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Hi, I have found many posts relating to symptoms of severe Anxiety & Depression BUT none match exactly how I feel.
Lets start with the overall all day symptoms - I always feel down, I am extremely pessemistic and I feel i have NO value in life for the future. I have had suicidal thoughts but doubt I would act upon them and you shall find out below why I doubt this:
I saw a doctor today and they think i am depressed, here is where I am becoming nervous about my health being overlooked because I keep gettign breathing issues, my heart keeps beating strange, I loose all feeling in my body and i feel completely light (my arms feel non existant) I always get depersonalization and just recently I have has the SCARIEST symptom yet: Feeling like for a brief moment I have lost conciousness and blacked out! I will be driving and feel as though i completely lost conciousness for a second and my surroundings that were once familiar become unfamiliar... I know my bedroom is my bedroom but it lost all of its comfort for me! It seems alien.
HERE IS THE WORST SYMPTOM: Last night i got an overwhelming sesnse of fear rush through my body. Remember you saw that jump scare in that movie or you saw that spider and you get this intense gut rush of butterflies and a huge wave of fear fill your entire body, this occoured on a chronic basis for over 10 minutes. I felt like i was loosing control and that my actions were not going to be my own. I was met with OVERWHELMING sadness and I felt like i was being POSSESSED. I felt like this because i felt like i was going to do something horrible without wanting to, like kill myself. i kept looking arround my room reminding myself of all the contents and ornaments, reciting the objects in my room and what they were, my family and who I was... nothing really worked, everything lost its value and association with me and I was scared that i was going to kil myself right then and there and although I didnt want to i felt like my body was going to do it for me. I felt like I was loosing my own mind!!!
I am terrified, no single day has passed for a month since and whenever i think about it it comes back, not a single DAY where I feel ok
I feel comfort in being sad, happiness feels forced and i dont ;like being happy, but i do not like feeling THIS sad. HELP!"
anyone else!!? Please for the love of god tell me
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