1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Depression

Depressed and want to end it all

Posted , 8 users are following.

elisabeth72564
elisabeth72564

I have suffered with depression for over 20 years.

In the past few months i have taken a few overdoses and ended up in a&e.

My medication has been adjusted several times and i start to feel better, only to go down hill again after a while.

I am starting to get those feelings that overwhelm me and cause me to overdose. I am not sure if i want yo die or just hurt myself. Each time i have overdosed i get a sensebof calm after.

2 likes, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • patricia44773
    patricia44773 elisabeth72564

    Posted

    Oh Elisabeth, I am so sorry that you feel so bad.  My heart aches for you and I wish I could make everything better for you.

    There are many people on here who will support you and who will be able to give you better advice than I can, so keep looking. 

    I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

    Pat xxxxx

  • DawnDedee
    DawnDedee elisabeth72564

    Posted

    Hi Elisabeth,

    I am so sorry you are feeling this way.  I too am feeling this way.  Although I know that I will not take any action to hurt myself, the level of suffering in not doing something is horrendous.  So I lay in bed every chance I get and hate myself for not getting anything done that needs to be done.  It will lift soon.

    I too have felt that sense of calm after overdosing and I liken it to how cutting oneself must feel.  A release of sorts.  However, that feeling does not last long, so I search for another way, a longer lasting way, to deal with this depression.  

    So I am trying to remember what makes me happiest and it seems as though it is when I am forcing myself to do something that I have been avoiding. 

    Guess I will try to force myself to do something that I have been avoiding.  Please find your something else that makes you feel better.  

    Take care,

    Dawn, USA

  • Mrsfullof
    Mrsfullof elisabeth72564

    Posted

    It's my understanding that you don't want to die, rather you want the pain to stop. I'll give you the same advise that has proven true in my life. Trust in God and get your vitamin D and thyroid levels checked. That was a big part of my depression. Take care. May you find peace
    • patricia44773
      patricia44773 Mrsfullof

      Posted

      Did God cause your depression or cure it?  Where was he when you became depressed? 
    • Mrsfullof
      Mrsfullof patricia44773

      Posted

      It seems to me that you are going to feel as you want to feel. In all that I said, you asked if God caused my depression or cure it. My answer is no He didn't cause it; and because I was lying in bed not wanting to live and tired of being tired; He raised me up. Now I'm being treated for hypothyroidism and all that is. You, ma'am, will have to find your path. Peace.
    • hypercat
      hypercat Mrsfullof

      Posted

      smile  I wish someone would tell me why you have to try!  I have been trying to figure that out for years...  x
    • linda66990
      linda66990 Mrsfullof

      Posted

      I had the same experience.  Years of depression and at the age of 50 got diagnosed with hashimoto's (hypothyroid) and my depression went away.  At the same time I started meditating and focusing on what makes me happy, looking for small things to be grateful for. 
  • jenny99721
    jenny99721 elisabeth72564

    Posted

    Hi Elisabeth - sorry htat you are feeling so low at this time. I am afraid that the anti-depressants only do so much- there  needs to be something else in place to go along with them Whether that be therapy/counselling or just really good friends that understand and accet you. Constant overdosing i think may be a sign that you need help to develop new strategies to manage the feelings of being overwhelmed. Its a bit like someone who is having a panic attack getting used to taking a valium and then not looking for another way to manage the attack. You end up with two problems instead of one. For you it is the regular trip in the ambulance to A/E., where you have nurses to talk to and you are looked after and made to feel safe. Unfortunately it can play havoc with the liver and kidneys annd this may one day cause problems for you. I say all this out of conern for you and the possible risks of what you are doing. it must be hell to feel the nees to take lots of pills to get some relief from your depression but there must be another way for you to move on from this. I hope that under new system in much of the UK that there is a mental health assesment team available who can talk to you about options for some level of recovery in your mental health. If no talk to GP about what is available - however this will only work for you if you are really fed up of visits to a/e and want a better way for you. sendng u my regards and hope u feel better soon Jen
Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.