Depression...Anxiety...

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Good afternoon...Ive just recently been diagnosed with depression by my GP...Ive not been right for months but tried fighting the illness myself...Its all come to head now and ive been loosing the will to live the past few weeks...I want to enjoy life again and don't want to miss out on my kids childhood...I know it won't be fixed overnight..I am taking one day at a time...Thanks for listening...Its Don bytheway.

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  • Posted

    Hi Don

    Welcome to this forum. I only joined a week ago. What treatment has your GP given you.You are correct it is not an instead fix. The tablets will take about 3 months to really start to work. Please do not think like a lot of people its a failure or anything it can happen to any one.

    Take myself I thought I was quite strong and could deal with any thing that life would throw at me.But how wrong I was.

    I feel that I have been failed by my N H S. I had a stroke in 2009. Just woke up one morning went to work. I found I did not know how to walk.

    I have never felt depressed but over the years (6) in total. I have had walking and balance.panic attacks seziures fits jerking leg movement.Unable to stand up could not walk up or down stairs,A huge fear of steps and kerbs. Before you say anything I not mad.

    But there are all types of depression just not the normal. But I was left to find out the hard way.Deppression also effects you brain and all the nerves in the body.

    The only person that really help me was a Chinese GP and his wife.His wife who is also Chinese found that allthe nerves and tendons in my feet were so tight making it hard to walk.Stress and deppression its not just I feel fed up.

    There are so many symtoms that you never think about.Talk to me about how you are feeling I will try to help.

    After 6 years I am just getting better Once again please do not blame youself.It can happen to any one. 

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your support lynne71295....I know i just can't flick the awitch and everything will be ok...Its like i have hit a brick wall..with the right medication and support i will get through this...As for the anti-depressants i know i have to give them a chance to get into my system...Thanks again lynne71295.

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  • Posted

    Hi Don

    Depression is difficult to live with because it can be so debilitating in that you don't want to get out of bed in the morning, everything is an effort, you put on a face when deep down you feel dreadful and it leads  to very negative thoughts..

    The postive is you have tried to fight it and you are now seeing your doctor so you are trying to help yourself in anyway you can. Please don't be hard on yourself as this is an illness that can happen to anyone at anytime..

    You are correct when you say it will take time to get better and it is one day at a time.. But you will get there.  Has your doctor suggested any kind of therapy to give you more support?  Talking is a great way to get things out and find things you didnt even realise where botehring you.

    You will enjoy life again and especially with your children.. So hang in there don't beat yourself up for feeling unwell at the minute..Big Hug

     

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    • Posted

      Thanks for your support laura11452...My GP has put me on anti-depressants (citalopram) and i also have sleeping tablts to take 3/4 a week...I need the tablets for sleeping as i struggle to sleep or wake up in the middle of the night and don't back to sleep...I am currently getting counsilling through my work as my GP has signed me off for 6 weeks...I am a bit worried about taking time out of work but my wife says its the only way to get through this...Its put a struggle on my marriage but i know with the right treatment we will come out the other side in one piece..I have had suicidle thoughts in the past few weeks and ive also lost 2 stone...Thanks for listening to me.

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    • Posted

      Yes I agree with your wife you need time off to get the support you need.  Stress makes you lose weight and affects your sleep.. You are doing all the right things Don and you have the fight to get through this.. Your marriage will sort itself out when things settle down and it sounds like your wife is supporting you thrugh this. You will have good days and bad days and negative thoughts but that is all part of the illness..Keep posting on here for support if you need it.
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    • Posted

      Thank you laura11452...much appreciated...Since i have been diagnosed with depression ive struggled to go further than my back garden...I went shopping with my wife yesterday and i took a panic attack..Its the thought of people speaking about you knowing you have depression i think...I have been ignoring my whole family for months now its felt like i am inside this bubble and i don't want to be bothered with anyone..Thanks again for your support..

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    • Posted

      Aww Don panic attacks are not nice and very frightening.. Isolating yourself  and withdrawing from people is all part of the symptoms.  It comes from low self esteem due to feeling down, negative thoughts, the feeling no-one undersatnds how you feel inside etc etc  It very hard to communciate with people when your struggling to feel any sort of happiness or interest in life and everything around you feels either like a weight on your shoulders or overwhemling..

