Derealisation in CFS

Hi Lynne,

I agree with you, there is so much doom and gloom in the media isn't there!!!  I follow politics but try not to be obsessed as that can get you down too.  Animals can be so lovely can't they, in times of trouble.  When my sister had cancer, a couple of cats got through her catflap (she lost too of her cats through ill health whilst she was coping with cancer), and they used to lie on her bed with her, after her chemo!  I am sure that's what got her through.  I wish I could have an animal where I live.  Your little dog sounds gorgeous, and focus on his or her love for you and the comfort too.

Oh boy - I LOVE the film, "Barefoot In The Park" - isn't Robert Redford gorgeous!!!!  I also love the 1964 film, "Sex And The Single Girl" with the equally gorgeous, Tony Curtis and Natalie Wood (Boy, they don't make men like that any more do they!!!).  I am into 1950's and early 1960's movies as they were so positive and upbeat, and beautiful.

My hero since I was 15 in 1975 is James Dean.  I was hoping to go to the James Dean Festival this September (I've booked a 4-day trip to Indiana already) with Pension that was paid out to me, but if I have to go for chemo, then there'll be no holiday.  It would be my first holiday in 16 years too!!  Never mind, onwards and upwards and optimism, though I am a realist like you, more than anything.

I think that there's something more to M.E. because it was rare for people to have it prior to the 1980's.  Of course there are folk who did have it then, but it seems to be more prominent now than ever before???  Forgive me if I am wrong?

My sister says too that there are people who are worse, but I really can't think in that context, because although there ARE, it's no help to me or my pain etc, nor I expect to others with ailments?

Thank you for your lovely comments and well wishes, which I give to you too.  Lets hope that soon, they may come up with a cure or prevention of M.E./CFS eh.

Keep up that sense of humour and especially hope too.

Best wishes, Val. x

l do think our immune systems are not as good, more allergic people and more with immune condition,s like me cfs fibro lupus, like all our body systems some have better than others.  l hope you get on your holiday, l was doing a post to elaine, and like many of us, we rarely get on holidays, something else most take for granted, and even a weekend away to different scenery does us good, but with fatigue conditions its overcoming the restrictions and managing it, anyway l hope you do, have you had a biopsy, are you waiting for results, l guess youll know the system well from your sister, l got C many years ago, but l and many now do respond well to treatment, l,d a bad year, but got it over with and still stayed quite active, didnt linger  for years like these immune diseases, l guess l was lucky, l hope your sister is doing well.  l do enjoy a good comedy, not into horrors, actions, l did love The big country in action films, l even like Gregory Peck, just looked on tv now, as soon as l see steven seagall van diesel, not my sort of films, they cater for men more than women.

l do understand not relating to being told there were worse off than us, l couldnt relate to it either, its a bit like the, your only blind, l,m blind and deaf, your lucky youve only one leg off, lve two, you can go on forever, and of course it doesnt change our lot, but l do read of some on here with multiple health diseases, and think omg, theyre worse than me.

so glad l dont have thier lot in life, but with these conditions always the fear theyll get worse, l cant imagine ever being bedfast or how it feels

l couldnt live without hope, good luck to those that dont have any hope or faith, l need it, along with a few laughs.  Fancy you being massive fan of James Dean, he didnt get to do many pics, think he was a rebel, l loved George Harrison. Hope you get to his event, take care lynne 

I agree with you both about others worse off. How is that supposed to cheer us up? I wouldn't wish this on anyone, let alone anything worse. It just makes me feel sad for anyone with worse health problems.

I think it's a selfish way of looking at the world. I'm ok if they're not sort of thing!

I understood from a neurologist that derealisation is a bodily/brain response deisgned to protect you. That makes sense in CFS if your body is constantly on 'high alert'. I know from people who have recovered that the sensation goes along with the CFS. Meditation/mindfulness makes a lot if sense if it can succeed in calming down the body. Thanks for the responses.

i think some neuro,s say seretonin can control the brains responses,   as with people who have accidents, no memory of it often, but all very complex,, as we humans are.   good luck finding answers. 

Hi Jackie,

My GP referred me to a 6 week mindfulness course, it was a local group once a week and helped a lot - not just the mindfulness but group support too, as there were a couple of people there who have suffered from CFS/ME for years. The meditation practices clear your mind, and helped me realise that even low level stress or anxiety can drain energy from you really quickly. I hadn't realised how stressed I had often been feeling at work.  

Thanks..very helpful.

The trigger for me was a bad double flu episode. In retrospect I think there was signs of CFS for some years leading up to that.....largely caused by stress from work which I failed to recognise. Have struggled to work full time over the past three years...going part time from July.

Have been undergoing psychotherapy for two years ....hasn't yet brought about the improvement I had hoped.

 

That is so helpful to read!

This forum is such a help for gaining reassurance that others do experience similar problems and have suggestions for how they dealt with them!

Until antand23 started this discussion, I'd not even considered that the derealisation state that I experienced 2-3 yrs ago, after my daughter was severely ill and admitted to hospital, could have been related to early stage of CFS/me! Knowing now that I was under too much stress with work and then my daughter becoming so ill, combined with having a viral illness is when I believe my CFS/me started.

Thanks for talking about this.

Best wishes to all of us so that we can hopefully manage our illnesses effectively.

X

Hi Bev,

Hope you got through my long ramble yesterday, sign l was having a decentish day.  Woke today with the horrendous shoulder wrist pain and feeling really off it along with it, you know the feeling flushed tired sleepy. so not much rambling today, But very grey and damp out, doesnt look healthy,  so wondered how you are today, if your having a bad day, or ok one, you do wonder about posters who are on regular, l notice lillian, elaine werent well friday and not on, often wonder if there is some pattern, not exact of course, just simularities.  But if you tell me youve had a really good day, theory going west lol, but glad for you if your are, take care lyn

Hi antand23,

Glad to hear you're able to go part time in a couple of months as maybe this could help with your symptoms. I 've not been able to return to work and as my symptoms can be quite challenging, I often wonder how people manage to work at all with this.

That's a difficult one with the psychotherapy. Our expectations can often be a stumbling block to the change we would like.

On a different note, do you still have hobbies you can do that you still enjoy/have the energy for? I find trying to keep normality a difficult one when energy can so quickly be lost. I believe that keeping things as normal as possible Is needed to keep our spirits up, as the saying goes.

Beverley

Hi Elmo,

It sounds like you got a double whammy that triggered the condition for you. I guess maybe your system was already under stress and maybe the virus was just the tipping point. How hard also to have your daughter ill and be ill yourself. Hope she's ok now?

Hope your day goes well

Beverley

Hi Lynne,

Yesterday wasn't too bad but rested in bed till dinnertime. Went with friend to take photos for a presentation they were doing using my camera and walked more than usual which, I am now paying for. We also went to a bar for a drink which had loud music so, the combination of all things I feel got me here today. I had another issue with my vision where everything goes almost white in just one eye. If I keep It closed, it takes just a few minutes for It to get back to normal. I get the visual auroral migraine and think its part of that?

Sorry to hear your suffering again shoulder/wrist. Mine's leg and wrist. Walking and chopping vegetables! Today I need to rest and be gentle with myself. Hope you can rest well today too.

Beverley

Hi Beverley, Glad you had a decent day, sounds a bit near normality and think thats so important. l,d severe pain all yesterday, but at least got to see my son, he came to do an errand for me, chemist and shopping. 

Today the pains eased, thank goodness, but dull damp day out again. 

Speaking of camera,s, my son got a very expensive one for his bday in march, brilliant telephoto, he took me to local nature reserve l love, meant walking 2yyds from parked car, with rest stops, still on trying to take pics my hands were tremmory, he was suprised, feared for his camera l think. On looking on another site, a post from someone who,s finally got to see specialists and got diagnoses of fibro, carpal tunnel, along with another condition, she,s at least relieved for diagnoses, below will post the other condition, new one to me, we live and learn.  Let me know what you think.

 

*hypersensitivity syndrome

environmental disease Fringe medicine

A hypothetical polysymptomatic condition attributed by so-called “clinical ecologists” to immune dysregulation induced by contaminants (e.g., allergens and chemicals, including pesticides and petrochemicals) present in the air, water, food and soil that cause poor nutrition, infection, hereditary factors, and physical and psychological stress, resulting in various physical and mental disorders. Clinical ecologists believe that the immune defects caused by environmental disease lead to mood and thought disorders, psychotic episodes and fatigue; vaguely defined gastrointestinal, respiratory and urinary tract symptoms; rashes; arthritis-like symptoms; and cardiac arrhythmias. Psychiatric disorders (e.g., depression, anxiety and somatisation) are reported to be 2.5-fold greater in those with environmental disease, suggesting that the condition is not entirely organic in nature. ps, what do they mean `not entirely organic in nature` are they agreeing its genuine or being cynical, 

Anyway take care 

lyn

I still manage a round of golf, nirnally once a week and walking....sometimes quite long distances. The fact that I can do so does make me wonder sometimes whether I really have CFS, but I suppose it is individual to a large extent. Not too much energy for much else, but ...as most of my social contact is through work...I want to keep that unless it is completely beyond me. Cheers

Hi Lynne - had rubbish weekend, drained after infection, only thing I managed to do was make a pot of soup. Slept in till about 10 this morning but am finally starting to fell a bit more with it. Managed to hoover earlier so quite pleased with that as house starting to look like dog kennel with fur! Found the comment you just made really interesting. Have never heard of this condition but have often wondered if there could be any link to chemicals, pollutants, etc weakening the immune system which could lead to M.E. or other illnesses. Before I got ill I never had any fillings but ended up needing a few amalgam ones done all at once. Shortly after this I got flu then glandular fever and have never been right since. Have often wondered if there was any link to the fillings as they release mercury  into you mouth which is a toxin. Also when I moved house a few years ago it was close to a power station and I developed asthma when I was about 40 even though I'd never had it before. Moved house again away from power station and my asthma is now much improved - hardly bothers me at all now. Does make you wonder just how much environmetal factors and chemicals do affect your health. Hope you are having a good day.                                                  

Hi Lynne, 

Glad today is less painful and you got out with the camera. I like it when I can have out days but, today is an in day because of yesterday for me ! i just read a post by someone in "is this CFS?" (I think) which totally links to what you are saying here ! as they changed their surroundings sympoms improved. 

Hope that helps

beverley

Hi Antand,

It is such a fluctuating illness thst I find it hard to gauge . I believe it is individual too and symptoms can appear, disappear etc. I'm glad you are able to have the round of golf still. Social contact is important but, sometimes I really can't engage in worthwhile dialogue so, am happy to to rest and hopefully improve. 

Also, I think the "maybe I've not got cfs/me" is a classic feeling whenever there are signs that say we are ok for a while. At the beginning I kept spending hours applying for jobs thinking, I'm ok, I need to be working, only to crash the next day unable to string a sentence and i'd think what was I thinking???? For me, the golden rule is that If I manage three months symptom free then, I'm on the road to being ok. Seeing as at present I can't seem to manage a few hours, guess I've got a bit of a wait : D 

Also the NHS say there are three levels of CFS/ME:

mild (can function but not as normal with the classic unrefreshing sleep and may need days off work to rest)

Moderate  (you may have reduced mobility, and your symptoms can vary; you may also have disturbed sleep patterns and need to sleep in the afternoon)

Severe (you're able to carry out minimal daily tasks, such as brushing your teeth, but have significantly reduced mobility, and may also have difficulty concentrating)

Hope that helps

Beverley

Hi Elaine, Glad your improving, l thought you must have been ill over weekend, as with Lillian, you both were ill Friday night, and thats how it is, if worse were off mbs and we understand whats happening. l,m the same of course with dog and cat, hairs all over, my son freaks out when he visits, sits down and he,s hairs on his smart clothes, oops, it even annoys me if l wear black, but its having pets, worth it. l was thinking of trying one of those `sticky buddies`, as on ads, you just roll over floor sofa, pick up hairs and rinse out.  Part of my life now is looking for labour saving devices, l just about manage to keep home tidy, surface clean, but deep cleaning out the streaky windows, we do our best. lve moved a few times, about 8 in all over 40yrs, l lived in a small rural village on hillside, no probs, moved to suburbs side of main road in valley bottom started with severe allergic rhinitus also penicillin allergy at simular time, that seemed to be the start of allergies immune probs, l moved after a year up the hillside again and rhinitus improved, but later had to move and since then its like the times have caught up wherever l am in this area, quite a congested valley.  My allergens all seem to hav formheldahyde in. commonly used in many things, we all have different things were allergic to, l mentioned it to doc and she said she,d never heard of it, how can a dr, medical student not have heard of formeldyde

Failing winning the lottery l,m stuck here, asked doc to prescribe me a month in caribean, they say mauritius cleanest air, that will do, but no go.  Anyway glad your feeling better, forecast for warm settled sunshine soon, so we can at least enjoy that, even if just sat in the garden its a pleasure.   Hope your cystitus has settled, take care.

