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I am sorry if this is a lot but I need to get this out and maybe get some advice.
I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. About a month into seeing each other he told me about his depression. Although I had not seen him really bad yet I had suspected he had something going on.
Since then things have gone downhill. He seems to be getting worse and wont get help. He will go a week where he locks himself away in his room and wont answer my texts or calls. When this had happened in the past I would go to his place after a few days of silence and he would let me in and things would get better. But this last time he didnt. Three days in a row I went to his place and he let me stand outside waiting without letting me in. Finally it seemed like he was coming out of it because he was interacting with friends and even managed to go out one night but still had me at a distance. When I was finally able to see him and we talked he told me he didn't know if he loved me anymore and that I just feel like a burden to him. I tried not to take it personal and told him that I dont think he should make any drastic decisions while he is depressed.
We had plans to go away for the holiday to visit family. I didnt know if we were going to go until the day before. I told him that if we didnt go together then there was no coming back from that and we were over because then our families would be involved. He ultimately decided he wanted to go on the trip together and everything seemed great while we were away. But then we came back and he still hasn't told me he loves me and he is having issues being affectionate with me, he cant even kiss me goodnight. I want to believe that him deciding to go on the trip together is a sign that he does still love me. But its so hard to know because he is so good at faking happy.
To those of you with depression: can being in a bad depression make you unsure about love?
To those of you with a significant other with depression: have any of you gone through anything like this before?
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