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Just wanted to ask if anyone has similar feelings or thoughts on this - I have incredible trouble understanding if I love people because I love them in a pure way, or if I love people in order to ensure they will love me, and then alieviate the feelings of worthlessness and self-hatred/disgust that are so wrapped up in my depression. I think the need for others' love makes me love them in a needy way, and then I end up hurting people - they eventually have this sense of being kind of used by me and I feel a constant sense of guilt. I never realise I'm doing this until it's too late. I really want to be a good person, selfless etc. I think this is one of the only paths to happiness, but I feel I'm trapped in this cycle of kinda very dysfunctional love. It's ultimately making me increasingly alone as I drive more and more people slowly away from me, which then, of course, makes me more needy. Does anyone here recognise this as a process, or have any advice?
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