Hope youve had a day of r and r, getting ready for the sunny weather forecast.  You do wonder about envoiramental toxins, some just more vunerable that others, not greatest immune systems. l wouldnt have the energy to move again, finish me off. near did last move, l,d have to win the lottery to move again.  Lets hope we all feel a bit better when weather improves, sunshine forecast, need it.

take care, lyn

Am feeling much better than I was. Stopped antibiotics as not agreeing with me and drank loads of water and took painkillers instead. Still feel a bit sick but appetite coming back now. I seem to be allergic to loads of thing since getting M.E. Can't wear perfume or put anything scented on my body, start sneezing if I go near anyone with perfume, bleach and some cleaning products make me feel short of breath so have to open windows if using, had sore throat one time and tried a Strepsil sweet and it gave me an asthma attack, no good with scented candles, had bad reaction to herbal and homeopathic remedies I tried. Won't bore you with anymore examples but have decided just to stick with good food, fresh air and old fashioned natural cleaners. My current house is across the road from the sea which I can see from window and like opening window to let in sea air as I feel it helps me. Unfortunately a neighbour has installed a wood burning stove and the smoke blows into house now when it's on and it gives me a sore head and feel bit out of breath when it's on so need to keep windows shut when it's on! Could't cope with moving again unless I win the lottery and find my dream house!!! 

PS - Stopped typing as Corrie came on. Regarding housework when I lost me job I felt guilty not working so was using all my energy trying to do everything in house so my husband wouldn't have to do anything as he's at work all day. Result clean house - me no energy to do anything else. Now I do some housework but keep some energy to do things I enjoy. Result untidy house but I'm happier and my husband's happier as I have energy left to do things with him too and he doesn't really care what the house looks like anyway!!

l,m a bit the same with the allergies, quite a lot of things set me off, usually instand congestion and coughing, dry tickly cough as if gravel in my throat, some detergens, some toiletries, building stuff, plaster cement dust, diesel fumes, if on pavement nearby and engine running. Last year neighbour left wood burning, must have been coughing on and off an hour, worse the bbq coals. l,d to shut the window, and still felt it in my throat. My house isnt as clean as l,d like by a long way, l had a touch of ocd with keeping things tidy, not quite as bad as Monica on friends, recall when she went to the flat of her bros date after he,d told her abouit the mess, now have to let a lot go, l def wont wear my strongest specs whilst looking around, blinkers on.  l,d def rather have a walk on the beach with my partner than clean. Good job you dont live in a built up area or city centre with your allergy, l think the coastal areas or very rural will be best for allergy,s, clean air, lot gets blown away, l,m in a valley and it just stays. A friend and family moved from our congested area to hunstanton in norfolk, he,d poor health on leaving, but his health got much better in hunstanton, must be nice to open window and let sea breezes in. Youll be enjoying beach walks more as forecast to warm up. 

My neighbour next door had a bbq not long ago on a Sun afternoon when the weather was nice. They had it on all afternoon for about 3 hours and the smoke was blowing intoo our garden. Made me feel ill so had to sit inside with windows shut (and could still smell it) when I could have been enjoying the sun outside. Was too tired to go anywhere else so stuck inside on a nice day. Luckily they don't have them all the time! Feel a bit better today so am going to try going for a walk later along the prom and get some fresh air. It's sun and cloud here today but quite windy. Took dog and front yesterday and it came on hailstones - felt so sorry for him struggling to come back up the path blinking away trying to get away from them. He got a cuddle and extra treat when he got inside. He can only manage out front of house now so have to go walking on my own which isn't the same at all. I'm up north so don't think we'll get much heat here till the end of the week but it it stays dry would be a bonus!! 

Just re-read my post and bits don't make sense but you'll know what I mean. Yesterday my mind felt quite sharp but body still tired but today feel like my brain is still asleep but have more physical energy. It's a weird illness!!!

Hi Lynne,

No! I sadly did too much yesterday and have to go out tomorrow and am feeling a bit anxious that I need to rest better today. Luckily just my legs are aching but, brain fog, wobbling, nausea, not making sense-have those alright!

How about you today?

Beverley

l hope when people read my posts they make allowances for missed off letters, even words. Think some of us need to be like the Chnese and japapanese and wear masks to filter out the allergens, imagine we,d be thought stange, or stranger.  lve had that when a couple of my dogs got old, they could only walk about 50yrs, or wander in the garden, walking without them doesnt feel right, somethings missing. l woke this morning felt shattered, slept an hour within an hour of getting up, willed myself to supermarket to get a neededm, just hard going, back home slept another hour, still fatigued aching, fit for nothing much, shame as its quite nice out, but still a bit cold. bought some bizzie lizzie big type ones, These bad days are terrible, mentally as well as physically, l think its not knowing what the bottom line is with it, but been here many times before and so far touch wood, the following day is a bit better, really helps coming on mb, as you will know other people havent a clue, and often come out with flip cliche,d responses, to listen to some small minded idiots you,d think everything was a state of mind, and we can will all away, they watch too much tv hype, but heard it all before going back years, and seen same people come down with their own serious health problems that restricts them and quietens them, its Karma, dont tempt fate.  l hope Brody is ok today, feel l,m getting attached to him,loving dogs, have yuo a pic of him.   When feeling rough l lose my appetite with it, maybe toast. Take care lyn

Sound a bit like you, did too much yesterday, went for it, as we often do, today woke feeling battered, slept twice for an hour, after getting up, still the symptoms as you have stated above, including the bouts of nausea, and off my food due to it, eyes sore, gagging thirst,  think its just extremes of tiredness, so despite extra sleep still feeling a bit zombieish, l live in hope for tomorrow, maybe saving myself for the sunny days. l hope you improved, and hope l do, as l also want to go out tomorrow, take care lyn

Hi Lynne,

Yes, I too hope for tomorrow. It can get quite hard to remain ok with it some days unfortunately. Today I'm helping my friend finish this art project but have rested quite a bit. I went to local shop with daughter, I really can't carry anything, but felt so ill going and it bothers me re tomorrow when I do have to go out.

I wish I could still have the sense of the hours. Like the feeling that its dusk or dawn or four oclock in the afternoon! Now its constantly 3am even if its sunny outside. I'm looking at the time and its 7.30. Seems bizarre as I don't feel it at all. With the walk to the shop, my legs ache so much now and its not even that far. They're tingling and hurt at the ankle. Most frustrating : /

I go away next weekend to the new forest and I'm seriously wondering about taking my wheel chair. I can't use it on my own so would have to rely on my friend to push me. It's a family thing and I have two meals to attend. I only just realized how concerned I am about all of It. Its because today has felt harder than I'd have liked I guess.

I think I might get some plants online for the pots outside, have you ever tried getting them online? I never have.

Lets hope for a little sunshine tomorrow and to wake feeling less unwell.

Best wishes

Beverley

Again ditto, cant beleive how shattered l feel today, and yes going to supermarket made it worse. My sense of time is all over the place, more so if very tired  and fall asleep , wake up with no sense of time,sometimes even if am or pm.  Well sounds like you could have lovely weather at teh new forest, which should make it better. is yours a manual wheelchair, or do they still need pushing if electric, my son suggested one for me, as he sees how l struggle in town on walking about,added to the problem now is with closures and cut backs it can be quite signigicant distances between shops you need, special things, be it bday card, watch strap, even post office and boxes not as many, makes it harder.  When l set off its like planning a military expeditioin, l said to my son l can study for over an hour, do l go out, which route, what can l deal with today, and what can be left, plus councils dont provide enough benches, all in  clusters in same places, then hundres of yards with none, whilst at it, supermarkets nothelpful in having benches outside, worried about drunks no doubt, so why do the majority have to have policies based on minority anti social, Better stop be on my soapbox next, getting grumpy with it. ive not tried online plants, most everything things else, but do like buying plants, even if for just a small area of tubs baskets, looks nice if sat out, hate bare scrub lawns, now more common trend, pity,   l understand your feelings about setting off, felt same myself many times, sometimes its all unfounded, sometimes not so much, but sounds it will be lovely new forest in fine weather, take it easy this week and really hope youve a good time, r and r and sunshine. 

Take care lyn

Sorry to hear you're having a bad day. Totally understand how you feel - been there so many times! For some bizarre reason I've had a really good day today - the best for months. I manged to hoover upstairs, had lunch, went for 15 min walk (came on rain so I came back or could have walked further), still had bit energy so did mini yoga stretches and 20 min relaxation, rested, watched bit TV, made easy tea - weirdly had some energy after tea and went for 25 min walk! Shattered now and will probably pay for it the rest of the week but can't believe I did all that in one day. Am wondering if I don't normally rest enough as have been forced to rest the last few days and not been out anywhere since last Thurs (apart from docs on Fri). Think the yoga seems to give me boost of energy too, used to feel a bit better when I did it before but not really managed to do any for ages. Other people really don't understand what it's like. Someone said to me once "why don't you join a gym and get yourself fit"!!! I haven't bought any plants for my pots yet - been too cold to think about it - not sure whether to bother this year or not. Brodie loves being in his garden but not sure if he'll still be here in the summer and won't be able to face sitting in the garden on my own wihout him at first - really dreading losing him. He's not that great today - my neighbours dog snapped at him for some reason and he got a fright and fell over. Neighbours dog is a rescue dog she's not had long and has started being funny with other dogs so will try and avoid it from now on. Not sure how you put pictures on here as not great with computers which is a pity as I have loads of great photos of him! I lose my appetite too when not feeling great, try and make food then don't really have energy to eat it. Get plenty of rest and be good to yourself and hopefully you'll pick up again soon. Hope you get a good nights sleep.  

Hope your day is okish so far, l still  feel very tired, but early yet for me to come round, living in hope will feel okish by afternoon, as looks to be lovely day out, so would like to go into garden, or town,  time will tell. Glad you had a good day, those days are brilliant, just to feel something near normal and get mutli things done, so much for docs who think it phycalogical, as if anyone would want to feel so bad, its great to have energy and achieve, so many have it and take it for granted, l guess l did also, but when your without it most of time, its the biggest buzz to even have the odd days.  l guess the warmer weather will make Brody more tired, they feel it with their big fur coats, my Tally did, sorry brody is failing, maybe vet can give him some steroids to keep him going longer, and build him up, its difficult, l found with tally and other dogs lve had on reaching 13-14yrs its going to vets meds sometimes help sometimes dont, to be cynical, best age for vets business,s when dogs get older and owners desperate to keep them going.  l let Tally go on too long, she,d lost use of her legs on 2 or 3 occassions for a day or two, but got her going again, on last time she couldnt get up again even with vets meds, l literally cleaned up after her, she was still eating well, still barking when someone came to the door, still wagging her tail and smiling, aware, just couldnt walk, l hung on with her, finally had to call it a day and get vet out.  But if brody can still get out a bit he can maybe go on a while with meds.  l think you just click on the mountain symbol at top of section for pics.  Well l guess youll be having a walk on the beach today, be lovely and fresh when warm, going to get a drink, wash my hair and try to wake up, says temps will be mid 20s by the weekend, hope we can all enjoy it, take care lyn

It's very difficult with older dogs as you get so attached to them you don't want to let them go. I think you always know when the time is right. Brodie gets metacam (anti-inflammatory) in morning and tramadol at night so he sleeps quite a lot. A couple of months ago his legs gave way on prom and he couldn't get up. Was awful. Had to go home and get blankets and extra painkillers. Luckily another dog walker was there who works in a vets and she helped up get him home. Really thought that was it. We got vet out to house next day and she tried accupunture on him to give him one last chance and the next day he was walking about like nothing had happened - cost a fortune to get her out to house but he's worth it. He was getting accupunture last year and it really helped him for a while but became less effective as time went on. He's not too bad today - steady ploddy (like me!!). He still plays with toys in house, barks and is eating and drinking normally so keep him going as long as I feel he still has quality of life. On a happier note glad you seem a bit better today - hopefully you will manage to get out in the sun. I always think the heat helps with the pain as long as it's not too hot. No sun here today but at least it's dry. Am sore and tired after yesterday but am going to try and go to shop. Hope you have a good day!!

