Depression and travel

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So basically.. I dropped out of uni after a year and a bit due to both losing interest in my course/career path it would take me down & quite bad depression. I moved back home with my parents, saw a doctor but nothing really came of it as I was just told to see how I felt after not being at uni. I got a job, started running and pretty much thought I'd sorted it out. I felt positive nearly all the time and even booked a trip to travel. After a few months at home I went travelling for 2 months and loved it, but did feel the depression slipping back at times - I put it down to being somewhere new and loneliness. I was so happy when I got home but have more and more felt it creeping back up on me and, although I don't really CONSIDERS suicide, I have thought of it regularly if that makes sense? - I took an overdose last year and instantly realised I couldn't do it simply because of how awful I knew it would make my parents feel, there was too much guilt. I'm now on my second trip, with a friend for a bit so no loneliness but I don't trust that the depression is gone. The main point is I'm meant to be going to Australia next year to do a year working holiday. I'm meant to go in January and have my visa and flight sorted. But I'm scared. I'm scared that moving all the way over there with no support and this depression that seems to be showing up again, might be a bad idea, if I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning how am I supposed to make friends (I know no one in the city I plan to work in) and be good at whatever job I get there. I feel like maybe I should cancel the flight (the visa is valid until August so as long as I start the year WH by then I won't lose it) and stay home, work, go to a doctor and try and really, really get to the bottom of my depression and really sort it out. I know I could go to a doctor there and get some sort of help but I wouldn't have my family or friends (even if I'm not talking to them all about depression, just knowing they're there and not on the other side of the world helps). The only thing is this means living at home again (I'm 20) I get on well with my parents but just feel so young and immature when I live at home, yet at the same time I feel like I never want to leave because it's a comfort zone (I was never like this before - I was at uni for a year and loved it, loved the independence until the depression got bad. And I do love travelling but I miss home) Do I need to just get on with it and go and get out of my comfort zone or do I need to sort this out properly and go to Australia a happier, healthier person with energy and without the risk of falling into a lonely horrible depressed hole again? I just don't know, any help would be great and I'm sorry for such a long post!

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    I suggest that if you don't feel right and haven't got the support in Australia postpone your trip until you feel in a better frame of mind.  It happened to me and I delayed a driving holiday in Oz because of my health situation.  but I went later on the holiday insurance cover.

    Richard

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  • Posted

    I would certainly try and sort it out but you are gonna have to figure it out what started it in the first place otherwise it may keep coming back it could be the stress of uni it could be something from your childhood someone passing away a traumatic time that you could have suppressed in your life the way forward can be just accepting what has happened and then finding a way to move forward and dealing with how it makes you feel going on a trip lime that is a chance of a lifetime so please try and get help so you dont miss out on something you may regret later in life because you felt you couldn't do it

    Please take care

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  • Posted

    Rebecca.

    I think you are feeling a little insecure which happens to us all after a struggle with depression.

    I think you should carry in with your plans. Don't let depression stop you doing a single thing.

    Look at it this way. If you go and the depression feels like its returning then the simple answer to that is,you come home .

    You are in charge of you,not the depression in charge of you.

    Yes it takes over our lives and overwhelms us but we fight it every step of the way.

    You have time before the trip to work on your confidence and get yourself excited.

    I have a feeling you will have the time of your life and like I said,if while away,you spot the signs,then come home xc

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  • Posted

    Hey Rebecca, i recently went to Australia on a working holiday visa in the hope that maybe getting myself out of my comfort zone and meeting new people would help.

    I have never been so bad in my life the month i was there, i stayed in a hostel for a few days and thought maybe being around people i would manage being able to talk.. I spent the 5 days i was there in my bed so upset and down, i didn't even and barely drank and lost half a stone. People there were so nice to me but i just couldn't physically do anything the way i was feeling.

    I had to leave my friend and stay in a hotel and then got the bad news i couldn't get a flight home for another 3 weeks. I spent the remaining 3 weeks so low sad i broke down a few times to somebody in the hotel and had to walk myself to the hospital a few times as i was started to self harm. 

    I don't know you but you really should get yourself sorted first, i felt so alone over there and was nearly crying for most of the days i was there. If it wasn't for people on this forum then i really don't know how i would have coped.

    I dont even know how to explain how hard being over there was for me, forcing myself to have to go out and get food, having to check in an out of hotels having anxiety attacks thinking about it all. Im not saying you will be as bad as me but i wish i would have waited to get help and feel happier and more positive. Im back home now about to go to the doctors for help.

    I can still go back if i want and i really hope i can get better but please do not go if you are feeling depressed, it will just ruin all the fun you could have if you were better sad xx

     

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  • Posted

    I agree with jason and Gillian, depression doesn't well shouldnt rule your life, how hard it sounds coming from me and how I feel but your young I would jump to the chance, you said you were going with a friend tho ain't you? 

    Once your there I know it's dawning but the sun the way of living, your be living a dream. Anywhere is better than this country right now. Especially the weather :-) 

    Do it your surprise yourself! 

    Xx

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