Depression for Men

Posted , 5 users are following.

HI All 

I feel really terrible about life and have been on fluoxentine for 6 weeks. I find that all i want to do is sleep. Trying to hold down a job that i really hate. I feel that this is dragging me down but i cannot give it up as i have to pay my morgage. 

I have a wife & 2 children. We dont seem to have a good life because of finaces and my terrible mood. Not sure how I can snap my self out. 

Does anyone have any solutions. 


3 likes, 17 replies

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17 Replies

  • Posted

    If you have been taking flouxetine every day for 6 weeks and you feel it is not working for you, there are options. You can increase the dosage until you find relief of symptoms, change to a different drug, try another type of treatment such as therapy or try online therapy (google search there are lots of online depression treatment courses, that may help relieve your symptoms as much as antidepressants).

    Talk to your doctor/mental health professional and make sure they understand that you aren't finding enough relief with your dosage of flouxetine.

    Also, you type "Not sure how I can snap myself out." Clinical depression cannot simply be snapped out of by will power, you must follow a treatment plan to find relief. You must accept this fact. Stop beating yourself up, it really isn't in your control. Its like, as you may well know, smacking your head against a brick wall, arguing in your head again and again why it isn't working.

    If you really hate the job, you can get a sick line from your gp due to mental health illness. This is a decision that can only be made by you of course.

    Best of luck finding treatment that works for you.

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  • Posted

    Hi Paul sorry to hear how your feeling

    Like yourself I suffer from depression

    & anxiety I've been on different meds

    And also had therapy . For a while things were ok , they were bearable

    Today I find myself back on meds after stopping roughly for 3 months due to a bad

    Reaction to mirtazapine . I like you have a partner & a young daughter , I work also

    I'm on day 5 of fluoxetine and start back work tomorrow & I really wish I had another 5 days off its as if I have to literally drag myself out of bed and before I even wake up the day is doomed . I wake early roughly an hour & a half before I'm supposed to get up this itself sets the tone I lie there anticipating the day ahead & all I want to do

    Is lie there sometimes it's worse than others

    I just tell myself hang in there take each day as it comes tomorrow is another day

    Talking to your other half will help

    Even on here helps just expressing how you feel it's a rocky road but it can be conquered

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    • Posted

      Thanks for the rpely daz.

      Gets pretty lonely sonetimes. I know what you mean about the waking up hor before your ment too. I have the same problem too. 

      Clock just goes so fast when your laying in bed. 

      Its a horrible feeling, my wife is good but its starting to get to her now too. Feel like i cant tell her how i feel. 

      Hope your having a better day today. 


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    • Posted

      Hi Paul.

      Sorry you aren't feeling good.

      They say Fluoxetine takes about 6 weeks to "kick" in. This doesn't mean that you will feel great at those 6 weeks. Give it time Paul. What dose are you on? I have been on Fluoxetine for about 15 years. I have tried to come off them before but always go back on them. They do help you cope day to day.

      Be patient and give them time and when they work you will really notice the difference.

      It's possible they have started you on a low dose and its not enough. Another chat with the doc might be beneficial.

      Also rest when you can because anxiety (which I also suffer from) is worse when you are tired.

      Hope this helps.

      Always willing to chat.


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    • Posted

      Hi Helen. 

      Im currently on 40MG. I wanted them to help but they dont seem to be working this time which makes me feel worse too. 

      I really dont know what to do. Just want to feel normal again. 

      Feel like my life is just non existent and we are living to work. My wife is good but its getting her down now. 

      Its a terrbile thing to feel deperessed and i dont know where to turn. 

      Think my wife deserves to be happy and often think she should be with someone else. 

      To top it off im nealry forty in a month. 


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    • Posted

      Hi Paul.

      I know it is so difficult when you have to drag yourself to work when you just want to curl up in bed and not face the world. Depression is an awful thing and when you are going through it you can't see a way out. But things will get better with time.

      It sounds as if you have an understanding wife. Is there anyone else close though that you can also talk to. I have a fab hubby that always listens but I feel that I'm going on and on so I also talk to my sister.

      I also find reading helps as you focus your mind on something else. Not always easy to focus I know but I spent 6 weeks staring out the window with a book in my hand. I found this time beneficial as it was when I was waiting for the Fluoxetine to "work". I eventually got of the sofa and began doing small jobs and it slowly got better.


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    • Posted

      Thanks for your help helen. 

      I would love to ba able to read. Im going to try going to the gym in the morning. Just need to get myself out of bed. 

      Ive heard excercise helps. 

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    • Posted

      Yes exercise is also a good thing. It gets the excess adrenalin used. I really hope you manage to sort the job situation out as this is obviously a trigger point for you.

      All the best.


      P.s Let us know how things are going.

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    • Posted

      the flux tablets can make you not want to get out of bed, and alter your sleep pattern, for some reason my daughter used to keep waking up, then wake at 2.53am every morning, and not go back to sleep. she used to put headphones on, and listen to music, it helped to stop the wizzing thourghts in her head. good luck at work, xx
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  • Posted

    I would consider taking a few days holiday

    Aswell . Your clearly needing a rest and time to think . Also if you hate your job

    This may be contributing to your condition

    Therefore I would start to consider options

    I did read once about workers with depression who work , some told there employers who fully understood and made adjustments etc

    While others didn't want employers to know

    Incase they got paid off . Or worse made a fool of

    I personally would take some time off

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    • Posted

      Hi Daz

      Im sure it has somethin g to do with my job, But cant afford to take time off as then i worry about money, 

      Not a noice feeling to have. 

      Tried to apply for a couple of jobs today. Have to maybe have a change. 

      Thanks for your replies. 

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    • Posted

      That's a gd start realising where the problem is at . What I meant by taking some days off is using some accrued holidays . Put in for some and give your self something to look fwd to and you'll still get paid

      It's atleast some breathing space

      It will help you through knowing that you'll be off for a couple of days

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  • Posted

    Hi paul

    So sorry you are suffering. It is a horrible illness which takes over your life at its worst, there is not an option to "snap out of it" with clinical depression. It is an illness from which we have to recover which takes time and rest and being kind to yourself.

    My dr recommended a book which explained it well to me "depressive illness the curse of the strong". And I was directed to a "timetable for recovery on fluoxetine" - Google it- so I kinda expected a long haul.

    I didnt really started feeling much improvement til around wk 6, in fact felt worse, so its worth hanging in there a bit longer, it could be just around the corner for you. Im at around 16wks now and finally feeling more like myself but its been up and down.

    It does affect your family and its hard not to feel guilty for that but please do not blame yourself - you wouldnt if you were laid up with broken bones or glandular fever. But people understand those and know they cant be fixed quickly so do not expect you to "snap out of it". If only people had a better understanding of anxiety and depression their attitudes would change.

    Exercise is probably the best thing, in fresh air n natural surroundings of possible - definitely helps lots. Be kind to yourself and dont expect too much too quickly. Talk to those close to you if you can, we often hide our feelings n put on a brave face, much worse for men I suspect, but this can be very isolating. Keep busy and disracted and take some holidays from work if you can , do something you enjoy. Well done for applying for new jobs, good luck with that - hope it works out.

    I hope that things start to look up for you soon. This forum helps and gives a place you can voice your thoughts without any guilt, lots of people giving support ans advice to who "get" what you're going through.

    Wishing you all the best


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    • Posted

      hi Vix 

      Just having a log into read a few things. Had a good day on monday but then not good yesterday. 

      Been applying for a few jobs. Then worry about the what if i get an interview. 

      What you been upto? 


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