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Depression and anxiety ruining my life!

Posted , 8 users are following.

rebecca99923
rebecca99923

Hey guys,

So I've suffered from on and off worrying since I was little and for the past month it has been really bad. I feel like I'm drowning in a pit of depression and worry and I feel like there's no way of ever coming out of it sad

I live a happy life, but my doubts and worries are destroying that. My poor boyfriend is so supportive and I tell him all sorts of things that he sometimes struggles to find the right thing to say. I have been crying on him every night for a month and it's making me worry that he'll get bored and weary of me being so depressed that he'll look else where.. which means I have been getting extra jealous of any girl he comes into contact with (which is only people at work) and I just can't get the worry out of my head that I'm a ticking time bomb and one day he will have had enough sad we've been together over 2 years and he has fancied me for about 6 years so I know he loves me but am I going to push him away?

My expectations of myself are way too high, he works with women our age that are managers and I'm no where near being a manager at my job. That makes me feel inadequate to those women sad

I have a good full time job at John Lewis so I don't know why I worry so much, maybe because I feel like I've been in the company for 2 years and not really progressed anywhere, and my boyfriend has been at his company for a year and is progressing already, although it is much easier to progress at his company.

I just don't know what to do anymore, I'm scared about my health, I've been having tummy problems since this constant worrying and have had to take time off work when it's really bad sad

If anyone could maybe share their story with me, or give their point of view that would be amazing, it would make me feel less alone and give me some hope. I'll probably look into seeing a therapist but I think that would be so embarrassing.... anyway if anyone has taken the time to read this then thank you!!!

Beckie

1 like, 12 replies

12 Replies

  • mimibrenda
    mimibrenda rebecca99923

    Posted

    Hi Beckie,

    So sorry that you are experiencing depression and anxiety.

    There is nothing to be embarassed about seeing a therapist. I think it is a good idea. I am going today to start group therapy myself.

    It sounds like you have a loving boyfriend. Be careful about jealousy. It is bad for both of you.

  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 rebecca99923

    Posted

    Hi rebecca, I am sorry to hear that you are finding life so difficult at the moment, your partner sounds very caring and understanding, he obviously loves you very much...

    It sounds as though you have a good job..but our worth is not valued by our career, it is who we are and how we live our lives...

    It would be a good step forward to see your Dr. Antidepressants can certainly be a great help, and for many a life saver, you can feel happy again, don't lose hope, but I really think that a visit to your Dr...being totally honest just how you feel...

    Therapy can be helpful and your Dr can refer you to one, rather than having to pay to go privately, to a therapist who knows nothing about your medical history....

    Please get some help soon, it is nothing to feel ashamed or embarrassed about, and I am certain !!! That your boyfriend who loves you very much, would be overjoyed to see you happy and smiling again...I wish you all the luck and happiness in the world....big warm hugs, for you...xxxxx

  • rebecca99923
    rebecca99923

    Posted

    Awww thank you so much both of you!! I agree with you, just been chatting to my mum about seeing a doctor and she thinks that's the best thing to do so I'll book an appointment and get over my embarrassment! Take care xxxxxxx

  • Mandoza
    Mandoza rebecca99923

    Posted

    My reply might be a little harsh, but in here we say what we see

    Do not compare yourself to him or to anybody when it comes to work. If you love what you do that is the matter.

    If i were him, i will push you away if i just see whining and not doing anything for your condition and i mean not seeing a therapist. ( I am speaking as if my girl need help but she does not want to realy get help )

    You should see a therapist and all your concern will go away and you will live normal and happy.

    Hope you get better soon

  • carol88419
    carol88419 rebecca99923

    Posted

    Hi Rebecca, i can feel your pain and anxieties.

    I too have suffered anxiety and depression since childhood and all I can say is that it's exhausting, as I'm sure you are aware.

    We tend to beat ourselves up all the time and compare ourselves to others, thinking that we are not good enough and that everyone else is far better, far prettier, more clever, would make a better girlfriend for our partners and the list goes on!

    I still think all of these things on my bad days, but have realised that this  isn't the case at all, it's just our anxieties making us think these things, putting lots of negatives in the way. 

    You seem to have a very supportive and loving partner, which is a bonus, my partner just doesn't seem to understand at all and will keep out of my way instead of comforting me when I am feeling rubbish.

    i have had to learn to slow down and not put myself under so much pressure and have lowered my expectations.

    You need to be kind to yourself, write down a positive about yourself every day until you believe it.  Try and flood all of the negatives out and replace them with positives.  This can be very difficult at first, but it gets easier.  Basically you need to become your very best friend and think about how that best friend would like to be treated.

    Don't give up, keep trying, unfortunately we may have to do this each and every day but I am told it will get easier and easier!

    on a final note, a therapist would be a good idea too.  See your GP for a referal and also discuss medication with them, they both help.

    Good luck

    Carol

  • borderriever
    borderriever rebecca99923

    Posted

    Hello

    It would be a sorry day if you lost this boyfriend after knowing him for so long, All I would really suggest is talk to your GP and explain you need help to bring your life back to a more meaningful state.

    Therapy may help you talk out your concerns and your GP may be able to help and arrange some sessions to get you back on tract

    All I will say is, do not let your Depression and  Anxiety control your life you have an attentive partner who you have grown up together and that is so very rare in these days of lonelyness. Fit for you needs and future

    BOB

  • theresa08238
    theresa08238 rebecca99923

    Posted

    Rebecca,I have learned worrying is a natural tendency however,I find I lose out on precious moments and what I may never happen. I would encourage you to opening ly talk to your boyfriend as he seems like a very supportive person. I also see a commitment to you with the relationship and is understanding of your condition. When I start to worry I ask myself if I can do anything to change the situation at the present moment if not I write it down to tend to at a time in which I can address it. Just an idea to check for support groups in your area he can get support or maybe the two of you could do counseling together. I wish you the best
    • theresa08238
      theresa08238

      Posted

      The National association for mental illness is a great resource and do support groups for loved ones affected by a loved one with mental illness. The association also provides support to indiduals with groups to help get support from others experiencing similar issues. Every state has this and also has a website where you can find resources and a contact telephone number and is toll free. Our state also has a helpline for individuals to simply talk. I wish you the best
  • rebecca99923
    rebecca99923

    Posted

    Thank you all for your help! It's made me feel soo much better, I'm very slowly but surely starting to be myself again.

    Would anyone recommend anti depressants? I've been given them once before and it really messed with my head which is what puts me off...

    • Mandoza
      Mandoza rebecca99923

      Posted

      Antidepressant messes with us before it starts to work. Usually the 3rd week will start to kick in and another few weeks to reach the full benefit.

      Anyeay, that can be decided between you and your doctor. If you need med then talk to your doctor. Med + therapy will be the best. Antidepressant alone will not be enough you will relapes if you stopped them. But if you do both therapy and med, that will be the cure.

  • theresa08238
    theresa08238 rebecca99923

    Posted

    Each person is different and responds differently. Should you decide to start antidepressants I would encourage you to do counseling as well.
  • lisab12
    lisab12 rebecca99923

    Posted

    Hi Rebecca

    It sounds like you have a lovely partner, get the help you deserve before you push him away.

    My partner is now having second thoughts about us having a child together and i feel like this has come about as a result of me suffering a episode of anxiety and depression mid last year. I am consequently on antidepressants which has helped and i see a counsellor but now i am worried it is too late for our relationship. Look after yourself x Lis

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