Hi Lynne,

Well, bizarrely , I'm having a good day ???!! it can sometimes feel very strange when the previous days have been such an uphill struggle. Yesterday, I was having trouble breathing with it and My legs hurt so much. Today, I've been up and down energy wise, less pain and so feel quite good at the moment.

Yes, I agree, not enough seats/ places to rest and doors are made to try you in my opinion! if you have little energy/physical strength/small children/buggy or other wheeled device, you just aint getting into some places without a fight. 

I like my pots outside but because I can't carry things, I'm left with needing people to go with me, who then don't like the amount of plants i want to buy/they need to carry. I find seedlings need too much watering and cant do the whole water can. 

Part of me is looking forward to the New Forest, but that other part knows that payback can be quite harsh for me. I went to windermere last year and I managed to do things I can't at home whilst there but, when I got back... it was like it was all a dream. Everything ached, my brain wouldn't work etc for a good few weeks. I asked the doctor and CFS/ME specialist nurse about a wheelchair for bad days as i was getting where I would have to miss out on being outdoors. So, its one that I cannot wheel myself. It was a huge step for me (much like needing to get a cleaner in) I like most people, enjoy my independence.

I have orthodontist with youngest tomorrow and CFS/ME clinic friday. I'm hoping I'm ok for both but, I will change the CFS/ME to a telephone call if I feel bad. 

being out in the sunshine was lovely today. Did you manage to get out a little? I don't much like full sun but, today had a breeze here which was refreshing. 

Best wishes

Beverley

Hi Glad you had a really good day, goodness know we need them now and again. Mine wasnt, woke up very tired, more than the usual, will power to get up moving, very stiff and achy, did come round a little slowly but surely, and of course lovely day out, so wanted to get out in it, knowing how l felt l should have just spent time in the  garden but went against my own instincts or common sense and went into town, walked too far, and its the worst lve felt, really bad, l guess l,m not on my own in feeling not just serious fatigue pain but with it become tense anxious even embarressed, hoping no one see,s me l know, what a way to feel, l,d only been in 3 or 4 shops distance l50yds with rests, , last one had bags of woodbark, which l wanted for the garden, l,d got it on trolley with help, then got taxi driver to lift it in and out  of taxi again, drop into garden for me, but so relieved to get in and  flop, now l know how a dog on a chain feels, go too far and you get yanked back.   l just cant believe how little it takes to make me fatigued in pain, l really am hopeless at pacing, but l,m going to have to learn and do it. Have you felt so overcome with fatigue and pain when out in public and felt anxious, just uncomfortable and embarressed, is that usual.  l,ll listen to my body more in future and take heed. Sorry for long moan after youve had such a good day, and despite it l,m feeling more comfy now, been watching my favourite vet, supevet, and relaxing, feels good. Forecast to be warmer tomorrow and weekend, Sunday into the 20s, l really understand what you mean about a big step to get a wheelchair and cleaner, there comes a point when you know its essential so you can make th best of your time and reasonable well being days. So easy day for me in the garden tomorrow, just gentle planting not carrying wood bark, or a bit at a time,   think we need a slave. Really hope all goes well for you to get to the New Forest over the weekend, there was a prog on about the New Forest and Art last night. the breeze under the trees will be lovely to sit under.   l dont  like sitting in baking sun, but a nice breeze or shady suits, dont forget to take a big floppy sun hat with you. Take Care  lynnex

 

Hope your day went well after going to shops, l went into town and felt so fatigued with aches and pains, felt awful, and you cant imagine how you look to others, l know it shouldnt matter, but nobody likes looking a wreck, maybe we dont, jsut feel as if we do, l felt uncomfortable and just wanted to get home, it was nice out, but maybe should have just pottered in the garden, listened to my body instincts, will try to pace myself better in the future, its not easy after a lifetime of doing what you want when you want, Anyway got r and r once home, feel a bit better for it, so will take it easy tomorrow, forecast to be warm again, so just potter in the garden.  l,m glad Brodie had a good day, and his past treatments helped him, l think my dog tally went on a couple of years or more from her first failure, short lived one,  l know the feeling as Tally was also a large dog, too big to pick up and carry, its hard for them as theyre distressed at not being able to get up, but its good he can still play in the house, so must be happy.  Well l hope your trip out was more successful than mine, and returning from it.  Had to laught at your sayhing he,s steady ploddy like you, brodie, l def felt like a dog on a chain today, went too far and got yanked back, talk about perimeters.  Well tomorrows another day, sunshine r and r, hope you get some sunshine too, take care lyn

Morning Lynne, glad you managed to get out yesterday. I go places a lot  when I know I'm not really up it to but have to get out house or I'd go mad. Can feel like you're in prison if you end up stuck in the house for days.I often feel a mess too when out, but I'd rather use my energy to get out than take ages getting ready then I'd be too tired to go!! I went to shop yesterday and felt shattered afterwards. Had to wait for delivery in afternoon which never turned up till about 5 so spend all afternoon trying to stay awake when really could have done with a sleep. Was really sensible and had early night instead.Might try a walk today If I can. There is a young foal in a field nearby and would like to see how he's getting on. First saw him when he was only 3 days old and only managed to see him twice since so am going to aim to walk along there. Vague bits of sun here but mostly cloudy and windy. Was hoping Brodie could have got in garden today but might improve later hopefully. Hope you enjoy you're pottering day and get some sun!

Sent you a normal message and don't know why it is being moderated. Maybe I've made silly typing mistake? Not properly awake yet. Hopefully you'll get it later. Hope you have a good day!

Hi Elaine, Hope youve had a decent day, managed your walk and saw the foal,  horses, my second favourite animal after dogs, always wanted to have a pony  when growing up, who doesnt, but desperate to have riding lessons at nearby stables, but my parents were quite poor and they were expensive, so had to pretend, on back of sofa, but still l ove horses.  Been quite warm and settled, but didnt go out just into garden and still did some jobs. cant help myself, feel a bt tired and achy, see what tomorrow brings.  l,d find it very difficult to stay in all the time, in winter we get out less, more so with health problems, but manage about 3 days and going stir crazy, bored, frustrated, just as hard as stayig in all the time is not doing jobs, again with the fine weather there is gardening jobs, lve really just tidied maintenance, but will be looking for a cheap handyman, if such exists, to do heavy jobs, hedge cutting pruning etc.

l try to keep tidy and comfortable, live in trousers, comfy top,  look in mirror couple of times a day to comb my hair, thats about my lot, Cant waste energy on changing and the rest every two minutes, as if anyone would notice anyway, so comfort first. lve kept thinking its fridday today for some reason, they say its to be really hot at the weekend, its been warm here, dulling in a bit now,  When it was nice l bathed the dog, she hates it, lve to put her on the lead anf restrict her, just put warm water through hose pipe on her, shampoo, rinse off, clean and smells fresh, for how long, wont be long, she loves rolling on her back, tosses treats about jumps on them, then rolls on them, l dread to think what she thinks it is, being a terrier, and not coming to me for a year, l dont know what her past was, maybe taken her out, let her chase small furry animals, no way l,d let her do that,  wouild hate it, so she pretends with treats, she loves the rawhide things.  Well hope you had a decent day, think the allergens are increasing also, snuffly today also. But got some sunshine vit d.   Take care lyn

Hi Lynne, managed my walk and really enjoyed it. Was like going on a little nature trail. Saw the foal and he came right over to the fence and I was patting him - he's gorgeous! He's got bigger since I last saw him, legs not so spindly and filling out a bit. Walked past field through trees up to old church, saw different colours of wild flowers and a squirrel! Rested at church and looked at view - really peaceful there, no-one about, no noise - could just hear wind in trees and birds. Came back different route along side of beach and saw pair of swans that are often there. Really really enjoyed it. But on way home could tell I'd walked too far as legs felt like they had bags of sand tied round them and every step I took it felt like someone was adding a bit more sand. Totally exhausted when got home so had lie down and fell asleep. Feel really sore and tired now but don't care as had nice time when I was out. It's amazing the pleasure you can get from the simple things in life if you just look for it. You little dog sounds like a lively character - bet you have a lot of fun with her. Brodie still manages to roll on his back sometimes too. He was quite bright tonight shaking toys and tossing them in the air. He is badly needing washed but can't really stand for too long so am thinking of try to give him a sort of sponge bath outside lying down at weekend if I can. He hates being washed but loves being dried! Still no warm weather here but think it's meant to warm up at weekend so will hopefully get out in garden then. Total rest day for me tomorrow as I know I've done too much today but it was good at the time!!  Glad you had a decent day. 

Hi Lynne,

Sadly, today I'm hit for having such a good day yesterday, I guess. Doing more than I should due to the extra energy. So today not as good with some times feeling really quite ill during the day.

I had to go out today to orthodontist for youngest and it was lovely and sunny but, this didn't really help. So drained at times. I was thinking how heavy my arms felt! Too much done.

In answer to your question, yes I do get where I feel embarrassed and judged by people, especially because I slur and can't speak/think sometimes when talking and stumble about. It can really affect how you feel about yourself. But, no point adding to it by feeling bad for it. If people have a problem with it, that's their problem, not ours.

I hope you managed some time in the garden at least. It's been so nice here. Sadly, its next weekend at new forest but, hopefully it will still be nice weather. I don't like full sun either-too harsh.

I'm shattered now and can only hope I get a decent sleep, hope you do too. Best wishes

Beverley

hi Bev,  Never know from one day to the next sorry  your having a bad one today, which you expected in a way.  l woke feeling bad have come round a bit by late afternoon, and did manage time in the sun and got a bit of garden tidy up done.  . Like you, l actually felt ill towards end of being in town, only an hour, but too much, luckily l,d a trolley to keep me upright, but when in public and feeling that bad it tenses me up, bit of anxiety and embarressed with it. So taxi home asap, l can actually laugh in irony after, the driver l knew and like, usually have a good chat and laugh, but l was that tired l could barely string a coherent sentence together, so it was odd silences  between gobbledy gook,  he tried to fill in the gaps for me,  bit awkwardly, though ld, told him about being fatigued, so he brought my bag up the path, l lost my balance veered into the privet, it kept me upright, l,m thinking what am l like, he,s a decent guy and didnt judge, just how l felt about myself, but glad to just get in. Such a relief to feel a bit better after a bad day, strangest condition,.  My son rang to ask if l,d been to vote 8.30pm, l hadnt, he on his way home from work and meal, so called for me, keen, so did go and do it, but it was a lovely evening , so mild and  tranquil, always loved summer evenings when not hot but still warm and pleasant. Hope we have a good day tomorrow and can enjoy some sunshine, take care lyn

Hi Elaine, sounds like a lovely walk, just what l used to enjoy so much and did often, love nature, animals, trees flowers, l can still walk a bit but not that far, l walk a couple of hundreds yards, need rests, always looking out for benches, wallls, high doorsteps if need be., not bad in fine weather, problem in wet or cold weather,  If you feel tired and have to sleep and its after a good experience its worthwhile.  l just potttered about in the garden, but got a few jobs done, and with garden jobs you get some benafits after in seeing it look nice even through the window. My dog is a terrible terriere, very naughty dog, l think small dogs are more problematic than big ones, little dog syndrome, but she does make me laugh and has her times of being affectionate, sometimes l think she,s going to lick my nose and she,ll have a little bit at it, gently, nuzzle, l,d be lost wthout a dog, l imagine bathing brody will be hard going, tally was the same, she,d a double coat,  water just ran off here, to run water on here for an age.  Its forecast to be hot on sunday, best time to bathe them as they dry quickly, can brody cope with the heat,  Well l hope you feel well tomorrow, take care lyn

Hi Lynne, had really bad day today. Struggling doing everything. had to go back to bed after breakfast. Done far too much - really stupid! You'd think I'd learn by now.Too tired to type any more. Hope you had a good day and have a good weekend!!

