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Depression is pushing my boyfriend away.

Posted , 10 users are following.

molly79614
molly79614

This is the first time I have really spoken about my depression, or really accepted that there is something wrong with me. 

I have everything that I could have ever possibly dreamed of, a home, a loving boyfriend, good friends etc and yet I am still so unhappy. Sometimes I can go a few weeks maybe even a month feeling okay and then the depression hits. It's not like there is a trigger to this, often it is the most trival things that get me down and keep me feeling low for weeks on end. 

I desperately want to open to my boyfriend about it, and have briefly tried but he just doesnt understand. His words to me were 'You have everything, what on earth have you got to be unhappy about?' And he is right, that is why I have never been able to talk to anyone about this because it seems such a pathetic thing to tell people about because I dont have a reason for being this unhappy. My boyfriend needs answers for my unhappiness and I just cant give him any answers. That fustrates him and I end up pushing him further away.

2 likes, 14 replies

14 Replies

  • gen07717
    gen07717 molly79614

    Posted

    Hi Molly, I and many others, are exactly the same.  A lovely home, loving husband, great friends etc and depressed.  Beating yourself up over the reasons why you can't be happy is not the way forward, as I have learnt.  What you need to do is see your doctor.  Medicine can really help and is no where near as frightening as you may think.  It may help to take your boyfriend with you to the doctors.  

    Try reading up on the subject too.  I found Depressive Illness, The Curse of The Strong by Tim Cantopher very helpful.

    Lastly, talk to trusted friends and family, the more support you can get the better.  So many people suffer with this awful illness, you'll be surprised how many other people that you know have also or know someone who has suffered x

    • molly79614
      molly79614 gen07717

      Posted

      Hi Gen, thank you for taking the time to reply to me, I think that is maybe why I have never made any progress, becuase I always focus on the reasons, or lack of, as to why I am so unhappy. 

      I know I need to see a Doctor about this as it is all getting too much to deal with on my own.

      Thank you for your reply, it is nice to know that I am not the only one that is going through this. 

    • gen07717
      gen07717 molly79614

      Posted

      Molly, make the appt as soon as you can.  Don't let the depression get too deep before trying to tackle it.  And keep in touch, it'd be good to know how you're getting on xx
  • UK-Ven-medicate
    UK-Ven-medicate molly79614

    Posted

    I suspect depression is not pushing your boyfriend away , if he's a decent enough guy and he sounds to be he let you sort this in your own time and let you speak when you know the answers and feel comfortable.

    You have a lot of positive to focus on from what you have put, just these blips that need controlling sooner rather than later

  • julie1111
    julie1111 molly79614

    Posted

    hi go see a doctor hun, its depression , when i was married my x use to say to me why cant you be happy alot was him but alot of it was depression, it can be beaten, ask gp about groups also so u can learn to keep it at bay... look at the video on you tube called, The black dog. hope it helps

    julie 

    • UK-Ven-medicate
      UK-Ven-medicate julie1111

      Posted

      Was Depression the cause of your split ( if its not rude of me to ask ). Just I recently got divorced and that was what broke the camels back in the end
  • lor793
    lor793 molly79614

    Posted

    Hi Molly I feel for you that your boyfriend does not understand i always think that only people who have gone through it understand. Do you have anyone else close to talk to? There is a lot if it in my family and my gran has been a saint because my grandpa had it too xz
  • carole28488
    carole28488 molly79614

    Posted

    Hi, Molly:  Just want you to know that you are not alone...I have suffered from clinical chronic depression since I was a teenager.  I am now 66 yrs. old, and I have everything I need, too, but I still have episodes where I want to get under my covers and never come out.  It is a chemical imbalance in your brain, and can only be helped with certain meds that go together.  I have a wonderful psychiatrist, who works with me on a steady basis to keep the depression under control.

    I will go for months, or even years, with no depression at all, and feeling "normal", and all of a sudden...there it is again, and it is like an elevator...I can feel my mood going down, down, down....That is why I joined this group for support.  I am retired, have a very nice home, grown children and grand children.  I have a sister, who has a different kind of depression.  Hers will go for years without popping it's ugly head, and then...poof...she's back in it...My doctor has me on four meds, which help, but she has come out and told me that it will probably never go away, just kept under control...God bless you, and I hope you find the right meds...I hope this helps....

  • annie76135
    annie76135 molly79614

    Posted

    Hi Molly I know how you are feeling. I have a lovely hubby and home and yet I have had depression for the last 2 months. 

     My hubby works hard so I do not need to work which is a relief at the moment. I look after the home but this is becoming increasingly more difficult. The depression makes me feel very tired and I have headaches so doing chores around the home is a real chore. Just want to get back to feeling better. Do you work? Take care x

  • UK-Ven-medicate
    UK-Ven-medicate molly79614

    Posted

    Your young, and you have so much time to crack the chains fo depression.

    Your boyfriend probably is worried its him causing the unhappiness ( at a pure guess ) and is frustrated cause he can't find out whether it is or not.

    Could you unhappiness be your missing something you wanted in life ? Could it be an underlying illness making you feel fatigued ? I am just try to think what it could be so that you can at least sort things.

    Maybe look at the "signs of depression" together on a website so that he can understand its not as simple as knowing. Also involving him may give him some reassurance you want his help to understand why and steer him away from worry.

    xxx

    • annie76135
      annie76135 UK-Ven-medicate

      Posted

      My hubby thought it was him that was making me unhappy until I reassured him that it wasn't. It is really important to talk. x
    • UK-Ven-medicate
      UK-Ven-medicate annie76135

      Posted

      Yep your right Annie, it the hardest thing to do but its the best and most rewards in the long run
  • sasha_49884
    sasha_49884 molly79614

    Posted

    No idea if this is still OK to talk on but if it is how did you cope? My fiance of 9 years is going through what you went through and pushing me away saying he doesn't know what he wants including me and that he is unhappy but t doesn't know why. X

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