Depression and relationship doubts

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When will I get over the doubts of my perfect relationship? it all started just when I fell into a deep depression and this was the girl I couldn’t wait to marry and have a family with but now I kinda just feel hopeless and not interested in anything. And sometimes doubt my love for her which is something I never would have done before.  I am 5 weeks into my AD and praying this helps 😞

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  • Posted

    There is no such thing as a perfect relationship and if you are thinking along these terms then nothing can match up with this expectation. I hope your ad's kick in fo ryou soon.  x

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  • Posted

    Hi there.

    Sorry to read that you've been feeling depressed. 

    There are many antidepressants (AD) out there and they all work in slightly different ways. Sometimes a patient needs to try a few different types before finding one that suits them. It generally takes four weeks on a new AD to notice at least some improvement, although I have heard of some people only responding a full eight weeks later but that is not too common. Perhaps give it another seven days and if nothing has improved then return to your doctor and let them know you're still suffering and discuss your options and take their advice from there.

    It might be helpful to try and ascertain if it is perhaps your current circumstances that have triggered this depression, or if it has come on out of the blue and isn't connected to your environment.  Did you lose interest towards your partner before starting the antidepressants, or did your feelings seem to change towards your her only after you started them?  Can you pinpoint anything at all that happened that could've caused you to fall into a deep depression?

    Have you thought about other reasons why someone could suddenly experience a depression, like a vitamin or mineral deficiency (especially B12 and D3), the side effects of any other meds you may be taking or have stopped taking, hitting your head and being concussed and so on - did your doc ask these questions, or run a blood test before offering you ADs?

    As hypercat has said, there is no such thing as a 'perfect relationship' and to have expectations of such is always going to bring disappointment.  Your girl is a woman with all the complexities that come with the human condition.  You may be experiencing the end of what they call the 'honeymoon period', where the rose tinted glasses come off and you begin to see each other more rationally - as 'normal' people with a past, and faults with potential improvements to be made.  At that point, partners either split or the hold hands and jump off the mountain together.  Have you been with this lady for very long? 

     

     

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    • Posted

      Depression and anxiety has always ran in my family I’m pretty sure everyone in my family has been through a depressive episode at some point in their life. I was taking zoloft and quit cold turkey last year when I was on it for about 8 years. 

      And nothing really triggered it I don’t think I just woke up and had doubts and fell into a deep depression. I know relationships aren’t perfect but I always fantasized about having kids and marrying this girl which I still intend to but I want to feel like me again. We’ve been together for a year and a half and I’ve always been perfectly happy with her until the depression hit. I was feeling this way before I went back on AD. I feel slightly better just don’t feel like myself 

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  • Posted

    I understand how you fill and it sucks. Well I can not relate to the relationship but the depression. Something I have had to carry for almost 2 years now.  But I hope you get threw this.
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  • Posted

    I have not been very close with my parents ever. And I think what triggered my depression it a cuple of people telling me to kill my self. Well not a couple but 7. And now this guy is telling my best friend, my only friend to kill her self and it is all my fault. Now I just fill like I am useless. I fill like I can not even stop something a little as this. 
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  • Posted

    Hi there, you are feeling this way because of your depression. The doubts about how you feel about your girlfriend right now, again are bought about because of your depression. This is not a true reading of how you feel about this girl. Depression changes the way you think and feel, don't trust it! Try not to question these things at this time. Concentrate on feeling better. I can guarantee once you are feeling better, your love for this girl will prevail. Good luck hun, Donna x

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  • Posted

    Hi Chase - hang in there mate. Don't throw her away, let the meds do their work. If they don't work, don't despair, dosage might need tweaking or another sort of med used. 

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    • Posted

      How are you doing? My partner is on week 5 of AD and he also didn’t know how he felt anymore which was such a shock as we had a good healthy relationship. I’ve noticed change in him but he’s still no where near back to normal and we haven’t discussed feelings/love. I’m seriously holding out hope but must admit it’s getting harder to hang on in there 😔

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    • Posted

      I wish I could say I’m better but these things take time and I’ve learned to deal with it. I’m in therapy now and seeing my therapist twice a week. Depression can really take a toll on a relationship its made me feel emotionally numb. But I do know most meds take time to work and also if one doesn’t work your partner should try another. Try having him see a therapist because that can help just as much as the meds. I know once everything clears up things will start to go back to normal so all I can really say is be patient and be supportive. Also have him mention something about gensight testing because that can help with the trial and error period with which meds will work best for him. I hope things get better for both of our relationships! 
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    • Posted

      Thank you this does give me hope. Depression is such a vile thing. His meds are working and he is staying on them for now. He has seen a therapist in the past but says it didn’t help, maybe he needs to see another. It’s the things he’s said about us/me/him which put serious doubt in my head which he would never have said before so it’s all the questions of us it depression or does he really just not love me anymore? But he is making efforts to see me which then tells me surely if he didn’t love me he wouldn’t do this. So so confusing but I’ve been really patient for 5 weeks and intend to try to stay that way. 
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