Depression, cheating and ending a relationship

Hi everyone,

I've been reading a lot of threads on here recently about the impact mental health can have on relationships and wanted to get some advice on my current situation.

I've been in a long term relationship of almost 6.5 years with my girlfriend who has been suffering with depression and anxiety since her teen years. She has only had this diagnosed since the turn of the year after her mental health deteriorated last Christmas and i encouraged her to see a doctor who prescribed her with meds.

She can be a closed book but has always been open and honest with me, whilst she can be a challenging character our relationship was getting stronger, fewer arguments, making some fantastic memories and I was planning to propose in the near future.

Then i found out that she had been cheating in me. It completely came out of the blue with no warning signs that our relationship was in danger. She didn't tell me, I had to drag it out of her and what hurt is that someone who despised lying now struggled to tell me the truth. She told me that she'd been unhappy in our relationship but couldn't tell me what the root cause was other than I didn't pay her enough compliments and she was having difficulties with relationships with some of my family members. The timings of when she started to feel this also tie in with her mental health deteriorating.

At first she was very remorseful, this is the biggest mistake of her life, but as time has gone on she is now starting to question whether she wants this any more and whether she loves me as a friend or a lover. She has also continued to maintain contact with him. Often when I question her on the situation she will simply say "I don't know" and that she cant stop contact with the other party as she likes spending time with him. I've been putting in more effort to prove that i can give her what was missing.

What makes the situation difficult to understand for me is that whilst there is all of this uncertainty, there are also moments where we are still having those special romantic moments - long cuddles in the morning, nice dinners, saying romantic things and talking about the future such as kids and marriage.

We are currently on a break for a week whilst she figures out what she wants, but I am fearful that her mental state is clouding her feelings for me and making the new interest she is receiving from the new party seem more exciting. I've always been keen to understand her mental health more, but this behaviour is completely unlike her and she's gone from someone who couldnt survive without me to someone who cant see a future with me.

I'm worried that her mental health (depression, maybe a mild form of bi-polar?) will contribute towards her making a decision that she doesnt actually mean, does anyone have any experiences of something like this and how to deal with someone going through tough times like this?

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