Depressed for a while but been crying for hours

Posted , 5 users are following.

I just turned 21 2 months ago and recently become unemployed for the first time in a long time, Im qualified for all the positions I've applied for but haven't gotten any responses and it's really messing with my depression, that and a mix of not getting help or positivity from my family. I've been crying for 2 days lost 15 lbs over the last couple months and my mom doesn't seem to care, she works at a mental health clinic but will push me to the side all the time. She'll see me crying and instead of asking or checking on me she'll avoid me so she doesn't have to deal with it. I literally haven't even peeked my head outside in 2 days, I have no energy to shower or brush my teeth. I don't know what I need but I need something.. positivity? advice. I have no one as you can see that's why I turned to this forum, I can't stop crying my head and chests hurts 

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8 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Dani,

    Sorry to hear about your unemployment, losing a job can be a traumatic experience. So much of our personal prestige and sense of self worth is tied into our occupation, we can get very depressed when we lose that.

    I understand where you are coming from and I've been that depressed myself. Not over losing employment-I've been fortunate to have a good job all of my life (I'm 64 next week!). But I've been depressed over other things.

    The best thing you can do for yourself at this time is try and keep your regular routine-bathing, brushing teeth, keeping up with your general hygiene. Try and get out and expend energy, even if it's only walking. Keep yourself in 'fighting trim'. You sound like an intelligent woman, so I'm sure something will come along pretty soon-in the meantime keep yourself in good shape physically and mentally. Don't skip meals and DO try and keep regular sleep hours and get some good rest.

    Exercise, diet, sleep and therapy if you have access to it can keep you feeling better about yourself. Remember, lots of good people out there lose a job now and then. It happens, just don't let it impact your confidence in your abilities. I'm a pretty good judge of character and you read like somebody that's going to land on her feet pretty soon. In the meantime, take care of YOU. Good luck!

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    • Posted

      Wow! Thanks Phil I appreciate you taking your time to reply back to me this website was a last resort type thing and having someone respond back to me brought a smile across my face. I really thank you for your kind words, I've been fighting depression since I was 16 and I feel with age it comes and goes but it's more intense than it used to be (I am officially 5 years self harm clean though, woot woot!). Reading your response is like you knew what I was going through without knowing me, I'm gonna pray these few days get better and take all the advice you have given me. You're awesome.

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  • Posted

    Hi dani65051 - sorry to read you are suffering in this way. You haven't mentioned whether you have received any treatment for depression. I am astounded that with your mum working in the mental health profession she has not taken this matter seriously and arranged help for you - but you are 21 and deemed a responsible adult. I would suggest you see your doc asap, describe what is happening and seek help that way. Medications may be prescribed which will take 3-6 weeks to work. Your mood will lift and balance. Meds for depression are best used with therapy which will deal with any underlying issues such as trauma, childhood issues etc. that cause recurrent depressive disorders and episodes. Knowledge is power and part of our job as people living with the pain of depression is to understand the how and why of it.

    I had a mother who was cruelly indifferent to me yet doted on my twin brother. I tried everything to break that barrier down. Even as i howled in agony at the emotional mess and teetered on the edge of suicide, i STILL did not get any response or  reason for what she chose to do. In the end i understood that not only did she not have the answer for me, she didn't have the capacity (backbone) to acknowledge or apologise, and that it didn't matter what answer was given it wouldn't change anything. 

    Make an appointment with the doc today. You are your best advocate and you are not alone. We are always here to talk.

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    • Posted

      Hey, Wayne. I have received treatment for my depression, bipolar disorder and anxiety but when things like this happen it's very hard to be positive.  My mother is the same as yours as she favors my older brother who also has severe depression (worse than mine) it's the worst seeing him get the help but having to beg for someone to help me. I am deemed a responsible adult but living in a rural town in Arizona with no public transportation and no vehicle (at the moment) it's hard to do anything, on a bad day it's 115 and on a good day it's 100, I also have heart problems so it makes it hard for me to get out and walk places or ride bicycles, it's a constant drag of trying to be positive without being able to move. Today's better than yesterday and all of your kind words has helped me breathe and feel like I'm not alone. Thank you Wayne, love & light to you as I try to find my own <3

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  • Posted

    Hi Dani

    I can only echo what has been said in your other excellent replies,

    It might be a good idea to go and see your GP. He/She will evaluate your condition and may prescribe anti depressants. If this is the case, bear in mind they take 6-8 weeks to reach their full effect.

    From what you have said I think the loss of your job is the main reason for your depression. Have you considered voluntary work until you are able to find a proper job. At the very least it will give you some satisfaction that you are doing something positive in your life.

    Best wishes Heartbleed

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    • Posted

      Heart bleed,

       I'm looking into volunteering but for now I'm just setting little accomplishments for myself (doing the dishes, showering, painting my nails) and even though they seem like nothing they make me feel like I'm doing something. My depression is very much caused by my job situation but it got worse when my bestfriend got killed in the Pulse nightclub terrorist attack nearly 2 years ago, it's hard for me to explain where it stems from but like Phil said it's a mix of my childhood, the present and work. I'm trying to stay positive. I got a call back to the job I applied for as a teacher so high hopes it goes well, again all of your encouragement has helped me. Thank you Heartbleed for taking your time to give me insight. 

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  • Posted

    Hi Dani, you are an adult, see a doctor without your mother's consent, it's not her choice tell her it's hormone problems and smile and say you'll be fine on your own with your doctor. I can understand you if like me your mother's doctor is your doctor, I had to do this when my mother swept the fact that I was raped twice under the carpet! Admit you need help to your doctor and if you can't remember what you say write it down. Let us know how you get on and if you can't do this alone take a friend, you will probably get work when you least expect it. Concentrate on you 1st.x

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