Depressed and suicidal partner is threatening violence

Posted , 4 users are following.

Does anyone have any advice?  During an argument, my partner said she could strangle me whilst holding her hands at my neck. She suffers from depression and this is a first violent issue. It really scared me and in theory I'd leave her. However she said if I do, she'll kill herself.I don't know what to do.

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    yes I was like that with my ex and he left me 

    ill say help her get help dont leave cause itll make it worst 

    everyone intensions are different she might want to kill you or herself you never know or maybe tryna just scare you to not leave her , just stay by her side 

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  • Posted

    She is crying out for help.  Find her that help and protect yourself at the same time.  You are not qualified to help her....find the professional help that she needs. 

    Her threat to kill herself is blackmail, if you need to leave for your own safety, then do.

    I hope you come through this awful situation, I feel sorry for your partner, but I also feel sorry for you, it isn't fair that you have to be scared of the one you love.

    Take care,

    Pat xx

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    • Posted

      yea my ex got away and thought the smart way of leaving before he was ended up dead but as Im fixing myself I wish he was here by my side but were friends & he has a girl he loves for 5months which doesnt make anything better
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  • Posted

    Your gf is crying out for attention and there is a possibility that she may "try" something silly.. like cutting herself or taking "60" tablets (really only taking 10, then making herself sick without u knowing?)

    Is she constantly nip picking at u and expecting u to make all her problems better? And when u dont follow thro she acts like an immature spoiled little brat?? Anything sounding familiar??

    Are u being mentally bullied with vulgar words of hate and sometimes disgust?

    And then completly confused wen ur girlfriend breaks down and takes full responsibility for everything, begging for ur forgivness, forcing u to stay in a situation that u really want to leave? Thus making u feel guilty and resposible for her actions.. because ur "supposed to be there for her?"

    I was that girlfriend. Twice now!

    Ive suffered depression for 5 years since i had my youngest child.. i drove my daughters father away with my insane mind and jealous/paranoid thoughts.. I thought i loved him at 1st. I soon came to realise that this was only rebound from my previous relationship (hense the jealousy and paranoia-i think!) but wen in realised this i was pregnant with our daughter (being young and silly i thot this was the perfect way to move on from my previous relationship)

    I later came to see that this was the wrong path! I will never regret my daughter or my relationship with this man. In hind sight Tbh i couldnt have chosen a more perfect rebound! But back to our relationship, i became trapped in my feelings, i was in constant doubt of if i actually did love him. I had my baby and everything just got worse.. i put on so much weight, i cried every minuate i was awake, i couldn't cope with my emotions or my kids, i feltvthat my bf was neverr there!! (He wasnt because he was out working his ass off with 2 jobs trying to support us - I have an older daughter to my previous ex too.. he treated me so badly! we were both just kids at the time) with the help of my ex i overcame the hurt that he caused me, i was open and honest with my ex on how i felt about my ex ex, it must have killed him because he adored me!!

    But my illness got worse and i started to resent him, i changed into a monster.. i started verbally abusing my boyfriend, i couldnt control it.. i was sayin disgusting things that are not right or acceptable in anyway at all! This only made him leave, and quite righttoo but this only made me worse and more scared and insecure and sad ( because i knew that i never actually ment the filth that splirtted out my gob but i just couldnt stop - i felt that he should have understood this because i was unwell) he very rarely spoke or defended himself he would just leave. But this just got worse and worse to the point i snapped and hit him for leaving me.. thats when the physical abuse started.. this poor man tried to put up with alot of crap from me but he himself couldn't take the abuse this is why he kept leaving! I understand this now but at the time i wallowed so much in self pity and depression that i forgot his feelings existed too! I took a lot of tablets one day as a cry for attention and he stuck by me thro alot..but i started to hate him when we were together which only caused more abuse and more depression because i also hated myself so much.. i hated myself for the way i treated this man, i hated myself because i couldnt cope with my life and my own head i just wanted to die! Seemed like the easy way out but i deep down knew it was a cry for attention and that i didnt actually want to be dead!!! I just didnt want to face my life and responsibilities on my own..He eventually cracked and eventually left me, I pushed him away.. but I'm also glad that i did now. Because we were not even suited as people never mind a couple! He left me and my world ended! We didnt speak for 2 years ( he continued too and still continues to be the most respectable man and father i have ever known. ) But me and him just were not a suited match. I actually did love this man who had supported me thro alot of stuff in my time with him but i did not see this until i lost it!

    It took me alot of thearpy and drs/hospital appointments to recover from this break up. Me and him remain like best friends now as we overcame our differences and accepted and forgave each other as i was not a monster and he was not a scumbag.. i was just sick and he couldnt control it. He became sick too I will always be sorry for the way i treated him and vise versa (he wasnt a complete angel!!)

    6 years on.. he is still an amazing father and friend an i will always love ans respect this man.

    We are not inlove anymore as we never really were! We both desperately tried to change each other when we were a couple.

    The best thing he did was to leave me!!! Remember this.

    It will be hard, and ur girlfriend will threaten a lot of things and maybe even follow thro with little silly things. But remeber that this is not YOUR responsibility, nor is it YOUR illness.

    Depression can only be fixed by ones self and if u are lucky enough to have support of family and friends this is a bonus.. but u r not right for her mental state at the moment as she loves u sommuch shes using u as a shoulder/punch bag.. she has alot of isuues that she has to work on alone you cant fix her, she needs to learn for herself the errors of her ways.. and you have to let urself be happy in YOUR life..

    If u love her let her go, in time she will be fine, i promise you!! and let her family and friends help pick her back up!!

    Dont put either of u thro this abuse any longer.. it only gets worse!! It is noones fault.. depression is a horrible thing but do not retaliate with more abuse! Leave and let her know her behaviour will not he tolerated.. she loves u! She wouldnt be so close to u if se didnt!! But shes maybe outof love with u at the moment because of her head and he can't treat u like this and she might not realiswat she has until its gone and she is better.

    I hope u understand this and i hope everything works out for you xxx

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