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My issue is not with myself really but here is my story. I ended a long term relationship and an engagement about 18 months ago and took some time off traveling to clear my head. While traveling I met a guy who had taken a year off himself. He was living in HK then and about to move back to UK. We both continued with our travels in separate ways and caught up again when we both returned to the UK.
We started seeing each other more as over the next few months, but I felt he could never commit to me. He always kept things very casual. But he was someone I really enjoyed being with and I liked him a lot.
That was until he suffered a panic attack this past Feb and then a nervous breakdown in March, where he spent the first 5 months literally crippled by the nervous breakdown. He described it as his brain being in fight or flight mode during this time. Once he got over the nervous breakdown, the depression kicked in. He has been getting professional help all this time and has spent a significant amount of time in counseling and was at points in care homes. I have been there to help him along with his family to help him in whatever way I can to encourage him and get him over this process.
Over the last month, he has been more back to his normal self, and I can see he is working hard to overcome everything he is going through. He told me he is working through his issues to find himself, trying to improve and become a better person, and not land back to the person he was six months ago. I was really happy to hear that.
While I started this discussion with saying that he cannot commit to me at the start of our “relationship”, through my help to him during his nervous breakdown and depression, I have become his full pledged girlfriend, which he no longer has issues telling his friends or family. I am not going to deny that part of me is generally happy to be his girlfriend, but another part of me is scared where this relationship is going.
I am not going to deny that I have become highly vested in this person emotionally. Having seen the pain he has suffered, I long to help him through whatever he is going through and see him happy soon. But having had some talks with him about his problems, he has admitted to me that it is a long road to recovery, and that this is something that will plague him his whole life and he will probably be on antidepressants his whole life too. If I was to follow my heart, I would really want to continue this relationship and start my new life in London with him, but I am very scared he will hurt me in the end. A few of my friends keep on reminding me that this is the time for him to sort out his head and what he wants in life, and I should let him do that independently. Some have warned me that he might be using me as an emotional crutch. But my heart is also too weak to end things with him when he is going through what he is going through. This is a time when he needs all the emotional support he can get.
So I am just very confused with the whole situation. I would appreciate any impartial advice to this whole situation.
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