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I feel like once I get on this subject, I'm always complaining, but I need somewhere to talk. Coming from a totally disfunctional family life, since I was 2, (that's when I first remember) my history has been filled with both physical abuse and mental abuse. I am older now - in late 50's, my mother has since departed from this earth and although, outside I manage to keep on a bubbly, happy go lucky attitude, at home the only thing I think of is leaving this earth, but making it look like an accident. This way, my husband can collect my insurance money. Now though, I am getting more than desperate. I have booked a very inexpensive motel, in another city and feel I have found the courage to do it and away to do it. I am tired of putting on this fasaud. I have had an eating disorder since nine, and am in my late 50's. It cost me the career I loved. For about 7 years I have been hanging in there, but it's a struggle. There are no psychiatrists where I live that do talk therapy, they give meds on a one time basis, then it's up to your g.p. to fill the prescriptions. I have been on the same ones for 20 years. My psychiatrist retired 12 years ago. I travelled out of town to see him. He even returned my phone calls. Even in his city, they are not taking any new patients.
I have booked a less expensive motel in another nearby city from now until they find me. I have reached the NDP of my rope. Thanks for listening.
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