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Depressed and problems mounting that I can't solve

Posted , 4 users are following.

alan24529
alan24529

Well... where to start?

I've been suffering from depression for a long time now, probably close to 15 years. I have managed to keep going in the past, but lately I don't feel the same. The problems around me seem to be escalating, and I don't have the means to fix them.

I'm both employed full time, and my wife's full time carer, plus we have 2 children.

My wife has spinal problems, so cannot cook, clean, wash herself etc, and recently has been told she may well have tumours on her pituitary gland.

My house I'd falling down around me, literally. I have zero DIY skills, and the bathroom has plants growing through the wall, the ceiling is about to collapse, and the kitchen let's in more rain than it keeps out. Then there's the rats. We live near a railway line, and the rats just swarm in. Much of the back of our house was built from timber, and rats chew through it like paper!

of course, I could hire someone to fix these things, except I cannot afford it, as I'm still paying off debts I racked up after being diagnosed with bowel cancer at 25. 13 years later and it is still killing me.

I feel like I'm letting everyone down, even though I'm doing what I can.

I just don't know how much I can actually cope before something snaps and I jump under a train.

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • sam18386
    sam18386 alan24529

    Edited

    hi alan, i just feel for you, you poor man! you could do with diy sos to sort your property, you could do with someone to take the pressure off and give you a hug. have you told anybody how bad your situation is, including your doctor may? have you asked social services for help for your wife? i suggest you get a cat maybe or humane rat traps to help? ask to pull in favours off friends and neighbours to help with your home. cits advice may help with solving your debts. if you see if your bank will help with debts by putting them together and pay minimum amounts to stop them charging you any more. i hope this helps, can't think what else to suggest!

  • sam18386
    sam18386 alan24529

    Posted

    hi alan, i just feel for you, you poor man! you could do with diy sos to sort your property, you could do with someone to take the pressure off and give you a hug. have you told anybody how bad your situation is, including your doctor may? have you asked social services for help for your wife? i suggest you get a cat maybe or humane rat traps to help? ask to pull in favours off friends and neighbours to help with your home. cits advice may help with solving your debts. if you see if your bank will help with debts by putting them together and pay minimum amounts to stop them charging you any more. i hope this helps, can't think what else to suggest!

  • jan34534
    jan34534 alan24529

    Edited

    i’m sorry you are going through this. Definitely get some help from social services for your wife! That would be through the

    1. Social Security office would help your wife through social services. she may even qualify for disability. There’s a lot of help out there!
    2. talk to local clergy at churches because very often they can provide resources for you in regards to your wife, your house, etc. . . The more people you talk to the more help you’re going to get. Don’t try to do this alone it’s just too much.
    3. LOOK into government assistance programs. Habitat for Humanity is one of those programs. they fix peoples homes up.

      YOU have not let anybody down. Sometimes things just happen to people that’s out of their control.

      Your children need you and I know that there is help out there for you.

      4 talk to your bank about the debt. They can do several things to help you out. just tell them your situation.

      I encourage you to do these things and hope that you find the support that you need for yourself and your family. Take care.

      LITTLE by Little things will start to improve. Never ever ever give up! It may be difficult but it will be nice when everything feels a little more secure.

      It will all work out ❤

  • TarynMia1990
    TarynMia1990 alan24529

    Posted

    honestly Alan, it sounds like your holding it all together pretty well for something that anyone would find hard to cope with. Everything that you have explained is 'out of your control'. I think sometimes we need to be reminded that. I too atm am finding it hard to cope with Cancer and poor health in my family. Its a reality most would run away from, but Loyalty is strong in me and damn it is strong in you too.

    for the unfortunate situation you are in right now, give yourself some credit for pulling through it daily. We wake up each morning and the only thing we can control is how we will see our day through. May it be Positive or Negative. Just remember you are not alone in your struggles please.

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