      You are not well at the minute so don't be hard on yourself no-one wants to feel like you do at the minute and its not intentional..

      When I suffer from deppression I hold on to the times I did laugh, had good days and the person I really am when Iam well.  This is  not who you are just part of the illness.  I totally understand you not wanting anyone to know you feel down as it can  at times have a stigma.  But depression is becoming more accepted and understood more now.  You would be amazed at the amount of people you know suffer from it.  Life is getting more pressurized now through finance, work, family, material things, what should look like etc etc..

      It is harder on men because there is this perception they are the strongest. If anything I feel men get it the hardest as they cannot express or are not expected to expresstheir feelings.  This has caused so much damage and destruction where men turn to drink and drugs to cope..

      If you can listen to relaxing music at night to help you sleep.Write down everything that is going on in your head before you go to sleep to empty your head.  Our minds race more at night and writing it out helps to clear your head..

      Mornings are difficult as that is when we can feel the worse and are mood is the lowest.  Try to keep occupied and keep telling yourself this is not who Iam and in time it will pass.. 

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    • Posted

      Thanks again laura11542....Everything you have said their is what i am going through right now....it hurts me that when the kids are bedded and we have time together all i want to do is cuddle up on the sofa with my blanket...Also my wife has noticed that i am not watching tv but starring into space..Does that sound crazy to you Laura11452...This ive been on my anti-depressants now for over a week and i am hoping i get some relief soon..Thanks for the ideas at night before i go to sleep..much appreciated..
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    • Posted

      Hi Don

      I have repled to your message but I do not think they have posted.Laura is correct please give your self time.What type of job to you do? Please do not reveal the real thing just say office retail factory.As I said in my other message the tablets will not work straight away. Please give yourself  a couple of months. Not every tablets works so see how you go with the medication. If no improvement go back to your GP.

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    • Posted

      Thank you so much for your reply lynne71295...I work in retail,My wife and i just looked up the ant-depressents and it said it could take upto 6 weeks to get into your system...Its hurts when all i do is feel sad the whole time and not interacting with my kids..I want to be part of their childhood and not be seen as a useless dad..Thanks again lynne71295.
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    • Posted

      Hi Don

      Just read your other message I worked in retail for 26 years I know what its like. Yes you will not see any change for about 2 months.Its quite normal to feel they way you do. You are not a bad Father. to your children

      The tablets will start to send the brain the treatment you need. But it takes time. Please after 2 months tablets make no change go back to GPS. It took me 3 times to be put on the correct medication their are many tablets on the market now. The first 2 sets of tablets did nothing for me.

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    • Posted

      Staring into space is not crazy.. Our mine can race  and be preocupied or we just feel numb inside and this can cause lack of concentration.. Many a time I have sat and stared into space  lol..

      Anti depressants can take up to 4 -6 weeks to kick in and sometimes you might have to get an increase..So please be patient difficult I know.

      Thefact you care about your children and how you think this maybe effecting thme speaks volumes of the typre of dad you are.. Far from useless.

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    • Posted

      Thanks again laura11452...Ive another appointment a week on Monday with my GP to see how things is going....Then a week later after that we go away on Holiday for a week..My wife thinks it will do me good getting away from it all and just the family around...Thanks again for your support.
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    • Posted

      Yes a holiday will take you away from life's stresses and give you some space.  You wont know anyone so will not feel the need to explain yourself..

      Be as honest with your doctor as you can as he needs to know how you are getting on and if you need more support and help..

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    • Posted

      Thanks laura11542..Yes looking forward to the break awaynwith my family...I sure will tell my Dr everything as its the only way to get the right treatment...Also have councilling every week helps me too...I cannot thank you enough for your support today (((Huggs)))
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    • Posted

      Thank you lynne71295...I will keep that in mind..Ive got an appointment with my GP next Monday to see how things is going...I ahve noticed at night ive been sweating alot in bed..I dunno if thats the tablets or just part of having depression...Thanks again for your support...much appreciated.
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