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I'm not sure where to start with this so i'll just say i'm a male around the late 20's mark. I used to live life with my foot to the floor, every minute of every day I was doing somthing. I derived a lot of enjoyment from sport.
Anyway around 2 years ago I suffered a sports related spinal injury. It wasn't actually anything life changing. However it was 24/7 pain and I coudn't do much at all, occasionally I coudn't move for it. Physically things have improved vastly, I'm just about reaching recovery now but i'm not even close to where I was.
All that ive i've been sinking slowly in depression, some days worse than others. For a while now, i've just lost interest in hobbies, people, everything. All the colour has drained from the world and it's just grey.
My mind its just turning over, idling away. Not complex though, nothing. I don't do anything, when I think about doing things I plan them and when it comes to it I never have the will/motivation or interst to do them, despite enjoying them before. I feel tired all the time, despite being rested.
I don't want to see anyone or do anything, it's like a asphyxiating blanket. I don't smile, I just exist.
I tried to boost my energy with coffee etc, didn't change anthing. Occasionally somthing will break through the surface and i'll get a laugh although it's very short lived.
I'm well aware my problems both what I went through and this depression are mild by comparison to what others experiance.
The accident happened right at the end of my studies at University and smashed my confidence to peices. I haven't got a job since leaving Uni 2 years ago, it was impossible before. It's possible now but I'm getting rejection emails for jobs weekly.
I haven't had a gf in a very long time, I'm not even interested in women or persuing any kind of relationship right now anyway.
I don't want to see or do anything with my friends either.
All emotion seems... muted. They say you're supposed to bounce back, i'm not exactly sure how much 'bounce' I have left. Some of the darker thoughs have flittered through my mind.
It's a slow spiral and it seems very difficult to pull up and get out of.
Well i'm sure all those ramblings don't make much sense but it's how i've been feeling for a while now and I think it needed to come out actually.
Any advice to break the cycle would be useful. Thanks.
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