Posted , 3 users are following.
My dad owned a house for 9 years. He had a gambling problem and could not afford to pay the bond anymore. My sister bought the house from him for the price he paid. She lived in this house with her husband for one year. She then had problems with my parents and decided to sell the house. She approached me to buy it for double of what she paid. I was not too keen considering I wasnt earning a good salary. I couldnt get a bond from the bank and I asked her to drop her price. She then dropped the price just a little. I eventually got a bond after loads of hassles. I then allowed my mum and dad to live there while my husband, son and I still live with my inlaws like we did for many years. We only asked me dad to pay for water, lights and rates. We never asked him to pay anything towards the bond or charge him rent. I lived with my mum in law and brother in law for 11 years. My son is 9 and have been living with my husband and I in the basement of my mum in laws yard. We had our own space ie. a room, a small kitchen area, toilet and bath. It was 2 rooms. One room was a dark room with no windows. The other room has windows but poor ventilation. Our house had a "damp" smell due to this. Our clothing also had a "damp" smell if not used and washed regularly. My son, husband and I used to sleep in one Queen sized bed as the backroom was used for storing our stuff. We did use the backroom as a bedroom before but had to move all our stuff to the front room as when it rained the backroom would flood. We had to throw out lots of furniture etc.due to this happening. This is why we now used it for storage and not for sleeping anymore. My kitchen sink packed up and I had to wash dishes outside for 6 months (in Winter also). Our next door neighbours who is my husband's cousin got married and moved in. My husband and I could not park our cars in their yard anymore as there was space only for their vehicles so we had to park our cars down the road in my other neighbours yard. My husband last year decided its time we moved becos of all these problems. I told him we cannot move as parents are living in our house and we could not move elsewhere and pay rent and a bond. He then suggested we spilt the house and give my parents two rooms. One would be a kitchen and the other would be a bedroom and he would do renovations to make them a bathroom and toilet which he then did. My parents then had no choice but to agree to this. My family and I then moved in last year September. Even though my husband said its time to move he kept stalling. We were supposed to move in June 2014 but only ended up moving in September. I think deep down he really didnt want to move at all considering he lived with his family all of his 40 years on earth. The very first day we moved my mum had a panic attack and said she cannot live in such a small place. I felt so bad and guilty that I put them in this situation. I didnt know what to do. I always all my life wanted to live on my own with my husband and son away from the inlaws and now it came true but I was unhappy cos my parents were unhappy. I didnt know what to do. My husband said we could move back home but I said we cannot. I made a mistake by saying this. I should have moved back home the very next day but I was selfish. I didnt think about my parents. I only thought of myself and how finally I am away from my mum in law as she never liked me from day one. Well, after a month my mum moved out permantely to live with my sister who just had a baby. My mum refused to come back home. She packed all her stuff and left. My dad didnt know what to do and in December 2014 he sold all his furniture and moved to Jhb to live with my other sister. I feel so guilty, I cry everytime I speak to my parents becos they are now living apart becos of us moving. They complain and blame us for moving and disrupting their peaceful lives. My husband says that once they go they must not come back. My dad wants to come back to live in the section we gave them but my mum refuses. I don't know how to deal with this. I ruined my family's life. Everyone blames me now, cousins, sisters, relatives, neighbours etc. How do I live the rest of my life with this guilt. I am so depressed. I have been to psychiatrists, psychologists etc. who says I am not to blame but I feel guilty living day in and day out in that house that reminds me that it was once my parents home until I came into the picture. My husband refuses to sell the house. My husband and son refuses to go back and live with my mum in law. I miss my old house living with my mum in law and brother in law. I really complained about the terrible conditions in which we were living for many years. Little did I know that I should have been grateful as I was happy then. Now I have a big house with fancy furniture etc. but I am unhappy. When I had nothing I was happier than I am now. I beg my husband and son to either sell the house or go back home and they said they are happier in the new place and that they will never leave. When they first moved they didnt like the new place. After a week they wanted to go back home but I told them to stay and give this place a chance. I wish I didnt say that becos now I want to leave but they don't. What do I do ? To top it all off I developed Tinnitus while 4 months pregnant but you can read that story in the Tinnitus section. Just two weeks ago our house was broken into and my parents lived there for so long but no one broke into the house. It seems our bad luck started when we moved and it does not seem to be ending. Just two days ago my car was broken into also at work. It's too much for me to deal with !!! I feel as if God is punishing me for putting my parents in the situation they are in right now.
2 likes, 15 replies