Depressed boyfriend ghosting me

Posted , 3 users are following.

Hey everyone,

I need your help and opinions on this. I have been dating my bf for over a year now, and I knew he had severe depression since the moment we first started dating. He seemed completely "normal" when we first met because he said he was just coming out of a deep depression period. Everything had been fine but it got worse with COVID and he would sometimes talk to me less during that period because he was stressed.

However, everything just went really bad recently when I had to move back home for some months because of personal issues and we are unable to see each other. We agreed to continue long distance since I will eventually go back. We have tried and everything seemed fine but approximately a month ago he started gradually disappearing and talking to me less. He expressed that he missed me a lot and he didn't know how to confront being away from me but he did not want to break up. Also, he started back again in school while also working, for which he was nervous. He stopped talking to me 3 weeks ago and his messages have been scarce (2 in the last 3 weeks). I recently sent him a message telling him we need to talk because he did not explain what's going and we should probably break up, and he has not answered. I have even tried being nice and sending encouraging messages but still.... no answer.

I am getting very anxious since I cannot differentiate between him just being very depressed or ghosting me because he's done with me. I have decided to not text him anymore since being left on read is hurtful. What do you think of this situation? How can I tell if he's doing this because he doesn't care about me or it's his depression? Until when should I wait to finally just say we're over. I do love him a lot and all I asked from him was to communicate, but he has failed even to do that. 😦

0 likes, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • Posted

    Important to mention he has been almost completely MIA from any social media (not online) and only seen him playing videogames. I really try to understand what he's going through but since he's just ghosting me and not giving any explanations I think he just wants me to leave

  • Edited

    unfortunately you may already have your answer. By him not communicating he obviously does not want to talk. Even if he is depressed he would still reach out to you if he was still interested.and the reason may not be anything about you. It may just be that if he is depressed, he can’t be in a relationship when he himself can’t give at this time. he may just want to be alone right now or he has moved on

    . Regardless, he’s not reaching out so my advice would be to stop trying to communicate with him. It would’ve been nice if he were to just to be honest with you but that didn’t happen.

    it really doesn’t matter whether he’s doing this because of depression or because he doesn’t want to talk to you . The point is that he’s not responding to you. he wants to be left alone. if it were me, it would be my time to MoveOn .

    you would be better off finding somebody who is truly ready for a relationship. take care

    • Posted

      Thank you very much @jan34534 I have stopped trying and will just concentrate in moving on. I guess if he wishes to end things in a proper way when he's better he will contact me

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