Depression or not?

Posted , 7 users are following.

I went on Fluoxetine in 2005 when my son was diagnosed with cancer.  I've been on 40 mgs daily since then.  My son died this week, 4 years ago.  I retired last summer and we moved to a new location.  Life has been good.  I went off fluoxetine cold turkey in October.  Outside of a few heaches and dreams I did ok.  It's been two months since I've been off and I think it's finally out of my system.  However I noticed that since last week I have broken out in tears (something I haven't done in years) and have  become very irritable and keep finding fault with my sister.  I'm picking on things that she does and getting mad at her.  i am attributing it to the fact the day my son died is on December 30th and I'm getting depressed.  However, coud it be that since this is all out of my system now I am really back to being depressed and its not the fact that the anniversary is this week?  I plan to remain off the drug at least until mid January and see how things go.  Any opinions on whether this will last or if its temporary.  All I do is sit in the house and eat.  Thanks for reading this.

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11 Replies

  • Posted

    I am so sad you lost your son.

    All I can tell you is that Iwas on fluoxetine 20mg for 6 years.   I came off it not because I wanted to, but because my sodium level was low on a routine blood test which was attributed probably correctly to the drug.    I came of it October 2014..... And I was reasonably ok u til the beginning of 2015... But since then I have suffered the worst depression and anxiety I have ever known.     I think that coming off the anti depressant certainly made everything much worse than it had ever been before taking it.   Although doctors stress they are not addictive I dispute it....

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    • Posted

      Maybe you are right.  As I did, you came off in October.  It is almost the beginning of 2016 and this may be exactly what is happening to me.  I was doing fine until now.  Do you have any muscle aches along with the return of the depression?  i've developed some during the past two months.  Are you back on anything now?

       

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  • Posted

    Hi Ali: I am so sorry about your son. What a horrible thing to have to go through. I used to take Prozac, for 20 years. About 4 months after I got off of it I started to get depressed again. Now I take Escitalopram. ( I don't recommend it because of the side effects and it's hard to safely get off of it.)

    I think your idea is good. Wait til mid Jan. And see how you feel. You could perhaps take a lower dose than before, like 20 mg. if it works for you. (I am not a psychiatrist just another patient so that's just my own idea.)

     I hope everything works out for you. My mother died in 2012 and I know how difficult it is to loose someone. It takes time and crying is normal. It would be really good if you could find a support group you could meet with in person, to talk about grief. I have thought that for myself but don't know where to look .

    Take care

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    • Posted

      Thank you Kim for your kind words.  The whole time I was on prozac I never cried.  If I did it was rare.  I also am having body pains, ankle joints, and fingers. Could be a coincidence.   I will speak with my doctor.  Thanks again.

       

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  • Posted

    Hi Ali

    bless you, so very sorry to hear about your son's passing. I cannot begin to imagine how painful this is for you.

    Looking through your post, it does sound like the beginning of health issues. You are right in respect of it could be down to your son's anniversary, but I'm tempted to say I think there may be more to it.

    Are you going to make an appointment with your gp? I think this would be a good idea. Sometimes if we leave things because of the belief that these feelings/behaviour will settle down, it can make things much worse for ourselves and importantly our health. It may be something as simple as withdrawals from your last medication. I hear this can take a few months to completely leave your body. Either way please get yourself an appointment with the doc, so things don't get left unresolved/untreated.

    God bless you Ali. So sorry you have suffered like this xx

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  • Posted

    Dear Ali.

    The death of a son is painful which takes time to heal, and never completly. I hope you will be out of drug soon and do not be too hard on you.

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  • Posted

    Hi Ali,

    Anniversaries of painful losses can be very emotional times. I see this in myself and others around me who I know are not depressed otherwise. I was diagnosed with suicidal depression in October 2014 and have gone cold turkey on two meds that either weren't helping or were making things much worse (I wouldn't recommend cold turkey to anyone but the individual knows their own body and what it can cope with). At the moment I am not on any meds (they have been out of my system since September) and I'm finding I have more positive days than dark days. However, I can be very sensitive to other people's behaviour (oversensitive they would say!) and very emotional and tearful if the circumstances are appropriate. Can I ask what kind of relationship you normally have with your sister? Hopefully she understands that this is a particularly difficult time of year for you as you remember your loss (I know you will feel the loss each day). It's good to read that you have made a fresh start in retirement and been able to write that "life is good". This speaks of hope for the future and a confidence in the life that you now have. Are there still things that you are looking forward to in the new year? If you are active, could you get out for some walks and spend some meditative, quiet time with nature (or whatever relaxes and distracts you)? I'm hoping that you will rediscover your mojo without the need for medication, but there is no shame if your doctor thinks this is a necessary step. Listen to your own body, treat it gently and give yourself time. Let us know how you get on. Sending you a BIG hug.

    Digsby x

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    • Posted

      You said "overly sensitive to other peoples behavior".  That is exactly what I am feeling.  Normally my sister is fine but lately I get hurt and angry at things she does.  I am going to see my doctor in mid January. if he feels I need to I will go back on the meds.  If not, I will fight through it.  Thanks for your thoughts.
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    • Posted

      If depression has taught me one thing it is to be more "mindful" and not react so instantly to what others do and say. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt, without turning myself into a doormat. However, it improves relationships all round if I can give myself some breathing space when I feel hurt or criticised. If writing your feelings down helps then that might be a positive step. Don't feel guilty for the way that you feel though - you have a right to your emotions and dealing with them in a healthy way is something every single person has to learn in their own way. Hugs xx
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  • Posted

    Hi,

    I am really sorry to hear about your son.

    I would speak with your gp.

    I would also try and talk to someone about your son as this might help too.

    Your sister will understand but let her know you are struggling with things. She may not be able to help but at least she can try to understand.

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