Hi Lynne, 

yes managed to enjoy a little of the sunshine and did get to vote ! I forgot about three times so was glad in the end I remembered. I felt a bit silly as it was like I'd never ever voted . I went in without the voting card, managed to find me then I said where's the paper and they pointed to the booth, then i wasn't sure which box to put them in, I felt pretty out of it and garbled whilst smiling at least : D 

Just another day in CFS/ME paradise !

Online shopping which took for ever as kept loosing connection so is in the early hours of the morning now, best get to bed. Hope your weekend goes well.

Beverley

Hi Elaine,  Hope today is a better one for you, your activety catching up on you, it happens, and your not the only one who doesnt learn, l certainly dont, lve good intentions, but get a bit of energy, and its partly that things need doing and no slave to do it for us, but also we dont like doing nothing, boring,  frustrating, makes it more an existance, and we all want to do things interesting and fullfilling, so take a chance, l wasnt too bad yesterday, but quiet day, didnt go out, just a bit in the garden, so symptoms manageable, though did feel a bit down, bit of trade off, in doing something lifts us mentally, l know you really enjoyed your walk and activeties, l guess its always going to be a challenge to get balance,   So hope your improved with the resting day and todays a better one, bit dull here but think will get sunny later, bit of a breeze but should be nice out, Hope brody is ok, l guess he knows somethings wrong when your unwell and sleeping, they sense it as well as see it.  Take caer lynnne

l was a bit the same, nearly put the wrong colour paper in the wrong colour box, be it theyre colour coded, the steward just stopped me in time, then l couldnt recall if l put a tick or a cross, but we showed willing, also had a chat and laugh with stewards,l had my card and discusting state it was, been sat in hall weeks, had things put on it, the cheeky steward asked if it was a beer can stain, l should be so lucky, told him it would be g and t if l,d stomach for it, but it was a lovely evening, Quiet day yesterday but did get in the garden a bit.  My connection as also been very slow, dont know if its sky or ancient computer, then yesterday my fb things all changed to Spanish, how did that happen, how do i put ir right, tried a couple of things, no luck, hoping son comes today, he,ll know l think.  Was in touch with a cousin in plymouth, just found out she,s fibro, along with r athritus, suprising how many do have problems, Well hope we all have a decent sunny weekend, take care lynne

Hi Lynne,

hope you Managed to sort the fb ok? it's been nice and sunny with breeze here and I managed to get out for a bit and even a meal out : ) of course shattered now but, hey ho! Managed a treats shop as well so, a couple of nice bath bombs to look forward to. I hate not being able to shop on my own but, at least I was able to get things with daughter.

Tomorrow is due to be nice again here and hope to get out in the afternoon. Hope you get to enjoy some sunshine tomorrow too.

Beverley

Hi Lynne, Hope you are OK. Had better day than yesterday but still not great. Managed short walk with my husband and saw someone walking a younger golden retriever (3 years old). The dog reminded me of how Brodie was when he was younger, full of energy and pulling on lead but also made me realise that I wouldn't be able to cope with a big dog like that now. Always hoped we might get another retriever but seeing the woman getting pulled along with the dog like that made me see that it wouldn't be practical at all for me. Even if I tried to train a big dog there are not guarantees that it wouldn't pull on the lead so if I got another one it would need to be a smaller dog. Brodie is not walking well today but weather is not helping him. It's cloudy here, with really cold wind and haar off sea. Been sitting in house with heating and fire on! Am praying we will get some sun and heat tomorrow so can get out in garden. Will need to be more realistic about how much I do in a day and stop doing too much and setting myself back. It really is a frustrating illness. Hope you are getting better weather than me!!!

Hi Bev, Glad you had a good day and a meal out, its really nice to do normal social things, means a lot to us, even if shattered afterwards.  l did go into town, but had a bout of dreaded nausea, so glad to get home, but my son called with some flowers for me which was lovely, l love flowers, roses, tulips and lillies, and his friend brought me giant toblerone, also love, but will be rolling like a ball soon, when your not as active weight soon goes on, but enjoying it. My son c alled today and took  me to poundstretcher to get some gardening things, a tub and compost, few bits, big help for me. It was baking hot here, as l guess elsewhere, must have been 80s, l soon wilt when its that hot, only need to be in it for l0min or more, and parked cars, hot plates, but again enjoyed it, he dropped me off, sat down, slept for an hour or more, 

went into garden briefly and its warm but breezy, when the spurt of energy will arrive to put the plants in is anyones guess, kept in a shady place for now. l love the warm weather, as with most, but really cant recall last time able to sit out in full sun for more than l0min, gets too much, like dracula looking for shady areas, my idea would be a shady woodland, but love the warm evenings.  l wonder how everyone coped the with hot weather, its lovely just to be able to wear light clothing, its a bonus, easier dressing and looks and feels better than multi layers

So hope you were able to enjoy your day, Take care lynne.  ps yes my son got my fb back into English, he wonders about me, so do i. 

 

Hi Elaine, Strange l was the same yesterday, although sunny out l felt a bit cold, but have a shady front room, sun for 2hrs, Did go into town, but had bout of nausea so glad to get home went out a bit into garden, not much. l think there comes a time when youve to think about how you cant cope with a big dog, more so if from a puppy, l love big dogs, but knew it would be too much, ironically the small one lve got has been hard work, but chance, she was a year old when l got her and her lst year not a good one, lve had some wonderful rescue dogs, but some hve had probs and it takes patience, plus she,s not that little, about size of a cocker spaniel, lve a fairly secure garden but shes one that wants to find a way out, and l couldnt run after her, but l,d already got her at star of health probs 2yr ago, and had no idea how it can progress worsen, you just never think youll get so low in energy stamina, strength, if l,d known l,d still want a dog, but a tiny one, yorkie or westie maybe. l wonder how brody faired today, guessing its also very hot where you area, maybe more sea breeze, baking here, l was soon wilting, but love it, we cant at least sit in the shade, lve been in garden but no work at all, too hot.  l hope your were able to just sit and relax, it is difficult, l hope brody found a nice shady place, it must be really overwhelming when theyve such a long coat.  Do you catch the sun easy, when its with a sea breeze, its so odd there are times of looking pale and drawn, then other times seeing yourself look quite well, which is good, but it gives feul to the cynics.  Anyway hope you felt better and got some sunshine lynne

Evening Lynne,

Its been sunny here too but wasn't out in it till evening. Managed to put some washing out and had a sit on a chair when the sun was going down, lovely breeze. Got out onto the canal and fed some of the geese. One pair had six goslings : )

I know what you mean about no activity making you into a ball, I'm struggling with weight at the moment. I used to do yoga and Pilates and felt more on top of things then but, unable to do it this year.

Glad you and your Son have been able to get things for the garden today. I love flowers too and will be glad to get to the garden centre soon with daughter.

I too find the heat difficult and so hope for a cooler summer this year. I feel less able to deal with extremes either way in temperature Now. Am lucky that i have an old stone house that keeps the heat out.

Hope tomorrow has some energy for both of us.

Beverley

Hi Lynne, well the sun finally arrived here this afternoon (haar all morning) so sat out back. Back garden is a sun trap - was fine at first enjoying the heat but couldn't stand it after about 30 mins and had to sit in shade. Sat in it again again later but feel really drained now. I know the heat doesn't agree with me but it's so tempting to sit out as we so rarely see the sun. My husband's been sitting out all afternoon and feels fine. Will be sensible and sit in shade tomorrow if it's nice.Brodie seemed much better today - the heat must agree with him. I managed to give him a kind of sponge bath outside so he's looking much cleaner now. He was rolling on his back barking. Took some photos of him too. It's strange how the heat can make you so tired as I've hardly done anything today but feel absolutely shattered now. Am planning sensible pacing, take each day as it comes sort of week! 

Hi Beverley, Haha  you just reminded me lve washing still in the washer, 2min memory, must get it out today.  Went into garden briefly and nice breeze.  Sunday when l was out with my son it was baking, and the car an oven, too much, but got a few things and always happy to see and chat with him, he,s a captive audience when in the car, lol, l dont see him as much as l,d like to, maybe once a week, but he,s good when l do see him, he,s a therapist, so dont put too much of my probs onto him, but he understands, as many of his patients with phycalgocial problems have health problems like cfs,fibro even i.c.although no one can truly understand the level of fatigue we experience, l can hardly describe it, mornings l can barely function, will power to jus stand up and move about, any jobs a no go for 1-3hrs. l got some of the compost that comes in compressed blocks, light, put water with it, great, as most gardening things so heavy. l,d like more woodbark, covers soil well, might be taxi driver for that. lve quite a lot of plants now, petunia, lobelia, fuscia, like fuscia and osteospurnum as slugs and snails dont go after them, everything else, weve a lot of dry stone walls, full of snails, big ones, l dont plant in ground, just shrubs, flowers in tubs, baskets. Sprinkle salt around bases. Trying not to overdo it, very difficult, l also cant sit in full sun, l0min. Still love it sitting in shade. light clothing, Looking quite dull at present, as its been for the last few years, few days here and there, we never know. Be good to sit in garden as the next month is going to be eu saturation. Well hope your enjoying your gardening and warmth.  Take care lynne

Hi Elaine,

l also look at the many people who can just sit or lay for hours in baking sun, even some old people can sit soaking it up, in full sun, we  cant tolerate the cold, nor the hot sun, but would rather have the warmth any time, we can always find part or full shade, my front room is a shady cool one, no sun in after llam. But even if you  dont do much just being in it does drain energy, l think it does for a lot of people a bit, for us a lot. Bathing certainly does liven dogs up, mine goes mad, charging about rolling on her back, jumping, glad brodie enjoyed it, seems to rejuvinate them a bit. Seems funny even when hot l dont see many paddling pools out, they have some fantastic big ones now, 8ft diameter 2ft deep, big enough for adults to go, and not that dear either really, l,d have loved one, not that l was a good swimmer and not been swimming for an age, but be lovely to just dip in and out of a pool in your own garden, dog would be in with me of course.  It was sunny briefly this morning, now dull and breezy, hope thats nor our lot again for  while, been same last few years, just odd days here and there, never settles for weeks at a time like it used to. l can remember all the streams dried up stones baked white, soil like concrete. cant recall when we last had long hot summers, sitting out at 9-l0pm cooling off in evening air, loved that. Hoping to take it easy today, and that isnt easy, so good luck with the pacing, and being sensible. lve washing to put out now, dont even think about the ironing that follows it, days a week later. Take care lynne

Hi Lynne,

It was so hot here yesterday and had to go visit my mum who sadly has Alzheimer's and Parkinson's and is a bus and train ride away. The Travel is so hard and have been taking it easy today. Raining here for the past half hour which Is so needed by the plants. It freshens the air too : ) I'm worrying a little about my trip to the New forest. Its the energy drop and travel that I m scared of. I want to have a good time just, I'm sure you're with me on this-its luck of the draw as to how it will go. I will do the best I can!

