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Hi all, about two months ago i had a horrible problem with my boyfriend out of nowhere and this has caused a period of depression and anxiety. I've been over-thinking and searching up everything (odd symptoms, questions about my relationship, weird feelings and questions, etc.) and obsessing over my relationship. It feels as if someone is putting weird questions and thoughts that are against my beliefs in my head and I feel extremely uncomfortable in my own skin and head. I have weird impulsions to do things and for some reason I don't do them. These things include breaking up with my boyfriend, not getting up and going to work/school, and saying weird things to people when they pop up in my head. I have forgotten what it feels like to be normal and even experience moments where everything feels fake and it scares me. Went to a therapist last week and i have decided that im NOT going to take medication. She said that im having acute symptoms of depression and anxiety. Since there was a trigger, im assuming that there is some psychological correlation with how im feeling that can be fixed in my mind. I miss being careless and free, especially in my relationship , but I know im going to get out of this. This might be due to some unresolved trauma from my dad leaving and divorcing my mom out of nowhere when I was little that i never dealt with but it doesn't hurt me at all so I dont know if thats it. I have even at time convinced myself that i dont have depression or anxiety but am giving myself an excuse for feeling so bad when in reality i am just falling out of love. Also i have had many panic attacks that DRAIN me completely. This anxiety and depression has changed everything and i hate it. I cant imagine getting better after this or being "normal". I know this is all over the place, but if anyone has any advice or has been through something similar, some kind words would be greatly appreciated.
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