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Depressed because of what my auto immune diseases (2) are doing to me.

Posted , 4 users are following.

frustrated61
frustrated61

First, to start out, I suffer depression from chronic pain so I am taking an anti anxiety pill for that.  Second, I suffer from sarcoidosis and sjogren's disease.

I've had problems lately with my eyes.  The corneas in both eyes are scratched leaving me with difficult time seeing, thus making my time to post less and less.  Believe me, I had been an avid writer on this site but lately that part of my life has come to almost null.  

I'm at a point that I've been so depressed about all mentioned above that I think about different ways I could move things along and leave this good earth.  I snap out of it quickly as I have many things to be grateful for but the most, my two daughters and 8 grandkids...that pops in my mind while thinking of the worse thing one can do to themselves.

HAs anyone had this experience and if so, what did you do?  If you have this problem and are suffering as well, I'd like to hear how you're handling this as well.

Warm regards,

Frustrated

1 like, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • elizabeth20203
    elizabeth20203 frustrated61

    Posted

    Hello, I am sorry your suffering with so much pain. I don't have what you have but i do suffer a lot of pain which makes me frustrated and depressed. Like yourself i have my daughters and grandchildren to keep me going. I would suggest you look up a site for the disease your suffering to get support from others suffering the same. I can understand chronic pain and can talk to you about that. 

    Elizabeth.

    • frustrated61
      frustrated61 elizabeth20203

      Posted

      Thank you elizabeth for responding.  My chronic pain is the results of someone not paying attention and "road raging" someone else (not me) and he slammed into me at 45-50 mpr.  I was left with a broken back in two places and fractured neck.  I'm on 75 mg patch of fentanyl, 1800 neurotin, 4 mgs dilaudid and a gamut of other medications.  

      My life changed from being very busy and full of life to pretty much nothing.  I cannot drive, cannot do the exercise programs I was used to doing and all my friends just "feel" for me but they are busy with life.  So, it's my husband and I left with each other and he's frustrated.

      What is your pain from?

      I appreciate your input, thank you.

      Frustrated

    • elizabeth20203
      elizabeth20203 frustrated61

      Posted

      Hi, i am so sorry to hear that through no fault of your own your suffering so much. I have read some of your replys on this site and you do a wonderful job in helping others. Thou nobody as walked in our shoes and suffered our pain, we can have empathy for others. I have had septic arthritis since aged 11 and it's a long story, but i spent months at a time in hospital, because it was not diagnosed straight away, ( in them days it was not heard of in a young child ) I have had lots of operations, some as a child. I had my first knee replacement at aged 39 and my second at aged 52. I now have arthritis in my spine, my other knee and my foot. Pain is my life from morning to night, i now suffer neuropathic nerve pain. I take Gaperpentin at the moment and other arthritic drugs. I suffer Depression and anxiety too. I live alone. I have two daughters and two grand children. My family don't really understand what i go through, nobody does. Anytime you want to talk i am around and i will get back to you. If you want to pm me you can. Look after yourself. Sending hugs. 

      Elizabeth.

    • frustrated61
      frustrated61 elizabeth20203

      Posted

      Hi Elizabeth ~

      Thank you for your kindness and your comment on how I reply to others.  As you know, when doing something, anything that distracts from the pain, it makes the day a bit happy and feeling of content.  When one is angry, it triggers the pain bc of being all tensed up.  I decided it's much easier to be nice and try to be happy rather than an angry person.  Anger with chronic pain is something I believe can take over if one allows this.  Do you think so, Elizabeth? 

      I'm so sorry you've been dealing with such pain at such an early age.  Sometimes life doesn't seem fair.  A child should be able to run and play and not have to worry about the pain they may subject on oneself.  Gosh and surgeries at such a young age too?  When I read posts like yours, I feel I have nothing I should complain about bc I was given the goodness of having a complete childhood wtih regardst o playing and having fun.  I'm sorry you had to suffer at such a young age.

      I also apologize for rambling, I've been up all day and now all night...too much.  Insomnia isn't good for those who are suffering from an auto immune disease!  So, it's a battle at times to even be able to sleep at all  Longest time I've had insomnia is 4 days and nights.  I was literally falling down anywhere, any place.  It wasn't pretty smile

      Thank you for reaching out to me, Elizabeth and allowing me to lean on you when in need.  I extend the same to  you as well.  I am a good listener!

      You take care and have a good day!

      Warmly,

      Frustrated

      ps, feel free to PM me as well smile

       

  • yarbie35
    yarbie35 frustrated61

    Posted

    Frustrated,

      I am so sorry that you are suffering, and are in terrible pain. I do not have the diseases that you have, but suffer from a disease called Interstitial cystitis. It has made me feel that way a lot. The pain of IC is so bad that so many people have commited suicide over it. I too have six children and six grand-children and often think of them when I get those feelings, that and my faith. I never will forget one time I was screaming at my pain doctor appointment, and he came in. I was in so much pain, I looked at him and said please doctor I just do not want to live anymore. Something he said that day stuck with me all these years. He said "Where is your faith." I have remembered that to this day and everytime I think about that it comes into my mind. I know it is so scary to have feelings like this especially when you are in so much pain and get scared. The pain that I have is such a scary kind of pain. Anyway, yes I have done this and still from time to time think this, but then that pops into my mind, and I start thinking like you did about my children and grand-children. May God be with you in this time of need. Take care and God bless.

  • yarbie35
    yarbie35 frustrated61

    Posted

    Also, yes when ever I am in a lot of pain I try to think good thoughts even though it is hard I know, and try to do something to where it will take my mind off of the pain for a little bit. Sit in a hot bath, or play some kind of game online, and anything else I can do to keep my mind off of the pain.
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