting their own homes to do what they want without parents breathing down on them.

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