Quite tired presently, need a bit of a nap. Hope you got your washing out and dried ok. I forget things like that too! Usually pans boiling dry with me!

Best wishes

Beverley

Hi Beverley, l feel sorry for you having to use a train and bus in the heat, but what can you do, its your mum. i still miss mine and its years since l lost her, but it must be tough seeing your mum with those problems. Travelling is very tiring, unbelievable really, even in a car where you can relax more and stop for air, l recall even a few year back going in car with son, even a 2hr journey to the coast l near always fell asleep on way back, as on train also, dont think lve travelled much more than an hour in last year or so, l would go for it if invited somewhere a few hours away, as with you and new forest, but even going back into the past lve often gone on a wish and a prayer, not ideal way to set off, but its as it is, sometimes its been fine, and enjoyed, other times not so much and not quite as good, but got through. l really wanted to go up to holy island in northumberland, but quite a drive, still live in hope of getting there. l didnt get my washing out, will have to rinse it again in conditioner and put out tomorrow, its rained all afternoon, forecast to dry up again tomorrow, though not as hot, havent seen one for the weekend yet, they wont know, l fell asleep after lunch, becoming habit, but wake up feeling so groggy and still tired, been a  really tiresome day, non productive, just didnt have energy to do much, feels like being lazy, but not by choice, as  not at all fullfilling, Tomorrows another day, Do you go on Friday or Saturday, just for weekend, guess that will be long enough for you, if youve your own comfortable room where you can go when y ou feel a need, one thing lve learnt is weve to do whats best for us, lve stayed up to suit others and felt ill, l drank too much to keep up, ill for  a week, now rarely drink at all, might risk a  g and t on odd occassionas drowned in tonic and ice.  l cant believe how many are coming onto site with either cfs fibro or abdo disorders.  l occasionally watch come dine, but do find it a bit pretentious times, who can  eat the most rare animal or do the most trendy dish, all about marketing, sometimes interesting, but when l see them showing off eating chillies, l feel like my gran, oo youll regret it later.   l would struggle with a Korma, lots of yogurt with it.  Well lve rambled on long enough.  Hope you can get enough r and r before you set off, and youve a late start. might help, Take care lynne 

Hi Lynne, I've had a good couple of days. The weather is lovely here now - it's warm but there is a breeze so it's just right for me. Yesterday on impulse I went to local shop and bought some bedding plants - lobelias and petunias and spent the afternoon planting them in my small pots and did a bit weeding too. But instead of doing my usual and doing it all at one I paced myself and just did a bit at a time resting in between and I stopped before I was exhausted. Was expecting to feel awful today like I normally do but had a longer lie, pottered about this morning and felt better after lunch so walked along to see the foal again but didn't do ridiculous long walk I tried last week just had a little walk in woods and came home. Did relaxation cd garden which was lovely relaxing with the sun on me. Managed to hang 2 lots of washing out too! Am tired now but not shattered. Definitely think I'm better pacing myself. Brodie has been really bright today - was kicking a football round garden a one point with his paw! Can't believe the difference the heat has made to him. A paddling pool would be lovely on hot. I've got a water feature in garden as I like the sound of water and lots of birds were drinking out it and having a bath in it earlier. I have a really tame blackbird that comes to door looking for raisins - he was actually in the kitchen earlier! Hope you've had a good day.

Elaine

Hi Elaine, Yuo must be getting the warm weather longer than we are in this area, l saw the sun breifly this morning, then dulled in later raining as its been ever since. It does make a lot of difference to be able to get out in a bit of sunshine, hoping its back tomorrow, and we can have a long settled summer for a change, rather than odd days here and there. Feel so much better for it, glad youve been able to pace and keep symptoms under control, sounds like brody,s following, mutual emptathy relationship,  lve a pond in my garden, small one, but love to be near water, most do l think, l,d have loved a house at teh side of  river or lake, ideal, had to settle  for a pond, lve memories of my childhood growing up near a river, spent a lot of time summer evenings, weekends there, loved the site sound even the smell,  Blackbirds are  quite bold and cheeky, weve a few around, early  risers late to bed, and sing for us, but like us they like nice summer evenings to sing in.  l sometimes used to throw raisins for them as they cant use the seed feeder, he must feel confident to go into your kitchen, looking for the raisins, lve had a quiet day, weather not fit to do anything outside, so took it easy insde, just hope the sun returns tomorrow, oh to be rich and have a place in a warm country for the winter. dream on, Hope its a good day tomorrow, take care lynne

Hi Lynne,

It's been a long day and have to go out tomorrow unfortunately, Will rest best I can, Thankyou. Also, I'm really hoping to listen to my body while away rather than what others want.

Bedtime now. Hope we all get a good enough sleep.

Beverley

Hi Lynne, hope you are OK. I had bad day yesterday, woke up really sore and tired (delayed gardening fatigue) but had to go to shop, forgot my list, wandered round shop like zombie, got halfway home then remembered I'd forgotten something so had to go back again. Totally shattered when got home. Found weather too hot too so felt totally drained. But my husband got me a different relaxation track so listened to that today in garden. Was still sore this morning but have been resting in garden most of day (not so hot today) so feel bit better now. Hoping to go out at weekend so nothing silly planned for tomorrow!!

Elaine

Hi, Well l,m sat here at computer, dont know whats going to droop first, my eyes or head, feel really tired, but didnt sleep well last night, must have woke 4 or 5 times, up and down. but had also done some essential gardening day before, l knew risk as l did it, took a chance and usual aches and pains after, its sort of like what we used to get after 8hrs hard labour or a 20 mile trek, battered, but after small jobs really. l also went into town today, found it really hard going, tired, breathless, glad to get home, hopefullly easy day tomorrow, who knows. It occurred to me that some of the way we feel is same as for healthy people, but they can do loo or 500 times more to feel same. If l was to speculate for me, l,d say lve reduced my energy, stamina, strength, by l00 times maybe more, l used to have good stamina, could go on and on till jobs done.  On getting home today fell asleep on sofa for half or so, woke up still very tired groggy couldnt see the clock properly and thought it later, made a meal to try rejuvinate me, then saw it was only 4.20pm, usually eat 6-7pm, talk about losing sense of time and place, what next, at least youve a husband to keep it a bit real for you with prompts, l find myself talking to the dog, she looks at me head to one side as if to say what are you on about now, she responds to  treats ok. l spoil her, l shouldnt, too many not good.  Forecast for niceish weekend, not as warm, we get l0deg drops in temp, weird, cant recall the last long hot summer where it went on more than a few days at a time, few years ago.Havent seen Bev on, wonder if she,s unwell or set off early for New Forest, hope you have a good time.  Well back to reality, to take the big numb wheelie bin out, l hate them, look horrible, awkward to move, lve 2 steps down. l hope Brody is doing ok, hoping for a better night, but keep watching silent witness before bed, and waking the dead, must have a thing for forensics, or Boyd or Harry.  Well hope we all have a good day tomorrow, take care lynne

I hate it when I don't sleep well as always feel awful next day and it seems to take me days to catch up. Think that's why I felt so bad over winter - was getting up during night to put fire on for Brodie to keep him going. He has been really bright all week, the heat has definitely helped his joints but meant to get colder tomorrow so he'll probably be worse again. I feel as if I probably have about 25% of the energy of a normal person most of the time. I once read a book that about viral illness that compared energy with money. A healthy person could have £100 to spend a day on whatever they want but for me it's more like having just £20 so you need to be careful what you spend it on if you know what I mean!! I've hardly watched TV all week as have been outside most of the time. Keep recording things then am too tired to watch them. I taped Crufts for Brodie when it was on and put bits of it on for him and he watches it barking at the TV - it's quite funny to watch. I still talk to him all the time though he's quite deaf now and probably can't hear me! I hope you sleep better tonight and have a better day tomorow. Bye for now...

Hi Lynne,

Had a bad couple of days, quite stressful and got awful headache with it so, was functional but very limited. So, today I go to the new forest! Mixed bag of emotions with this. Looking forward to the idea of things being lush and green, not looking forward to the journey or payback.

Seems you've been very busy and have suffered for it, hope you can rest now. Such a balancing act activity and rest.

Hope your weekend goes well.

Best wishes

Beverley

Hi Elaine,

Someone recently told me about "spoon theory" the idea is similar to yours with the money for energy but, uses spoons for the energy. I wasn't too sure about it but thought I'd mention It.

Best wishes

Beverley

Hi Beveryley,

 Dont know if your on your way, or have laptop with you, hope youve got your day days over with and youve some good days with your journey and stay in the New Forest. l have been busy and done too much hard work in the garden, l just cant leave essential jobs, no one else to do it, so go for it and hope for the best, its difficult to pace, and sometimes you can still have rough times when not pushing it, and l dont think any of us want to just settle for being a couch potato,too boring, unfullfilling, an existance, we need to achieve something, whatever it is, l think l need to learn to channel time into less strenous things, be it art, open uni, maybe winter will bring that, but for now whilst sun shines l,m still pushing to follow the thing l love doing, gardening, nature. Which is what your doing at present, going for it, and hoping for the best, its forecast for a fine weekend, so should be lovely in the New Forest, l really hope you can have as comfortable and easy jorney as poss, and enjoy your time there, sleeping on the journey back possibly, and feel reasonable on your return,  At least you should be getting lots of clean fresh air whilst there, Best Wishes,   Lynne

Haven't heard of this but probably same idea - just different ways of measuring energy (or lack of it in our case!!). Hope you enjoy your trip away. I often find if I go somewhere different you seem to find the energy from somewhere to do more butt crash when back home. Enjoy the good times - we need to push ourselves sometimes or we'd never do anything!!!

Hi Lynne,

It's so hard to balance things well with cfs/me. I agree its also hard not to do things.

My time away was a mixed bag, lovely forest area, saw deer, horses a foal. Some cheeky critter pinched a bar of chocolate From the tent and left the empty packet!

Went to Portsmouth and also Southsea and Market Drayton to see family. I Managed to rest in the car on my journeys luckily but still have payback-as expected really. Some pain too but did feel some relief whilst away. Had some very ill feelings and shed a few tears on my return. Not ok yet but, enough energy to catch up today. Tomorrow is total rest for me. I had to go out today and bit of a crisis Tuesday So, so much for an easy couple of days to recover!

Hope you are resting well too after your busy few days too.

Best wishes

Beverley

Hi Elaine,

Yes, I did feel a bit less ill at times while away. Travel is very difficult for me now and luckily did get some rest just still get the payback!

Energy is such a difficult thing to raise when you're running on empty already.

Hope you managed to have a good weekend.

Best wishes

Beverley

Hi Bev, really glad you have a lovely time when away. Even if you're not great now you have all the happy memories and you will pick up again in time. Am having to make train journey to visit parents this weekend now and trying to find the energy from somewhere to go (still tired from last weekend - not good!) and know will be shattered when I come back but going to give it a go. Get as much rest as you can and hopefully your energy levels will pick up again soon.

Hi Elaine,

Hope your journey isn't too far and you can rest when you're there. It's great to still be able to get to places when we can, many can't with this. I 'm glad I managed to go away okish. I 'm hoping to go away with the children in summer so need to get some energy for that.

Tomorrow, I do nothing! Hopefully : )

B

HI Beverley

Finally got to reply, computer going mad last night, drove me mad. Anyway glad you had some good experiences on your break away, you had an idea about the after affects, but some times weve got to go for it. Hope your getting some r and r and getting back to a reasonable level. lve cousins in Portsmouth, thought l,d just throw that in,  l dont feel too bad today, after a few poor days, had a reasonable nights sleep last night, after a few bad nights,, we catch up when tired enough, and it helps.  Raining here, bt not cold and feels reasonably clear out. l got my rheumy appt, at last, not for another 5weeks, but at least not forgot, thats something.  l,m seeing a Sultan, Brunei?, well a Mr Sultan, see what he,s  got to say, l guessed when you didnt come on mbs monday tues you,d be recovering, at least you did it, some normality changes and adventure, so hope your recovering ok, take care lynne

Hi Lynne,

Computers can be such a pain. I'm on my little phone here. Not rested enough but, what can you do. I have the hairdressers tomorrow and seeing friend at weekend. Wish I could do these thing's without any payback!

