Depression and reduced cognitive ability.
Posted , 4 users are following.
Hi,
So I’ve been wanting to talk about this for quite some time because I’ve been researching these symptoms for months on end and haven't really managed to pin it down properly but I trueley believe it’s a level of depression, but maybe it’s something else...
So last August I started to feel rather unconfident at work, generally down to an important member of the company talking down to me and deliberately playing with my words in-conversation, which in turn started to reduce my self esteem. I don’t believe it was an act of bullying because I don’t believe this individual was doing it to suppress my confidence but it definitely felt like it was affecting me. So over the space of a few weeks I started to get something that I can possibly relate to as “brain fog”. It only originally started when I had to concentrate or attempt new things at work but soon began to appear more often, in and out of work and affecting my other hobbies. Here’s how I’d describe it:
- Light headache over the my forehead, but not painful.
- A foggy cloud that seems to prevent me from thinking quickly or remembering things, not visual but I feel I have to push through it to do and remember things I did so easily before.
- Sometimes it tends to reduces my eyesite, a little like myopia and also my eyes feel heavy.
- Brings on heavy depressive low thoughts of low self-esteem and sadness.
- Also brings on levels of frustration.
- Really poor short-term memory, I often have to read things 20 times before it’ll go in, something as simple as a forename and surname.
- Literally feels like I’ve lost some 50% of my cognitive ability.
So this only initially appeared during work but as said earlier it progressed to affect everything else including my hobbies, of which some were part of my work, which is IT. IT being my number one hobby seemed much harder to study for at weekends when I was not at work. I also have some other hobbies which have become much harder and less enjoyable.
So also going back to August at the same time I started feeling like this I was trying out 5HTP for help with sleep, some 50-100mb once per day which definitely helped with sleep and alertness in the morning, but this was only for about a week before I started feeling this fog. Since then I’ve not really taken them since. So it’s been some 8 months since and it’s getting much worse, I’ve pretty much discounted the 5HTP but I have once or twice taken a 50mg tablet before bed to see if it clears the fog and it seems to do the trick a little. (I’ve done this only twice since August, literally months apart). Apart from them I’ve just been taking some Omega3 tablets at 1000mg (have been for about 5 years) and this month I’ve been taking some complex Bs and magnesium doses to see if I’m deficient of them, not much change really.
My lifestyle is pretty good I think, live in a clean home of my own, eat healthy and exercise 4-5 times per week and have for years, stress is generally at a minimum but I could be underestimating that.
Anyway, since the end of May I have left the job mentioned earlier to move into a bigger company, mostly down to career progression and I believe I could do much better than the job I was in before.
Sadly this brain fog hasn’t disappeared and is following me around still. Now I’m becoming more and more depressed and it seems to be affecting my work, at least I feel it is and I don’t really want this fog around when I’m trying to perform in a new role.
Given I already suffer from mild depression and anxiety it’s being made much worse now where I’ve considered asking a GP for some anti-depressant advise.
I’m guessing this has turned into full-blown depression and I’m going to need some help getting out now I’ve sank quite low? Or maybe it’s something else?
Thanks for taking the time to read my little story =)
2 likes, 3 replies
wayne1962 ben18647
Posted
Hi Ben - the contributors to this site are not qualified professionals. You must see your doctor - yesterday! Explain what is happening, write it down before hand if it helps. Leave nothing out - what seems minor to us can be an indicator of something bigger. The doc may prescribe you medications. These are to help balance your mood and are best used in conjunction with a therapist/counsellor or psychologist. This is extremely helpful if there are underlying issues (past trauma, abused childhood etc) that need to be addressed. Meds will take 3-6 weeks to work. Once they are, don't suddenly stop taking them - it's dangerous - always consult your doc. There are multiple strains of AD meds, and what works for me may not work for you. Tweaking of doses may be necessary, or perhaps a change of meds - it can be a case of trail and error. The meds are a bridge, not a lifetime path (unless there are serious mental issues) and there will be some discomfort with them as you adjust. However, your mental health is the most important for your stability and future, it's well worth the journey. You will emerge stronger, more sure of yourself, more aware of your feelings, aware of other peoples feelings, and armed with coping skills where any triggers are concerned. Another thing - you don't have to tell anyone else about all this. It's none of their business. It's unfortunate that there are still many in this world who are terrified of people living with mental health issues and will use it to cause harm and isolation of the sufferer.
Also, you have a healthy diet and exercise (good on you - huge factors in mental health!) so dosing up on vits is a complete waste of wads of money and all you get is expensive urine. Not only that, but overdosing on some vits and minerals can cause serious problems. We are always here to talk to, you are not alone, and the best of luck with whatever you decide.
BT_Says... ben18647
Posted
That's an excellent, articulate account Ben. And yes, it sounds like 'proper' depression.
Some form of therapy/counselling may help alongside the medication. Therapy is not just for people who are bereaved or suffering from PTSD - all sorts of people get depression despite no outward causes in circumstances.
Some of us are just more susceptible, and there are all sorts of sub-conscious reasons in our upbringing that may have contributed to our vulnerability without our realising.
Well done for sharing.
yvonne81394 ben18647
Posted
Ben, some of your "symptoms" also could be related to a minor thyroid issue, (hyper/hypo). Have you noticed any changes in your weight, hair loss, sensitivity to cold or hot? That's the physical possibilities that a doctor would have to diagnose and would be highly treatable. The other, of course, would be some clinical depression, also very treatable. I'm not a fan of taking a lot of pills. Sometimes that helps at first but sometimes can make things worse. I'd get the physical side cleared first. Get checked out medically. Even poor nutrition can stimulate depression. Diet is a very important element in our well being both physically and mentally. And by the way, that person messing with your words was bullying you. Been there, experienced it. It was passive aggressive so you would doubt it was happening but your intuition was spot on. Wasn't your imagination. I have found that people who bully are fearful of their own inadequacies. By pulling down others they get a deterrent from their own. Good luck to you!