Depression and anxiety (severe)

Edited , 6 users are following.

hi all my names emily I'm 22 and I'm from UK, my whole journey started with I was getting lack of sleep so went to GP for some sleeping pills,she prescribed me sertraline, and ever since then I had a major reaction to the sertraline and my life has never been the same since, even though I've not taken sert since november last year, I've been put on so far, mirtazepine for 4 weeks which failed to work, then citalopram, I've been on 10mg for weeks, then 20mg for 5 weeks, now 30mg for almost 7 weeks, each time I've upped dose of citalopram I've been fine my normal happy self for 4 or so weeks, then gone straight back downhill again which has happened 3 times now, so I improve drastically then go downhill, to the point of having horrible thoughts about how my daughter and partner would he better off without me etc, becuase of what's happened to me... it got so bad in feb that i got the mental health team involved urgently to help me, I saw a phsyciatrist who upped my dose to 30mg, as he said the reason I kept dipping was becuase the dose wasnt high enough for me...

anyway so I've gone downhill again and now my GP has said she wants to put me on venlaxafine, I've read horror stories and I really really dont feel comfortable with it, seeing as medication is what caused this in the first place and I'm just so so scared becuase at the moment I'm barely functioning, I've been off work since xmas, when I'm bad I cant even show any emotion or love or do anything for my partner and daughter, I turn into a constantly crying mess like a zombie, it's like my personality and the life I knew and loved is disappearing before my eyes, I suffer depersonalisation from the anxiety and it all feels like a nightmare which is never going to end, over 3 months this has been going on and I'm not sure I can take any more I'm going to end up loosing my job which means we wont be able to pay for my 2 year olds nursery fees, not only that it's not fair on my little girl and partner to have to deal with me like it, I'm not eating as no appetite and barley any sleep at all please suggestions on what I can do 😭😭😭😭

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  • Edited

    hi Emily,

    I am so sorry to hear you are going through this nightmare. I went through the same thing. it started with my doctor prescribing ativan for my work stress and anxiety 5 years ago..... then i ended up trying all possible antidepressants which made my anxiety worst and added the depression on top of that. couldn't stop crying for months and lost my job.

    The last antidepressant i tried is prozac.

    it took me almost 6 months to be my happy self again.

    My advice to you is to do not give up. Life is beautiful and worth making some sacrifices. Don't kill yourself thinking you are not worthed.... I was also felt guilty for being not able to be a helpful mother and wife... but it doesn't help anyone. stick with your medication and doN't change it... as it takes time for our brain and body to adjust and everyone is different.

    Please dont forget... You are not alone... and this is a temporary situation.... depression is curable and you will get better soon... the worst have passed... you are so close to get well xx

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    • Posted

      was it 6 months on prozac before you felt like yourself again or 6 months overall the whole journey? I have no hope at all, my Dr wants me trying more antidepressants but becuase they caused this in the first place I'm really not sure... she wants me to try venlafaxine which apparently according to everybody is a horrible antidepressant, I just really dont know what to do, all I know is I want my life back 😭😭😭

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  • Edited

    Dear Emily . . . you're going through a very tough time admittedly. Your experience with medications seems frustrating to say the least.

    I hear you saying you're scared and I'm assuming you mean you're scared of what any medication adjustments will do to you and also you're scared about possibly losing your job.

    It sounds, though, like the Citalopram has been successful except for the 'dips' in your mood. Once you've been given the highest dose available of that medication (40 mg.?) perhaps you could add some anxiety medication and see how the combination works for you.

    Please do not take any medication you're scared of like the Venlaxafine.

    I take Citalopram plus Buspirone for anxiety and it works very well for me.

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    • Posted

      I have to be on the 20 mg. Citalopram because I'm a senior and we're not allowed more than that. I'm on Buspar 15 mg. three times a day. This all works quite well for me. I've been on Citalopram for I'm pretty sure over 10 years now.

      If you're seven weeks in with your meds you should be achieving stability very soon and a good idea of how the meds are going to be working for you. At first the meds made me feel very, very happy and 'high' but that wore off and now I have stability and moments of feeling blissful occasionally when I feel appreciation for what I have in life.

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    • Edited

      diane, I had this, felt my normal happy self for 4 weeks, now depression and anxiety is back, mood hasnt been too bad today and I've not cried since thursday or friday, but my anxiety is extreme in mornings until around this time I feel slightly better in evenings, I just dont know whether citalopram is working for me or not, I'm just about 7 weeks in now... my GP wants me to change but I'm not sure, I have had no appetite for 2 weeks i havent been able to eat anything or drink hardly, i feel physically like I've been hit by a bus so tired and ontop of not sleeping that well, and generally just crap, still feel awful just not as emotional as i have been the past week and when I wrote this post, still no energy or motivation or interest in anything I just kinda feel inbetween, like flat... but the anxiety i can't turn my brain off all i can think of is what's going on with my mental health litterally cant think of nothing else but wanting to be better and be my normal self before any of this happened... which in turn makes me feel low?

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    • Posted

      Gee, I'm a bit at a loss and it sounds to me like you may benefit from therapy (cant remember if you said you're in it).

      Also sounds like current meds arent doing their job very well. Ask doctor if you should give it more time or switch.

      But the situation ultimately is caused by meds and your own internal condition apart from the meds.

      I hope you have a psychiatrist. Cant remember if you said you do.

      But a psychiatrist is definitely the one to tell about all these symptoms you're having. I would only trust a psychiatrist to deal with this meds situation.

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    • Edited

      I don't feel that i need counselling, i tried that and it is not for me. Celexa will work again however i also have a setback as i work at a bank and with this covid 19, i am considered an essential employee in New York and have to go to work and am scared of possible exposure. Little extra anxiety.

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    • Posted

      I am sorry you have to go to work at this time. I hope you are disinfecting your workspace and wearing mask and gloves.

      I just said a little prayer for you to keep you safe.

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  • Posted

    Hi Emily,

    I am in the UK also. Can I ask if you ever suffered from anxiety or depression before? If not, then if it were me I would be changing my GP (anti depressants are not prescribed for sleeping problems). I have been on medication for 22 years for mental health and changing medication can be really rough. I am concerned though that your symptoms may be due to side effects from the medication, especially if you have no prior mental health problems. Have you been offered any CBT by your psychiatrist? For some people medication is not the answer sometimes it makes the situation worse and there are other psychiatric therapies available. The medical profession in this country are handing out anti depressants like candy, it is very disturbing.

    Practise breathing exercises or guided meditation, you will find both on utube.

    Please remember you are not alone. I am here if you want to chat.

    Best Wishes

    Louisa 

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  • Edited

    hi Emily, every bit of your story i read is to do with an antidepressant yet again. why do doctor's offer them if they clearly bugger up your psyche? apologies to those who find they work but they buggered up my mind so badly i promised i would never take them again and i am now having horrendous assault counselling without them! i think doctor's need to stop using antidepressants as 'smarties', these are not sweets! why are they not offering counselling, mindfulness, yoga, Pilates, exercise etc 1st, it makes my blood boil. bless you, you poor bugger i hope you get the proper support you need, insist on seeing someone like Richmond fellowship who deal with mental health without drugs! good luck.

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