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Depression and anxiety messing with feeling love

Posted , 7 users are following.

marta133
marta133

Hi guys,

I really need some perspective here. I've been with my girlfriend for almost 6 months now and everything was beyond perfect. I never fell for anyone this hard.

 

3 weeks ago we went on a vacation and 2 days before we went I felt my mood kinda drop , I was tired and just not feeling too much. For the first time ever I thought I might be losing feelings for her because I didnt get that spark feeling when she kissed me once ( Im aware of how stupid that is) and was able to just let that go and i didnt dwell on it. I was still very happy with her. Until one day at the vacation we were in our room and we were about to have sex  (before we got into a small argument and she said that she's gonna try and make it better and for some reason that made me panicky) and I wasnt really feeling it so I stopped it and told her that I've been feeling kinda numb and weird these past few days and we had a long long talk and we fell asleep happy. I remember thinking I love this girl ,Im not letting her go , before falling asleep.

 

The thing is..the next morning I woke up with this sinking feelings and an anxiety attack 'you dont love her anymore, you dont love her,' and ever since then i cant feel anything but anxiety. I couldnt even enjoy our vacation because everything felt weird. The nature and the seaside would usually make me so happy but i felt nothing but anxiety and sadness. Every morning Id wake up with an anxiety attack and i would sob to her and I told her excatly how i was feeling.

 

When we got back from vacation and we seperated I reazlied im extremely depressed. My whole world felt like it collapsed, i was out with friends and i couldnt stop thinking about her . Constantly trying to figure out how one anxiety attack took away all my feelings and why I couldnt calm down anymore. Being with friends- i felt disconnected, i felt like i was in a different dimension and I just really wanted to see her. When I saw her later that day I felt a bit better but the depression was there and everything felt so weird.

 

3 days ago I got put on medication for anxiety and depression and I hope to God this helps. Its very confusing in my head right now..Shes always in the center of it. Its always like Im trying to find those feelings and when i dont feel it i get so anxious and sad. I look at our pictures and cry because I remember how happy I was just 3 weeks ago. So happy and in love like never before.  Now it feels like all the love has been replaced by anxiety and sadness.  I dont know how to cope anymore. Every morning I wake up with that sinking feeling and everytime Im with her I feel the absense of my feelings and it makes me so sad. I get panick attacks, I get so angry at myself.

 

It got to a point where I even broke up with her cause I thought the anxiety was a sign i didnt love her anymore but I felt even worse.

My question is; do you think its the depression and anxiety? What could this be? I know what it feels like not to be in love and this doesnt feel like it. I still find her super attractive and we even have sex when my anxiety isnt too much and its amazing. I still like holding her and kissing her and all that its just that my thoughts NEVER STOP so i can never FULLY relax anymore. Im beyond heartbroken by this..I just want my feelings back, i dont want to lose my baby.

2 likes, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • Aspinan
    Aspinan marta133

    Posted

    Hi Marta, it's quite a common thing to feel "out of love" when depressed and anxious, I've seen it a few times on this forum, when you start to feel better your feelings will return to normal.

    Hope this helps. Neil 

    • marta133
      marta133 Aspinan

      Posted

      Thank you so much for saying that! I really want everything back to the way it was. 
  • stella58218
    stella58218 marta133

    Posted

    Marta I've general anxiety disorder and a few weeks ago I had a similar feeling towards my husband who I love more than anything! I was just sitting in my living room one day and looked at him and questioned myself did I even love him, which of course I really do! Depression and anxiety can really make you think the worst and strangest things! It's just your mind working overtime! You probably need to see your doctor. Take care 

    • marta133
      marta133 stella58218

      Posted

      How do you feel about him now? Is everything back to normal?
    • stella58218
      stella58218 marta133

      Posted

      Yes everything's great! I love my husband to bits! Remember this is your mind due to the depression and anxiety! Give your tablets time to work and I really hope u feel better and can sort things out with your girlfriend 

    • marta133
      marta133 stella58218

      Posted

      That sounds amazing! I know that when the feelings come on back everything will be perfect again, its just a very scary time right nowsad
  • brenda69464
    brenda69464 marta133

    Posted

    I don't know what to say to help.

    Could you be afraid of the next step in your relationship ? Such as commitment , living together, marriage ,family?

    I remember unconsciously sabotaging a relationship; because in my mind I felt that I grew up in a broken home therefore I didn't deserve a normal relationship. Kinda weird but deep down I was afraid of failure . After some sessions in counselling I overcame those fears and am proud to say that I have been in an extremely  happy healthy relationship for over 23 years !

    I don't know if this is any help or not.

    Good Luck

    Oh,by the way I hope your Dr told you that the medication can take up to 6 weeks to have its full effect.

  • neo84880
    neo84880 marta133

    Posted

    Oh my God..! It's like I'm reading my own story here.

    I have exactly same situation now. I know I love her and she knows I love her. Everything was great until I got to know about her pervious relationship. Now that is hunting me like anything. Everyday that picture of them together doing things comes to my mind and I sink in the whirlpool of anxiety and uneasiness which goes on and on.

    I know that it's no big deal. That I should not worry about her previous relationship because it's me who loves me now and no one else. But I just can't help it.

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