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recently i have found myself to be completely different from how i was say a year ago. i find myself crying at nights because i feel so small and unrelevent, i question my exsistance everyday and constantly feel horrible. i sleep for almost days on end because its like the easiest thing i can do. i am 15 years old and have removed myself from education because of the way people these day treat me and make me feel. im always feeling self concious and unworthy, i have no idea what to do?! i threw my mobile away because of fear of the people i could call friends. the only human interaction i get is from family and social work, which i guess is not healthy. i stay with my mum but we really don't get on in the slightest, which hurts me. i want out of the town i stay in as i feel trapped here, i feel i have no place in this world. i mean, where am i going to end up in a few years with no qualifications or social skills? before, i would stay out for hours after my curfew, most times the police would get involved and i couldn't have a care in the world. but then i guess i realised i was hurting the people i loved the most because of a group of people threw me so far off my path, now i am sitting here wondering what to do with my life as i fear there is nothing there, whereas these people are still in school, yes they may not behaving but at least the'll get somewhere. but all i here is 'jasmine, why can't you just man up and go to school?'
and i just guess i have no answer, i cant go to the shops without wanting to go home, let alone go to a school where i hate everyone there!! i'm wondering if anyone who reads this can give me advice? i'm so fed up of feeling this way, i think i'm loosing my mind. i've not been out properly for almost 6 months!!!! thanks for reading.
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