Sorry to hear you're suffering too. It can be so frustrating cant it. The rain at least give the plants a chance and I like t hear it on the window. Did you get out Today with your dog? I 've been in house all day.

Beverley

The computers back to normal, beyond me, nothing l did, must have needed an overnight rest as well. Hope your weekend goes well. Yes l guess l dont need to water plants, one little posative, at least its not cold with it. Today not quite as bad as last 3 days, who can explain it, but l did have a reasonable sleep, after a few not so good, it helps. At least youve had r and r today, with a bit of luck it helps for following day, take care lynne.

Hi Lynne,

Technology is so hard to fathom sometimes. I''ve just had my hair cut nd coloured which took alot of time and energy but, feel its worth it! Have put some washing out too, with rests. Now laid resting with the door open hoping it doesn't rain.

Hope your day is going ok and not too exhausting.

Beverley

Hi Beverley,  l  woke up tired, but came round reasonably quick, an hour or so, and did some tidying, then planted out a few osteaspurnum l got from supermarket, love them, slugs hate them, and with the rain the snails and slugs are out, as it has been raining on and off, grey day mostly, Where is the long hot summer they said we would have this years, seems like a repeat of last few years, warm sunny days a few at a time, maybe start in june.   lve a mountain of ironing to do, hate it, always did, more so now.  Slept an hour after lunch, woke feeling no better, as if the heavy blankets come down again.  Computer ok now, just very slow, dont know if its the computer or isp sky, can live with it. l think its good to have a change with your hair style and colour, l used to be often highlighting, streaks, felt good, lve no idea what colour is natural now, probably grey, not done it for a while, but glad you are happy with your results, its a bit of a lift. Well, what to eat, funny in going on and off meals, will study whilst watching pointless.  Will seem a quiet weekend for you after last weeks, just seen my neighbour setting off in their touring caravan, normality,Hope the weather takes up at least, take care lynne

Hi lynne,

All the extra things i've had to deal with have caught up and hit me hard. Darn frustrating! Oh to just wake up tired and aching rather than the absolute exhaustion this condition brings!

I'm happy with my hair but , its just another thing above what I can manage.

I know how much joy your garden brings and flowers are such an uplifter. I want to get some more colours in my pots, slugs seem to eat everything i plant!

Unfortunately, my weekend wasn't as quiet as I guess i needed it to be. The rainstorm on Sunday was fantastic to watch from my friends window. Could see off into the distance. Black clouds moving across the fields and houses burstng with rain. They have a long distance view that I don't. Hope you're not feeling as covered in that blanket today. Have sunshine here which is gently coming through the curtains.

Food wise, I'm making sure have some salad every day. I'm bigger than I'd like to be and want to get in better shape so, trying to eat better. Eating is difficult with cfs/me tastes and energy up and down so much.

Hope your day goes well

Best wishes

Beverley

I meant going to hairdresser Is more than I can manage and the rainstorm was Saturday! Silly cfs/me brain!

l just woke up with aches and pains today, bit tired not too bad, yesterday it was exhaustiion, drifting in and out of sleep, till noon, l hate doing that.  l have to say Osteospurnum are very good, prolific flowering all summer, f grow quite big so big tubs needed, also snails and slugs dont seem to like them, they also dont seem to bother fuscia too much, so thats biggest part of my choice. My window view is towards the distant hills, also see any weather front there first, rain sat with a few snow flakes. yesterday and today more settled.  l,m also a couple of stone oweight, and do like salad and veg, more than fruit really, dont like acidy taste, but yes l do like chocolate.  l actually read that some of the more obscure symptoms of fibro are heightened sense of smell, l knew l,d that before l read it, in town the smells, industry, traffic fumes, passers by with, a few with body odour, and cannabis becoming more common smell, its rarely a benafit having a keen sense of smell, occassionally  scented flowers, coffee, mown grass, rare smell of baking bread, but another symptom is said to be craving choc or carbs, l think in part its the body craving to find energy.  Re your cfs brain, do you also find youve become more outspoken, or maybe my age,  

Hi Lynne,

I have more heightened senses full stop -on bad days. I can't stand the light or noise and smells can be so sickly. I've never liked perfumes etc anyway. Even essential oils can be too much now. Yes, towns and bad smells are just awful some days and public transport is full of very unpleasant smells sometimes. 

I'm not sure if I'm more outspoken, I think I'd say I'm less tolerant and have walked out of cafe's etc because i'm not being given the service I deserve. Things become overwhelming and I can see I'm more abrupt now. 

Hope you have some nice weather with you

Best wishes 

Beverley

Hi Beverley, Sorry for late reply, the computer testing my tolerance, again, spent half an hour and had to walk away from it, plus they can be tiring when behaving, when not draining, after lunch felt that tired l lay down on sofa and slept one and a half hours, woke usual groggy snuffled up, it had been sunny when l dropped off, woke to rainy with grey skies, as its remained, l know its been sunny in other areas, just got into the band of rain, cooler with it. A lot of th time a keen sense of smell is not a blessing, l,d noticed for a couiple of years, l,d say to people l ws  with, oo can you smell that, or ugh what a smell, they didnt smell it, then read its actually a symptom of fibro. l used to dab perfume under my nose in crowded places. Some perfumes l cant tolerate, others ok, as with detergents, but like fresh fruity perfumers, not heavy. l know what you mean about being less tolerant, l cant even stand in a line of above 3 people, and can walk out of shops if assistants just gabbing, little patience or concentration.  It has its funny side, l,m quite vocal, if l get a sudden pain, or feel sick, l,ll say out loud, oh damm, or whatever, people near think your talking to or about them, and weve become such a touchy society, so if they look l,ll say `l,m talking to myself,` Weather poor here, very rainy, but think it might pass, they say it will be very hot in June, but who knows, they dont, most of time, we,ll see.   Looking in asda yesterday, notice they sell big pools, 10ft diam, by 2ft deep, £40, think thats fantastic, tried to get my son to buy one, he,s a big private garden, be lovely on a hot day, filled with warm water of course, affordable luxury.  used to be about 2in deep years ago, Well hope your day is a better on tomorrow, Take care lynne

Hi Lynne,

Sunshine here with breeze so not too hot at least, am in bedroom anyway. May sit step little if energy allows : )

I Managed to do too much yesterday so, doing less today. It gets silly the small amount I can do sometimes.

Hope your day is sunny but, not too hot.

Beverley

Hi Lynne,

Hoping things are ok with you. I know you were having problems with your computer. Can be so frustrating. Today the me association had demonstrations In London and USA. Hope it raised awareness. I sent my shoes in my place. Rain all day here.

Beverley

Hi Elaine,

Hope you managed to get out in the car today and got somewhere nice. Rain all day here. I know we were talking on a different post this before.

Beverley

Hi Bev, had really nice day but shattered now. Just running myself a bath then off to bed. Managed run in car to place 45 mins away in borders. Managed to walk right along one side of main street, got a nice little relaxation/positive thinking book in a charity shop, then had lunch sitting on bench at river - really peaceful with sound of water and wind in trees. Weather cloudy with bits on sun. Then managed to walk back other side and quick look in couple of shops. Enjoyed looking at different scenery when sitting in car. Had a little sleep when got home before making easy tea. Recovery day planned tomorrow. Always go places where I know there are benches I can sit on when tired!! You mentioned increasing yoga in another post. I found starting yoga was the turning point in my improvement and found I was able to do more, walk further, had more strength and slept better once I got going with it. Will talk to you again about this when I'm not so tired. Hope you had a good day!!

Hi Beverley, l did have simular probs with computer again, had to leave it, nearly driving me mad, but then it was me, just felt really shattered last couple of days, for unknown reason, maybe the weather, weve had a lot of rain, even when some areas getting sunshine, poured down all today, but not cold at least. Think forecast to take up at weekend, only just learn its a bank holiday, waiting for my helicopter and mr wonderful to collect me for weekend in Paris, anywhere, lol in my dreams, but if sun shines that will help.  l,d read your thread about the demo,s in different cities, clicked onto the links, saw your shoes there, well l saw pic  of hundreds of shoes, thousands, tried to cut and paste onto the thread, but it went on as half inch size so didnt bother. But hope it does raise awareness, takes a long time even for drs to acknowledge, it was same with intersticial cystitus, it was a young womna annette who started campaign due to her and her sisters experiences. she had some publicity and sucess, but still not commonly known or understood, as with me cfs fibro lupus, other condiitons l guess, Unlike cancer or heart many people dont relate unless they or family experience it, but youve to keep trying to make people understand, or even drs at least. Wonder what theyll do with the shoes, charity shops l guess, Someone walking in your shoes now, literally, whatever it takes.  Take care lynne

Hi Lynne,

Sorry you've not been feeling so good the last couple of days. I know someone who said they definitely suffered with th cfs/me more in bad weather. I'm not great today either, had to go out yesterday and today. Journey's not good for me.

I was impressed by the turn out re the shoes and yes I believe they are going to donate any good shoes. My pair were a pair that wouldn't be upto it! They said to send a pair that said something bout yourself and mine were a pair that were very worn walking shoes : )

I like your idea of a ride in a helicopter somewhere nice. If i could get from A to B Without feeling awful, I'd be off somewhere lovely this weekend! Have you any plans?

I truly hope the protest manages to raise awareness.

Beverley

Hi Elaine,

Glad you got out in the car and managed some shops. Sounds like you took it easy.

Hope your recovery day has gone well. I had to go see my mum, it's her birthday tomorrow and couldn't guarantee I'd feel any better tomorrow so I braved the journey and felt very ill. Been laying down since I got back.

Tomorrow, I will not be doing anything!

Beverley

Hi Bev, glad you managed to get out. We all have to push ourselves sometimes to do things but the payback is never great but you've got to try or you'd never do anything! Felt awful all day, even worse than I thought. Have been lying down most of day and fell asleep.Weather cold and wet which hasn't helped. Will just need to rest again tomorrow. Really hope I've not overdone it too much and am going to be like this for days as it really gets me down when that happens. Had forgotten there is a marathon on Sun which means there will be hundreds of people running past my front window all day with loads of crowds and noise. Didn't mind when it first came here but find it really irritating now, end up trapped in house, can't even get car out or someone will take space and would end up having to park streets away from house. Quite depressing watching all the fit people running past when I'm feeling shattered and can hardly do anything. It's so frustrating when you feel good one day and the next you feel awful but I suppose at least I have some good days now which I am thankful for. Rambling now. Hope you sleep well and take it easy tomorrow! 

Hi Elaine,

Sorry it's hit you so hard today. Balancing is so hard to do sometimes and I know that feeling of i hope I've not got several days of this now.

Here's to hoping we both get a decent sleep and not too bad a days resting tomorrow.

Beverley

hi beverley, 

l def get bad allergic rhinitus allergies generally so maybe it aggrevates, who knows the complexaties of us.  Tonight my stomach aggrevated also, bloated and uncomfortable, had a ceaser salad at tea time, maybe that, lot of lettuce, l only got it in asda delivery by mistake, should have been american ranch salad, less lettuce, you, d think lettuce would be easy to digest, but dont think it is, such delicate flowers, wish l,d been a dandelion, indestructible.   l didnt know it was bank holiday weekend till heard on radio today, they come and go, sad to say. My ideal travel would be startrek cupboard, just step in adn your there.  They say it will be fine, if not warm, thats something.   l was hoping to see something on the news about the demo, but didnt, too busy with violent demo,s to take an interest in health issues, did you see them in, was it bolivia, where disabled marched in wheel chairs, and the police just through them about, were not as bad as that, but yes it would have been nice if it got more media exposure, still it get the message across.  l notice my typing is also getting worse.  Now lve to take the big stupid wheelie bin down the path, arent wheelie bins one of the ugliest additions to the streets.

