Depression and anxiety

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I have suffered many years with depression and anxiety on and off but I have been deep into a downer now for a month or two I have tried everything I can think of to push myself back up with no improvement.

i wake in the morning feeling low and find it difficult to motivate myself to get moving( but I do function and do all I should do) I feel I have no one to talk to or confide in as my parter is very unhelpful and to be truthful makes me feel worse.

i will not take anti depressants as I feel they do not help long term

i am stuck in the relationship as I am now over 60 we have a house together and I am stuck here.

sometimes I wonder if it's just cos I'm getting older I feel so down yet I'm active apart from the usual aches and pains nothing major.

so what I need are some coping methods any one got any ideas?

sorry this has been a bit of a rant.......

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11 Replies

  • Posted

    Hello Sally,

    I'm sorry to hear that you have been suffering from depression. I don't have all the answers but I wouldn't rule out medication... Here are my ideas or suggestions which might help:

    1. Do you drink ANY coffee or tea...or colas or energy drinks with caffeine in them? If so, cut them out.They can interfere with deep, restorative sleep.

    2. Can you more or less go to bed with the sun? Turn the lights low in your home as the sun goes down and turn off the TV and computer as early as possible. These bright lights prevent your brain from making melatonin which causes sleepiness..again leading to a restful restorative sleep. Go to bed early, wake up early is a good remedy.

    3. Get out in the light during the day. Bright light goes through your eyes into your pineal gland in the brain and lifts your mood. Don't wear sunglasses if you can manage without in order to allow light into your eyes. At home open the curtains, turn on the lights; anything to be in mood lifting brightness. This has been proven scientifically.

    4. Get exercise every day in order to work off your tension. Read up on the internet about how exercise is such an excellent stress and depression buster.

    5. Omega 3 and vitamin D, both we do not get enough of are great stress busters.

    6. You may want to speak to your holistic practitioner about the so called 'natural' anti-depressant, St John's Wort. But check with your doctor to make sure it doesn't interfere wth any other medications you might be on. In some cases they can enhance or diminish the effects.

    6. Eat lots of vegetables....some raw, others cooked. Your plate should be colourful...NOT beige.

    7. And last but not least, I suggest you take magnesium glycinate before bed. Speak to your pharmacist about it. It is a calcium and any excess goes out in your urine, like vitamin C. Magnesium is something most of us are deficient in. Read up on it on the internet and you will see that there is a magnesium deficiency/anxiety connection. 

    Read up on any of the suggestions above (always before you try anything) such as St John's Wort. One of my favourite sites is the world renowned Mayo Clinic. If you google 'Mayo Clinic St John's Wort' you will see that they say that it is often as effective as SSRIs and other anti-depressants. The Mayo Clinic (in the US) is my go-to site for medical information. I also like Dr. Weil. He tends toward lifestyle and natural remedies, including yoga and meditation (which is not for me...but great for others)...but he also believes in conventional medicine as well. He is a doctor after all...

    Good luck, Sally!


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    • Posted

      Thanks for your reply as I have felt so alone

      i will try some of your suggestions and some I have already tried

      i can't take St. John's wort as it clashes with my medication but it did work on a previous bout of depression

      thanks Robin 

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    • Posted

      I read somewhere about magnesium and also omega 3 fish oil but I think you never know what to try ,but it just might work and I have read so many bad write ups on anti depressants and also a bad experiance on Prozac many years ago that I will avoid them at all costs

      I will have a word with my doctor as she is open to alternative treatment when I next see her

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  • Posted

    Hi Sally

    my counsellor often tells me - you don't need to apologise for expressing how you are feeling.

    Do you have a nice GP? Might be worth talking to him/her to see if counselling might be an option?

    i find gardening has really helped me. somehow weeding and watching things grow is amazingly therapeutic. it also gets me outdoors and provides some  exercise.

    good luck

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    • Posted

      Thanks for your reply I had counselling after my mum died and found it very intrusive and upsetting so I don't think it's for me.

      think your right about getting outside though and getting busy I do try to be occupied and it does help

      eecially with the lovely sun at the moment 

      thanks again

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    • Posted

      I don't think I hit it off with her

      when she asked me how I felt when my mum died and I started to cry she just kept pushing for more things I didn't want to talk about

      i said I wanted to die when she did and she just seemed to intrude on what I feel is a private matter I'm trying to deal with in my own way

      and I can tell you it has put me off going down that route

      i have a CBT app on my ipad that I fill in when I feel particularly dire and that does seem to help

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  • Posted

    Hi Sally,

    Sorry to hear you have been suffering for so long.

    I see Robin & Dambudzo have already given you some good advice and certainly worth a try.

    I'm glad to hear that even though your finding it hard to motivate, your still pushing yourself to get up and do the things you need to do, so well done for that and keep it up!

    I know it can be most difficult to do even the simplist things when your feeling depressed.

    Have you thought about taking up a new hobby? Something that you enjoy, and gives you something to look forward to.

    People who have never suffered with depression can often find it hard to understand, and men can be very insensitive (but not all)

    Anti depressants are not actually ment for long term, they might help you feel a bit better, until you are feeling a bit better, you should speak to your gp about it.

    I hope things start to improve for you soon, take care x

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    • Posted

      Thanks for taking the time to reply

      i am finding it difficult to get into my old hobbies that I enjoyed before the depression but your idea of starting a new one sounds promising so I will give that a try

      i used to have such enthusiasm  for hobbies and life in general that this person I am now seems alien  to me...

      where did my happy go lucky persona go?

      i can't understand and feel I will never be like that again

      i am not ungrateful I know many people much worse off than me but no matter how many times I tell myself I am lucky to be only depressed I find it hard to convince myself....Sally 

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    • Posted

      Hi Sally,

      I find that is one of my most common thoughts, that i don't understand why i am like this, although mine does seem to be alot to do with a hormone imbalance.

      You say you have been worse in the last month or 2, is there anything you can think of that has happened or changed in your life?

      Sometimes it can be something very simple, for example you have been cutting out a certain food type, so could be a certain vitiamin defficency.

      Also do you have any pets?

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