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Depression getting really bad

Posted , 2 users are following.

Aj1970
Aj1970

I have been depressed since June 2013, well before then really but this is when my spouse and I split and I lived with a friend in the basement for 9 months. I developed anxiety and panic disorder along with meiners disease. We kept in touch off and on every few months decided to try and make our marriage work in February 2014 and we moved back into together. She has 2 kids from a prior marriage and I have one. The problem now is the 16 year old daughter whom we went out of the way for and bought a car is so hateful and disrespectful and especially towards me she yells and screams and says I can't trust you how do I know your not lying? She has issues herself with cutting herself and attention seeking. If she doesn't get her way holy heck breaks loose. My anxiety has been getting really bad the past month to the point where I had a vertigo attack and a panic attack from it. She tries to say she has all kinds of issues and when I try to relate to her she yells it's always about you and storms off. I love my spouse but I'm to the breaking point, i was miserable being away from her but now she won't even tell her own daughter not to talk or yell at me. My bp has been high I'm on bp meds, I'm tired all the time. I feel like I'm all alone in this battle and everyone is against me except my son who stays to himself. I see a psychiatrist for all this but every med he's tried I have some kind of bad reaction too. I put my foot down and it gets me no where but a cold shoulder from my spouse and my daughter. I feel so lost I don't know what to do? I take Valium daily for the meiners but if the stress gets too bad I have an attack. Any ideas would be helpful. Lost in misery!!!!

1 like, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • elizabeth20203
    elizabeth20203 Aj1970

    Posted

    I am sorry your struggling with your health and relationships. I feel you need to concentrate on your health first. Maybe see your GP for a reveiw and ask about options other than medication.Your relationship difficulities will not help your anxiety, anxiety is worsened with negatiity which is what your experiencing with your spouse and her daughter. I don't know what meiners disease is so cannot comment on this. It does seem like your in a no win situation at the moment and unless you can sit down and talk to your spouse its unlikely to change. Sixteen is a difficult age anyway and it does sound like the daughter is rebelling and as her own issues with cutting. Your spouse may find it difficult to help her and so lets her speak to you how she wants, she may resent you if her own dad isnt around. I know this is not an easy situation, i have been in a similar situation years ago. If your spouse is willing an option is relationship counselling, thou this can be expensive. How about a break from each other but instead of thinking about the negative things, concentrate on doing things for yourself. Go to the library look up courses such as mental health or confidence and self esteem, most are free. Go swimming or the gym. Thou i know with depression this can be hard at first. Eat healthy, drink plenty of water. Try deep breathing when your anxious. Get plenty of rest, when you can try a walk in the fresh air in the park, admire the beauty around you, live in the moment, treat your body with the care it deserves, cherish yourself. I know at first this can be hard but take small steps, one thing at a time till you gradually build yourself up and hopefully you will see an improvement in your health. I hope this helps you in some small way.

    Elizabeth.     

    • Aj1970
      Aj1970 elizabeth20203

      Posted

      We were separated for 20 months we did marriage counseling, and I have a severe anxiety panic disorder along with being disabled. I'm not able to exercise or be alone. Meiners disease is like vertigo which is like being so drunk everything spins it's an inner ear disorder where your brain and you eyes don't see the same thing and communicate like a normal person. I'm home alone everyday while they go to school and work. I can't leave home without someone and when my meiners acts up I can't go out for two weeks. I lost my job and have been on disability for 3 years.
    • elizabeth20203
      elizabeth20203 Aj1970

      Posted

      I am sorry that my advice is not been helpful, i wasn't aware of you dissabilities and difficulties. However i am partially disabled myself so i have some understanding. I cannot walk far and i am in constand pain, i also live alone. I cannot really suggest anything else for your relationship apart from talking it through. Have you thought about doing some online courses to occupy yoouself and give yourself a focus. I do them and they are called futurelearn online courses. They are free to everybody. You don't need any qualifications just an interest in the subjects. I have done around a dozen myself. I have learnt lots, you can do them in your own time. Most are about six weeks and three hours a week, you can do as little or much as you want to. Yo don't gain a qualification so are under no pressure. I am about to start one called mindfulness which i think sounds interesting and will help my mental health. There are lots of subjects to suit all tastes. Give it at thought.

      Best wishes.

      Elizabeth.

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