A small one would suit me, but council wont or stopped using them

Well l better go get wheeling, at least you can bang and bump them around, Well lets hope weekend is a nice one, weather wise at least, 

as Dickens said, something might turn up,  Take care lynne 

Hi Elaine,

How did your rest day go? I've been a bit pro-active as my brain was functioning a bit better so spent time at the computer catching up with things I needed to do. Sat on step at lunch time but it was more cloudy than anything else and a Little cool.

I have rested in bed too though.

Hope the bank holiday is ok for you regardless of the marathon! We had the tour de France near here and was very busy.

Beverley

Hi Lynne,

How has today been with you? I've been catching up with things on the computer and am quite pleased i've got some things done. It's been cloudy more or less all day and I was freezing earlier! Have Been resting as well though.

I can't move my wheelie bin and the other week asked one of the guys if they could put it back for me explaining I have a bad back, you'd have thought I'd asked for one of his kidneys the way he looked at me I stood my ground though. I know it's difficult because we look ok.

I''ve a girls night in with my daughters tonight. A take away and dvd, heaven! Hope your evening is relaxing and that the weather holds out for the weekend.

Beverley

Hi Bev, have felt a bit better today though not great. Managed a little bit housework and short walk then sat with heat pad on my back. Really want to do a bit yoga but not got enough energy yet. I injured my lower back taking part in an M.E. / CFS trial at hospital a few years ago which involved going up and down a block of steps wearing a heart monitor to access level of fitness to get on the trial. Also had to wear tag round ankle for a week which you were only allowed to remove to have a wash to monitor activity levels (felt like a criminal with tag!). Consultant at hospital said I have overstretched something and it is not fixable so just have to manage it. Only things that help are walking and some yoga stretches which I don't always have the energy to do which is really annoying. Sitting and standing make it worse so tend to lie down a lot when resting. Quite damp and grey here today. Not sure what doing over weekend yet ( apart from getting annoyed with marathon!). Don't mind seeing the proper athletes who are in the lead but it goes on for hours - people start going past about 11.30 until about 4 non stop. Roads closed everywhere, no bus service at all for people that need it - trapped in village with noise and people everywhere for hours - nightmare! I like peace and quiet and that's why I moved here. Enough of my ranting. I'm glad you've had a better day. Hope you have a lovely evening and enjoy you weekend!!

HI beverley,  Sure your having a lovely night,  your right, l feel the same when l see my son, not as often as l,d like, but  just time and a chat is so good.  l woke usual feeling, recently  it seems worse, not sure though,  its indescribable, l detest it, but do slowly but surely come round a bit, and did a bit better than yesterday, got a few household jobs done, boring, but pleased to get something done, and it looking better for it.  Later in afternoon, even went out with my little rechargeable hand shear to try a bit of hedge cutting, tiny part of it, so postman doesnt get whacked coming up the path, it ragged, but cut back clear of path, l,ll look for a handyman tomorrow, the bit l could do now and again and it will grow quicker and drive me mad, like it all doing at once. l noticed in last few month, and l think others have it at times, that my hands get a bit shky for short time, first l thought nerves, but its only for l0-l5min, a few week ago my son commented on it, when l borrowed his expensive camera to take a pic, he mentioned parkinsons, associated with that, but l,m sure others get same, l think its jsut when fatigued to extreme, so after my 20min hedge cut, went to get tea, and couldnt keep the cup still, slop slop, omg what next. think it was with using hedge shear. l think our bin men will collect from situ, as council agree to that, unless theyve changed, l,m bothered theyll damage my shaky gate, and your right, lve had arguments with council, letters, rants, over a damm bin, just asking them to put the bin back outside the gate like asking the earth, they like to line them up on pavment edge in a row, ive had mine taken before and left with stinking one, some just let food slop in them. 

They did bring a new one, l think they charge people now, they should have the small bins for single people, l probably will ask them,and if they break gate they can repair it. l think lots of people have probs over bins, crazy, years ago they carried heavy metal bins on their shoulders up to 100yds and manually tipped rubbish in wagon, l will say no more about bins.  it brightened up about 4ish, and quite a nice night, bit cool but not bad. See what tomorrow brings, hope you had a lovely night, take care lynne

Hi Elaine,

The CFS/Me service sounds horrendous ! I can't believe they did this in the name of research. I don't think I'd have wanted to do that. I have a sleep/activity diary to keep but that's it and a survey asking about symptoms. The tag sounds shocking. My back issue is from the car crash. Although no one seems to agree on the cause of my symptoms regarding this. I was sent to the back class within the NHS where it was exercises specifically for the back.I could manage quite a few things (as it was actually about exercise in general in reality) the instructor made it clear we should only do what we could. As with most things in the NHS, it was a 6/8 week course. Although i was spaced out and body fatigued and yawned throughout (yes this was before I found out about it being CFS/ME) I felt it was helping and so tried the modified plank. It was like i'd been electricuted in my back ! I tried it twice altogether and each time the most strange of sensations. Whatever it was was not pleasant and felt alien to me. I'm still under investigation for my back and can't carry things or move them without pain. Last night i took a quilt downstairs and am paying for it this morning !!! I can't go shopping on my own and, I know this sounds ridiculous but, can only manage to try on three pairs of shoes at any one time because it causes too much pain otherwise. As I'm writting this, it reminds me of being in the lakes, about 9 months in, unawares that the unrefreshed sleep, constant rabbit in the headlights feeling etc, was cfs/me, and trying on shoes with my then partner. I was utterly exhausted and in so much pain but needed new walking shoes. I couldn't bend to tie them and was not finding "the pair" I wanted. They and the shop assistant were trying to convince me that having some space in the back was ok, I wasn't having it and well done me for saying no when I really wasn't feeling good but, it meant more shops !!! Funnily enough, this is the pair of shoes I just sent to the millions missing event. 

I too lay down alot when resting. Unlike alot of people on here, I can't manage television for too long and get exhausted if I watch too many DVD's in one sitting.

There is an event here this weekend too. I think its the agricultural show. I get emails asking if I can man a stall of a group I'm involved with. I've told them a few times that I can't do these events but, automatic mailing lists do that. So, it may be busy here too this weekend, we're going to the opticians today so will miss all that hopefully. I hope the time seems to go quickly with all the hussle and bussle tomorrow.I too need the peace and quiet.

It was a good evening although I was really waning by the end. Hope your day goes well.

Beverley

Hi Lynne,

This condition is such a pain. Like you say its sometimes you seem to be asking yourself "am I worse"? and the great thing is that with the memory issues ,you can't remember ! I know I'm spending more time housebound but, that is also about me keeping good boundaries and not doing too much to keep others happy. I look forward to seeing people but, know that It will affect me and have to allow for that. 

In regards the shaking hands, yes, I get that too but, have had it quite a while and it really is when I've done too much. sometimes its my whole body though. My friend who got the CFS/ME from a virus, it sometimes really bad to the point of her looking like she has Parkinsons Disease in her hands. My mum has parkinsons and its more all over. She started initially with twitching which got worse and all her body would be moving at once. It was the physio that came to see my mum asking if she'd been tested for it that got me to go with her and yes, she was right. Amazingly, the medication kicked in really quickly and the tremor was almost non existant. I realise how scary it is though when you can see and feel your body do these things sometimes. I have an issue where my eyes 'shake' and I can't see properly. I know someone else on here with this too. Its so strange but, all I have to do is close them for a few minutes and back to normal.

Re bins, in my area , you have to ask for a permit to state you're elderly/disabled to get them to move bin. I luckily have mine on the pavement and although it says we're supposed to move them the few inches onto the road at the pavement edge, no one else does so, neither do I. It's the putting it back that's the issue. It is ludicrious how things have changed re this one issue alone. The lack of energy for these things just compounds it.

I did have  good evening although choosing a DVD everyone wanted to see proved a bit of a nightmare and I felt tired out by the end even though it was a good film. Today we have the opticians for my youngest daughter. I don't feel up to a trip out but, have to do this. Hope fully I can rest tomorrow. Today Is full on sunshine here and am hoping that comes with a nice breeze.

Hope your day goes well

Beverley

 

Hi Beverley,   WEll the sun is shining here also, bit breezy with it, not been out, woke usual same old as they say, but the nausea also, took meds omp and coming round and settling. l think lve also judged how much worse its got by what l do and dont, where l go and dont, def reduced quite a bit over lst few months. For me not to tackle garden hedge shrub cutting, thats a lst, last year managed with a struggle slowly bit at a time, but def need handyman this year, and l love doing it normally, and will push myself, how its got. l think the bad shakes yesterday were down to 20min moderate hedge trimming in small area. Bins still ouit, probably need a permit here also now, new rules all the time, they now charge to take garden waste, endless. But my son just rang, from town, of all things asking me if l wanted a plunger, lol, l,d said to him last week l cant seem to find the toilet plungers anywhere, so  not flowers for me, a plunger. l dont get visitors that often, last week 3 and 2 used toilet after each other, too much toilet roll methinks, grr, it is sorted with liquid stuff, but he thinks l might need it in future, parkinson and plungers, charming.  l can also have a struggle with shoes, prefer slip ons, can get cramp if lve to stretch down to fasten. lve had music on today, sometimes tv, but more background, its got to be great for me to concentrate, as with a book, gripping from the start, or l tune off, or fall asleep. l buy dvds but never get round to watching them, l like a good comedy, gives you a laugh, just looked in on healthunlocked, someone keeps putting minnion pics an captions up, my son likes minnions, ld not heard of them,they hve one on today about stages of fibro cfs, fatigue, stiffness, pain, insomnia in minnion pics etc, very funny. Such a relief to feel a bit better, at least nausea settled, small mercies.  Think its forecast to be a warmer day tomorrow, l,ll ring for the helicopter to pick me up, but if warm nice in the garden instead , Well take care lynne

Hi Bev, I'm glad I did the trial as I got CBT out of it and it was the first time I got to speak to someone properly who understood how I felt which was a huge relief but wish I'd refused to do the step test. Can relate to the trying on shoes thing. When my back flares up badly I even struggle to get dressed. The first time I tried a yoga class teacher told people to tap their thighs, down front of legs and feet as a warm up silting in a chair. I couldn't even reach forward enough to reach my knees and everyone else was bent over tapping their feet no bother. I have my own chair in house that is the only one I can sit on comfortably which doesn't even match anything as got it in clearance sale. Used to sit on plastic garden chair in house before I found it as couldn't sit on anything else! It is really restricting when you have a back problem and I find having M.E. makes it worse. The physio told me not to sit for long periods of time and move about as much as I could but how do you do that when you're exhausted all the time. Walking helps my back when I can manage it and yoga definitely helps but only manage that occasionally. I find lying on my back and drawing knees up to chest helps or lying on back with pillow under knees. Another thing I have found that helps is stretching the backs of your legs - you can stand and hold window sill and step one leg back and bend opposite leg and feel stretch down back of leg that is back if this makes sense. Can also lie on back and put yoga strap or similar round foot and pull leg up towards you but this is often too hard for me. My injury is in lower back. What part of your back is injured? Have you tried an osteopath? I tried one once and it helped a bit and she have me good general advice on looking after your back. Think accupuncture can also help back pain. Haven't tried it yet myself but vet did it on my dog who has arthritis in his spine and it seemed to help him. Am bored now (husband watching football) as like you can't watch TV for too long as don't have the concentration span. Tend to record a lot of things and watch them a bit a a time. Have never watched a film all the way through for years. Managed supermarket this morning and resting this afternoon. Dreaded marathon tomorrow - will get woken early with noise outside. Already barriers and tents up opposite house and cones on road - 16000 competitors running past my house turning and coming back again - can't wait! Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend and it's quieter than mine!

