Depression

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hi everyone i'm trevor and i'm 22 years old .

Living with Major Depression for 1 year 3months and i ddint even know until my cousin (who is a nurse and studies psychology ) saw my symptoms (attitude) and she asked questions that lead to where she told me i had depression nd i denied it (cause i didnt know ) and so i told her i wanna see a more qaulified doctor , so we went and he asked me more questions and finally he asked me if i have ever tried to end my life and i couldnt say no cause i almost did 2 times .

Finally on march 3rd 2016 i was diagnosed with Major Depression and Server anxiety , i couldnt belive that this was being told to me and i denied it at first but a few minutes later i realized how my life had changed alot for the last one year 3months and so i cried like its was raining cause i was too shocked and asked god why ? and so its been almost a whole month now ive been taking fluoxetin which is an antidepressant though it helps me get out more of my bed but i now cant feel anything anymore (emotionally numb) .

And the worst part is that i havent even told my parents yet and though we live togther i secretly take my pills .Now i feel like i have no future cause i cant imagine myself in one. I tried to watch as many sad movies as i can to make me cry i still cant and recentlly my uncle died and i felt nothing and i'm too afraid of losing myself more in any way ! Remebering simple task or even trying to attempt them is getting soooo hard .

Should i stop taking my pills ? Should i end my life ? i dont know what to do ........

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  • Posted

    Dear Trevor024542, I have been suffering depression for a few years. It is only recently that my depression has got worse.in the last few weeks. I do not take any pills. I have thought of ending my life, but I have decided againest ending my life for the pure fact that I can do so much more in my life. 

    My depression started when both my parents died within two days of each other. That was nine years ago. They were both still young. My mother was a year older then my father she was 62 years old and my Father was 61 years. My Father died first on Thursday the 7 of March 2007 and my Mother died on the 9th of March 2007. It has been so hard.

    I have learnt that you do not want o end your life.I learnt that from my parents. All they done is was worked all their lifes. They did not travel or anything  You are still young. Enjoy your life. I am going to be 50 years old this year I have started travelling thethe world. I have paid my house off and I have no debits. I am trying to enjoy life know.

    You should enjoy life at your age..

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  • Posted

    Trevor you have to go to your doctor and get some help right away.

    You cannot hide away and bury your head in the sand

    Depression is a nasty illness and you need help

    Please get some

    Stay strong

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  • Posted

    Sometimes a lot of antidepressants make you feel way worse before anything gets better so don't stop taking them. You have to give them time if in another few weeks you still feel worse go talk to your doctor maybe you need a different dosage or a different medicine. I suffer from the same thing and I am currently on day 5 of Celexa and feel so much worse than I did when I had reached my breaking point and broke down. It will get better. Also its a good idea to tell your parents you need all the support you can get. Yes they'll probably watch you like a hawk in fear but it shows that they love you and don't want you to feel bad. And no don't end your life I'm not sure where you stand with God but I'm a believer and I don't think He put us here to suffer and die. This is a terrible storm you've came across and it will get better with time. I hope I helped a little and I don't mean any offense but I said a prayer for you.
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