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Around a week ago I read some article about a young man who killed himself after coming to the conclusion that there was no god and as such life is pointless. This terrified me and I suffered a terrible panic attack. Since then i have been really depressed (not really eating, just wanting to sleep all day research online about the meaning of life/ evidence for god etc). These thoughts about life and its meaning (or lack there of) are causing me major anxiety, distress and depression. I cant stop thinking that life may be meaningless if all we do is live for a short period then disappear into nothing forever and ever. People online seem to classify this as existential depression/existential ocd.Ive suffered from ocd/obsessive intrusive thoughts and anxiety for a few years now but thanks to medication (15mg of lexapro/cipralex) and therapy i'm able to live a somewhat normal life. I cant stop feeling really depressed and the anxiety of these thoughts come in waves throughout the day. Does this sound like depression? i dont want to feel like this anymore- I have a wonderful wife and beautiful daughter and need to pull myself round and be a good father and husband for them. Its like a switch has been flicked and all the light has went out of the world and im worried I will never feel happiness again. I have a appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow and i'm hoping I get a stonger dosage of meds or something. I have contacted my former therapist also. Has anyone experienced this or something similar? Am I losing my mind of is it ocd and depression?
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