Depression and depersonalisation relapse

Posted , 6 users are following.

Hi there,

I'm looking for the experiences of others. I had a nervous breakdown last year after a house move, working 2 jobs as a single mum and a difficult ex. I ended up on sertraline 50mg but I weaned off after 7 months determined to feel all emotions and drink again.

It was all going fine but now I feel I'm being struck again after a few little things to do with my toxic ex in the summer holidays. I think I am anxious about the depression which is just stopping me feel truly happy about anything it is just putting a cloud over everything even though I know my life IS better and then because I am anxious I am depersonalising. How do I get out of this cycle? I just want to be the happy me again.. Thanks for reading and any thoughts, experiences or advice gratefully received.

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12 Replies

  • Posted

    Clare

    You are suffering from a toxic Ex, a child and life choices. You mention drink if that gives relief and you need a good soak to relax, be careful, drink can make depression worse even if you are taking medication or not.

    Try and take each of your problems into little packages and approach each package into small bites. Deal with each bite as one part that needs to be sorted, one at a time and if you get stuck leave that package and look toward a different package or bite. Doing this will help you break down your concerns and help you move on.

    Only you can deal with your concerns, sometimes however a course of CBT or same can help you move on as well.

    Sometimes a course that helps us address problems will help, you may nt need medications over an extended period. Talk to your GP and see what can be suggested

    BOB

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    • Posted

      Hi there,

      Thanks for your message. I think the drink comment was more just I wanted to be normal again and having a social drink was part of that but I reacted badly on the meds.

      I've corrected all the things in my life that I have control over and I was doing really well then all of a sudden the black dog has crept back preventing me from feeling happy even though I can see the joy around me I can't feel it and it's horrible because I was such a passionate fun loving person before all this happened last year.

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    • Posted

      Clare

      Diversion Therapy can assist with the Black Dog of Depression. Look for hobbies or activities you love to do, this will divert the negativity of your Depression and help you move on along that straight, even path.

      I use this site to put my own concerns back into perspective and my garden does help me when I prune my fruit and apple trees etc. Also I take our Dog, Pax out for walks and He seems to know when I need to take a more positive outlook to Life in general. Yes it is hard and sometimes my mood cannot be lifted even when I am doing those tasks I enjoy. The phrase Little but often comes to mind. Diversion Therapy does not need to be expensive just something you may enjoy.

      BOB

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  • Posted

    for long term health of brain, is it good for single Mom to have 2 jobs? you may re-examine. 

    My prayers for you. stay calm and remain strong. take rest and adequate sleep and sunshine. 

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    • Posted

      Hey,

      I'm no longer in 2 jobssmile . I needed to do it to raise the funds to get my own place for me and my children but it all came at a cost. I am now in control, my own home, two happy healthy children, one job with a day off a week but the depression has creeped in telling me I'll never be happy again despite what I do. I don't know if it's just a set back, if I came off the meds too soon or if I overanalyse my thoughts...

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  • Posted

    Hi you don't mention if you have had or are having any counselling?  I think this could be the way forward for you and much better than meds.  Having said that meds have their place in making you a bit better and more able to tackle your issues.  x

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    • Posted

      Hi there,

      I've managed to sort out some counselling. It's so weird when your own brain is against you so I'm going to try and reset my thought patterns without the drugs.

      Thanks for your support smile

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  • Posted

    Hi you don't mention if you have had or are having any counselling?  I think this could be the way forward for you and much better than meds.  Having said that meds have their place in making you a bit better and more able to tackle your issues.  x

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  • Posted

    Hi, I have lived with depression for 15+ years.

    It is a difficult illness to shake and doing it alone........almost impossible.

    Did you ever go to counselling? I strongly recommend it as they have ideas that we often don't think of to handle some incidents in our lives.

    You mentioned that you wanted to drink again; I suggest that you do not. Alcohol is a depressant . There are other foods which can trigger depressive episodes; refined sugar, caffiene,and processed meats. i have almost totally eliminated these things from my diet and have had significant improvement in my moods and energy levels !

    Also did you take a lengthy period of time to get off the medication? Did you follow the Doctors advice about doing so or was it just your decision?

    Again, I strongly recommend counselling or a visit to the psychiatrist, they are trained to help and are nonjudgemental !

    Good luck, keep smiling there are better days ahead

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    • Posted

      Hi there,

      Thanks for taking the time to reply. I am exercising, eating healthily, connecting with people, steering clear of alcohol and caffeine - all the things to help my recovery and I weaned off the drugs under my doctor's advice. It is a stubborn black dog now though, telling me I'll never truly feel happy again despite what I do to fix it. I've just sorted some counselling though and I'm hoping I can learn to adjust my thinking back to the positive optimistic way I used to be before my breakdown last year.

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    • Posted

      Good job !

      About feeling happy again....you can and you will.

      Find people who help you feel the way you want to feel. Find something (a hobby, an exercise class, a funny movie) you can enjoy. Sometimes I watch funny videos just to make me laugh. I remember being told that laughter is the best medicine, and for depression-- I believe it is!

      You are on the road to recovery, I can't promise it will be easy but I can promise the effort you put into it will totally be worth it!

      Keep smiling and communicating with us on this forum,we are her to lend support1

      Hugs

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  • Posted

    Hi

    I feel for what your are feeling. It's real. It's an illness and needs to be treated as one. I am/was single mom. I think, in my case , my desire  to work,take care of my children , lead to me neglecting my needs.  Multiple health issues and depression.  My depression was a dark cloud.  And as you said, all I wanted to do was shake it and get back to my life.  Well it been at least 4 years.  I was in therapy first to try and understand what was happening to me.  Then came the multiple drugs.  I am not a fan of the anti depressants.  I have a high sensitivity.  I think I've tried 80 or 90%. Awful process.  Eventually I found one that worked and helped.   I have done this journey and continue to, totally w/o support of any family. That has been one of my biggest challenges.  They told me I'm crazy.  No one in their right mind would act like this.   I Sent them books , articles etc to educate them. Doesn't matter.  I can now manage my depression and aniexty though therapy, medication, diet and the support of a few good friends.   It is a process.  One that can take some time.  Everyone is different.  What helped one persons depression may not help another. Talk with your pcp.   Get a psychiatrist or therapist recommendations.   If you'd like to PM we can talk more.   Try and give yourself a break.  Rest , don't clean.  I was very hard on myself   I still Im but not so it is detrimental to my healing and happiness 

    Take care

    Julie 

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