Depression and love
Posted , 5 users are following.
Hi, Id like to ask you for a piece of advice. I have had my own experience with mild depression during past years but managed withoout pills just with psychotherapy. But this time, severe depression hit my boyfriend. It started two months ago, a few months after we got to know each other. He seemed to fall in love with me at first but from the moment his symptoms started, everything changed. He didnt want to see me regularly and just a few days ago he broke up with me, stating that he had never loved me. It was three weeks after we met before, he didnt want to meet me at all, totally isolated him self from me. When I saw him and he told me that he wanted to end our relationship, he had practically no emotions, no facial expressions, he was like after lobotomy. It was dreadful not only because he wanted to break up but also to see him in such a terrible condition. And here is my question. What is your eperience in such situation? Could it be because of the illness or the pills? I cant believe everything what happened between us when he was ok was just one big lie and pretense. It hurts so much. And do you think after he gets better he can change his mind about it? I know its difficult to tell but maybe your experience can help me find some hope. Thanks a lot for your replies!
0 likes, 18 replies
jason31256 hexogen
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jackie82937 hexogen
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Sorry to hear your story, you are not alone left feeling bewildered what you have done or haven't done etc, it's all related to Depression.
Check the Depression Fallout website where you will find many similar stories http://depressionfallout.org/symptomsofdepression.php
J
hexogen jackie82937
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thank you so much. Now I am reading the book and it is exactly what I needed. I understood many things. It is terrifying how precisely the book describes what was happening between me and my bf... Although it is probably over, at least I learnt what I did wrong and that by far not everything was my fault...
So thanks again!
jackie82937 hexogen
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So glad you found the site and the book, it's a really interesting book and I'm sure you will find many answers. The site has been a life saver for me. Depression affects entire families not just relationships. I have seen many posts where the children are also affected and having to have counselling, it's so very sad. You haven't done anything wrong these are his issues to sort. My friend just rang to check how I'm doing I told her despite my husband saying he wants a relationship with our children he hasn't contacted our son since Christmas Day and our daughter since June, she said he sounds like someone in need of a lot of help! He isn't getting any help as he's refusing help from anyone medical help included, nothing we can do until a crisis is reached! I told my friend had our relationship not been a very good one I would have walked away and had it not been for a long list of people who know he's ill and his behaviour is odd they would have thought I was the one in denial and would have questioned my sanity! Take care. J x
Wings_of_the_Pegasus hexogen
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Another option could be that your relatioinship was a lie because those that start suffering from depression start coming to a realization of whats real and not in their lifes so he may be depressed but he could also be telling you the truth of course he may of also said that to see what your reaction would be either way its not so simple to say what he means since none of us know whats going on in his mind only he does.
jackie82937 hexogen
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Wings_of_the_Pegasus jackie82937
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Again thats just my opinion but i still think he's been prideful and im guessing your husband was born in the 60s or 70s so he would of been brought up to sort his own problems out.
jackie82937 Wings_of_the_Pegasus
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Wings_of_the_Pegasus jackie82937
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jackie82937 Wings_of_the_Pegasus
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hexogen
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But that was not my point. He suffers from a serious depression, he takes meds and it has had a huge impact on his behaviour. It developed rather quickly during one month (at least from my point of view). But despite not beeing together for a long time I think I know him a bit and can say what behaviour makes sence and what doesnt. I read about people who, beeing depressed, made decisions that ruined their relationships and that they regretted these decisions later on when they were ok. So I thought some people here might have some experience of that kind. Before his illness started, our relationship was growing, we had a lot of fun, we enriched ourselves tremendously and there was no sign of any major problem.
I am not denying anything, trying to cope with what has happend but at the same time I am trying to understand the situation, maybe to avoid some mistakes in the future.
But thanks also for the "not so optimistic comments" it gave me a different perspective that is always useful.
Wings_of_the_Pegasus hexogen
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Because the meds i took made me worse they also had varying effects such as making me cranky and very irritable which for my cat was a bad thing since id often push her away when all she wanted was to comfort me or lay down an sleep.
matt59282 hexogen
Posted
Wanting to be alone, showing no emotion is another sign that he's not well. He needs help and support, but probably won't admit it. Whether you can offer him that help only you will know, since it'll be hard on you. But you could be the difference between him recovering quickly and not. Perhaps you could share your concern with one of his family members. If he's been on his medication for a while and he's not improving, he needs to see his GP and review it. Somebody will likely need to arrange an appointment for him, since he sounds like he isn't well enough to do so himself.
I don't agree with some of the comments on here and the priority is to support him, either directly or by encouraging somebody else to do so.
All the best, I hope it works out for you both.
hexogen Wings_of_the_Pegasus
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Wings_of_the_Pegasus hexogen
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hexogen matt59282
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chloe1712 hexogen
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I'm jn the same situation but my bf left me after 3 years. I went through it myself but it's hit him hard and he broke up with me 3 months ago. He's refusing to get help and is only opening up to me. But he tells me how he's having really bad weeks and I'm trying to support and be there as much as possible.
I want him back to show it wasn't our relationship but the depression but he's too against listening to it. He keeps saying it's over for us. However in person he is amazing and loving and kind. He's really stressed with exams so I'm hoping it's just a major reason, but he keeps getting frustrated and taking out all the stress out on me.
I want him to get better to realise and start fresh but im so scared.
Do they ever realise? He seems to be forcing himself to get over this and move on than actually reasoning it out
Please help
jackie82937 chloe1712
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