depression and anxiety for months - leave the area?

Posted , 5 users are following.

my life for the last 4 months has been a living hell.   It all began  a few years ago when I met a beautiful charming lady who I fell for in a way I had never felt before,  She said I was her soul mate and made me feel so special, We moved in together within 2 months, married in 6 months and had a baby a few months later.  For both of us it was our second marriage.  I gave up my career to work with her full time on her business which we grew 10 fold,  But at the end of 2012 the relationship began to change.  A gradually intensifying cycle of emotional and at times physical abuse began and continued until the beginning of this year.  I think I realised a while back that I might have married a narcissist / sociopath but by the time I realised we were married wirh a baby and I was trapped.  It was too late and I just hoped thinngs would get better.  I should have seen the warning signs much earlier; self obessed, constantly craving attention, always buying new clothes and then the critiscism and attempts to isolate me from my family and friends.  I found out that she was having an affair with a client but was too scared to confront her,  When I finally confronted her about her behaviour at the beginning of this year she left me with our child.  She took out an injunction and threw me out of the business.  She filed for divorce.  The loss of contact with my child and isolation from work, together with her telling anyone who would listen that I was abusive and she was the victim threw me into a deep depression,  It started with insomnia but within 4 weeks I ended up in hospital for over a month being treated for depression and anxiety.  I left the clinic a few weeks ago but am getting no better. Because of her profession she is highly credible and believable, presenting herself as the victim.  We have no direct contact but whenever I face her in court I have a terror and an aftershock that feels like PTSD. I have an overwhelming urge to get through the divorce and move a long way from the area to avoid any contact with her.  But my agony is the impact this would have on my young child and our future relationship, as we would probably only see each other half the holidays.  Yet, I am no good to him if I am like this.  I am having counselling and medication but it just doesn't seem to be helping.  Has anyone had a similar experience? Any advice?

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    David

    You have been through so much and you are dealing with it.

    Yes its going to be difficult but keep your eye on the goal,get yourself better.

    It will be hard not to have your child in your life everyday but look forward to seeing him.

    Dont let this domineering woman wreck your life anymore.

    You are doing everything right my friend.

    Talk to your family and friens about things dont let it build up.

    Its great your in therapy to

    This forum is excellent for advise or just to sound off.

    You are not alone David

    Stay Strongconfused

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  • Posted

    They have advocte groups to help you. Look into it. 
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  • Posted

    I've had some nasty prolonged break ups with exs but not as shocking  as this. Sorry to see you suffering like that.

    rich

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  • Posted

    Hi, David...I'm so sorry to hear that you are suffering like this.  I am a lot older, and my kids are all grown up, but I'm in a similar situation.  It would take too long to explain on here, but I am totally miserable.  My love of 15 yrs. has had a complete change of personality.  He comes over and helps me around the house, but I know he has someone else because he says a few things to give me hints.  This has happend to be two times before and I just can't take it anymore.  I swore the last time that I was never going to fall in love again, but, like an idiot...I let myself love...From now on, I'm going to just love my three doxie dogs and men are out of my life.  I hope you feel better on this board where we have all had things like this happen to us.  Hang in there, sweetie, and I will try to, also....xxoo...
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  • Posted

    Your story sounds similar to mine, David.  I've stayed with my "narcissist" for 45 years and just now making a plan to get out and away, far away.  Mine has threatened my well being so I think putting as much distance between me and him is the best bet.  However, you have a child involved that you want and need in your life.  You just need to learn how to separate yourself emotionally from her and be the best father you can be to your child.  Don't let her destroy your relationship with him like mine did.  Let him see the kind of father and man you are and ignore her.  Her influence on you for so long is the reason for your depression and trauma.  Over time that should subside as long as you keep her out of your life and perhaps some day you will have a healthy relationship with someone and more kids if you want.  You know what a narcissist looks like now so you know what to avoid.  Your life ends where the narc's begins.  Remember that.  Hang in there. 
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