Morning Lynne, 

Today I'm paying for my yesterday ! I needed to go to opticians or wouldn't have gone out. feel shattered and a little vulnerable today. The sun is shining and It would be great if I manage to sit on the step a little today. I tried some clothes on yesterday and, maybe that hasn't helped. I got a nice dress though at least. I have a meeting with old friends next weekend and am already a littlke nervous about not managing my energy well enough. I hate the not knowing with this condition. I'll try to rest well on friday, thursday too but, I have  trip to the doctors that day so, will have to see.

I too look at how things I can or can't do have changed these last few months. Definately rest more. I hate asking for help but, have been asking for help more too.

mmm...I think I'd like flowers rather than the plunger too ; ) unfortunately, if I want flowers, I have to buy my own. There were some lovely bunches yesterday, bright and pretty. They really cheer me up. So shattered today, think it will be rest and more rest for me today. I'm hoping to make a nice sunday dinner as all the girls are still here but, really don't have the energy. They'll prepare the veg, just more supervising things. I bought some pies yesterday, due to all our different dietary needs, there's four different types! Dear me today, so exhausted.

Hope your day goes well and you get a chance to be out in the garden

Beverley

Morning Elaine,

I hear what you're saying re the CFS/ME service and getting some help just, it seems a bit barbaric to go through the physical aspect. My clinic is a bus and train away and it's ridiculous to make  people with this condition have to travel so far. i feel it is helpful but, I only have two sessions left and am nowhere near in a position i would say is much improved.

My back was a fracture at the L2 vertibrae. Now though, its much of my lower back. I also get the craziest of pains in my shoulder blade area that has yet to be named or even investigated. it feels like my shoulder has dropped out of place and the pain is excrutiating. The same in my left knee, feels it locks up and I can't walk. One minute walking ok, next full blown limping and wincing then normal again! it frustrates me as medically there appears nothing wrong. Nothing has shown on xray so there is no treatment. People say take pain killers but, its intemittent. Yesterday my leg went twice while out. if I'd have taken painkillers, they'd not have kicked in at all for the first bout and the gap was too big to the second -utter madness ! This morning I woke feeling like a bus had hit me as I obviously did too much yesterday. I got a new dress though which was good. Tried on a few things and an amazing bright flowerery dress and cardigan which looked ok but I couldn't justify. I could feel myself going in the booth. One odf my daughters was there though and we took it steady and sat down. 

They do accupuncture here on the NHS but I think you need some high up referral to get to that. In regards recovery for my back, I'm at catch 22 at present. My physio refused to help me as she said My CFS/ME is too bad. Not tried osteopath.

I hope that the busy day in your village isn't too annoying today. I don't think people without the condition understand the need for peace. Its sunny here and am hoping I can maybe sit on my step a little today. If I somehow perk up, I may go as far as the end of the street to the canal to feed the geese and ducks with their offspring.

Beverley

i buy my own flowers, one a week or so, a pleasure. Not been brilliant weekend for me, probably collapsed with shock if it had been, live in hope for a good one.  lve had nausea quite a bit, bad today, dont know whats set if itoff, as if the rest isnt restrictive enough, the nausea adds to it, as its worse on movement.  But as my computer was impossible to use its an old desktop, l do like desktops, like big keyboard,clumsy with small  ones, as for phone net, not a chance, but did get taxi into town argos, and

 asyou can see still strugglingwith new small keyboard, clumsy with it, its a 12in netbook, and windows lo   mjor challenge for me, and l hate reading instructioin,s so trial and error. major challnge, still use a mouse, ill get ther.

​Hope you enjoyed your meal with your daughters, nice for them to see you a lot, i think maybe daughters stay closer, sons in and out, old saying, for me at least,  daughters all your life, sons till they get a wife. not sat out much, warm at times, sitll cool other times due to being windy.  i got the hit by a bus feeling just for doing the 20min light hedge clip with hand shears rechargeable ones, all it took, vicious circle, you do less due to fatigue or lack of strength, then when you do just a bit its like you done a major work out. Wont comment on drs responses, l was offered hydrotherapy, a long journey for a short session once a flood,  and long journey back, the journey would cancel any benafits of hydrot, i guess they do know or must  have been told how restricting lifestyle is, say no more or steam will come out my ears. Well l hope it stays fine at least, take care lynne

Hi Bev, yesterday didn't go well at all for me. Decided in morning I would try and cope with marathon. Went out to watch leaders run past for half an hour then in for lunch and tried to sit out back. Couldn't stand the noise - people shouting, clapping, banging things, shouting out numbers for relay and drums. Felt like my head was going to explode. Decided to go for a walk but couldn't go my usual safe route where there are lots of benches I can sit on if I get tired as that's where the marathon was so headed inwards away from noise. Was OK to start with then bumped into old dog walking friend hadn't seen for ages so had chat with her which was nice. Then realised all my energy was gone and still had 15 min walk back to house so stuck with nothing to sit on. Tried walking a bit but legs like lumps of cement so ended up having to sit on pavement. Felt like an idiot but luckily no-one went past. When eventually made it home totally shattered and still noise. Was so bad last night couldn't walk upstairs to bed, had to crawl on hands and knees. Still not good today and now have really bad toothache so having to go to dentist tomorrow which I hate. Don't think this is going to be one of my better weeks! I understand how you feel about your injuries. It is so difficult having treatment when you have M.E. as a lot of the time they suggest doing exercises which you don't have the energy or strength to do so you end up with advice you can't follow. I also have a wrist injury after I fell when out a couple of years ago and no-one really knows what is wrong with it. Nothing has shown up on scans but it is swollen and really painful. Have to wear wrist support sometimes when lifting things. Physio gave me exercises to do but only managed to do about two thirds of them. One was picking up a hammer and tipping it sideways but I don't even have the strength in my arm to pick up a hammer never mind tilt up up and down. Physio gave up on me. On a cheerier note I'm glad you got a new dress - it always give you a boost if you find something nice to wear. Weather got colder after I got my top but might get to wear it later this week. Hope you have a good week and get some decent weather!

Hi Lynne,

I'm sorry to hear you've not been good recently too as I've not had the best of the last couple of days either and although lots of people have happily gone away or done something nice with their bank holiday weekend, I've felt pretty ill and have had to rest alot. I made the mistake of feeding the ducks on Sunday. One of the girls wanted to take some photos and I felt I would be ok but It knocked me out and I ended up having two day sleeps. Bank holiday Monday, again day sleeps but no outing. My stomach is not happy at present to add to the mix. Oh, to be normal! It has been good having all the girls here though with them being able to spend time together even without me. I've just felt even more shattered than usual that's all.

I hear what you're saying regarding you don't do things due to fatigue and then grow weaker because of it so cant do as much. Catch 22. Annoying.

I had hydrotherapy and it was miles away too. It did help as I couldn't Bend and was in alot of pain. Sometimes I got a lift there which made it easier. I hadn't got the cfs/me diagnosis then and was just believing the derealisation was due to the accident like everyone was telling me and I used to have to lay down all the time due to pain so, didn't think about pacing etc. I'd recommend the hydro, so soothing and it made me feel more able physically. At first I couldn't raise my knees and within a few weeks, I could even move my raised knees from side to side.

I wish I'd got those flowers the other day, they were lovely. Little treats are good

Sorry to hear about the continuing trouble with the technology, I get very flustered with new instructions now and have to read several times. I initially cant even look then can't take it In so, end up spending too much time going through it all!

Hope you can rest today

Beverley

Hi Elaine,

Sorry yesterday proved difficult. At least you had a go at it. Shame it got so loud. Sounds quite a struggle sometimes for you too. I did too much as well by going on the canal and feeding the ducks, geese and goslings. It was evening time and pleasant enough but, fell asleep after and ended up with ttwo sleeps in the day and yesterday, had to sleep in day too.

Stayed in as not even up to sitting on step. Some days are just rubbish. One of my daughters has gone back tonight and another is away Thursday for a few days. I could do with a few days to myself right now. Just exhausted. Need to get back on track I feel. My stomach is struggling at the moment and not sure what sparked that.

It's hard not to think about what others will think when we have to sit On the pavement etc due to this condition. Even little things like this affect us.

I hope we both get a chance to wear our new clothes this summer. It Is Good to have something different to wear that fits.

Hope you get a decent rest today

Beverley

hi bverley,   replied once and lost it, drives you mad.  felt battered shattered from waking, and then neg thoughts start, sure l didnt do that much yesteerday, did go into town, argos for net book, but then called in freezer shop next door and carried all of 5ibs l50yds with 3 pit stops for l0min sit down, is that now enough to shatter met ;nextday, am l getting worse,  push it away, wait to function, never managed much, then fell asleep after lunch, woke feeling worse, but finally accepted l cant follow garden and rang gardener,, he came round straight away, young african guy, very pleasant and good price 30 for two biggish hedges, coming in morning, told him not too early, they sort of assume you sleep in, he smilled, l am up, just functioning like a zombie for 1-2hrs, but will try not to look, no one does things as you would, but needs must.    Then had to go into supermarket later, forgot to get money topay him, stupid of me, but

​morriosn had plant sale, l0p punnets of geranium, just leggy straggly needing light, alos osteo 50p, heavy atmosphere out, as if threatneing storm, think others tired with it, so l,m going with that at present.  l feel as if my life has gone into slow motion, everythig takes an age, l used to be a speed worker with most things, like to get things done quick. so now watch others andtry notto interfere in how they do it.   Well june is on us, they say a hot one, we,ll see, it doesnt start tomorrow by forecast, well take care lynnne

Hi Bev, one of the worse days of my life yesterday. My dog died unexpectedly and am devasted. Not really coping well at all.

hi elaine,  l,m so sorry, l know how bad your feeling, its horrible, so strange you said on last email  how you feared he was failing now, my last dog was the same, been failing for a whilefot a bit worse, but,d warned me, then he died suddenly 2days later at home with heart attack, its still a shock and floors you, adds to health problems due to grief.  lve felt very rough today, usual, so not been on, till l5min ago, saw your post and feel really sad for brodie and for you and husband.  not much else can be said, just hope you feel a bit better soon,  take care lynne

Oh Elaine, 

I'm so sorry to hear this. What a shock for you. I've not been on here until now due to not being great and having technical problems so really felt for you when I read this. Be gentle with youself right now as this is bound to affect how you are feeling and our energy levels are so hard to gauge. 

Sending you warm wishes and a virtual hug

Beverley

Hi Lynne,

Apologies for my late reply, I've not been on here until now due to not being great and having technical problems. I've been sleeping alot and wonder if the weather is making things worse? I've also had a coupole of good cries. I'ts down to in part with not being heard and understood as someone with a truly awful condition. I try too hard to keep people happy and then 'bang' back down. Like you, some days are like walking through treackle. 

I managed to meet up with some friends on saturday though which felt great at the time. I can tolerate alcohol and it was nice to have a meal, a couple of drinks and a catch up. Although, as ever, the feeling of 'where's my life' creeps in as it's like I'm stuck here and they are busy changing jobs, buying houses etc. Sunday was of course a rest and hoped to recover day but, still sdoinmg that today and a big travel tomorrow that will affect me.

Sounds like you got a bargain with the plants and hope they revive and look good after a good water and some light. I'ts been so hot !!! I'm more a winter person temperature wise in preference. 

Hope you're not suffering too much with the weather yourself.

Beverley

hi Beverley

Your last week sounds much like mine, apart from l didnt get the meal and drink.  Quite rough for a few days, did go into town a couple of times, and it was very hard going, thought l,d fall over at one time, and that before the heat, along with that having big computer probs, and now so reliant on computer, for mbs ordering things l,m lost without one, not that l live on it, 2-3 hrs a day l guess, so went down to argos and bought a net book, but hate learning new machines, plus windows l0, new to me, but did get a old desk top on order cheap from ebay, now arrived, windows 7 big keyboard and l,m away,  The heat phenomanul the last few days here, l do like summer and being warm and wearing light clothes, but cant sit out for more than l0min at a time, unless a shady spot, lve a cool shady front room so cool off  in there, l did attempt a bit of clipping with my new hand shears, rechargeable and they are quite good and light, but could only manage 5-10min of that, but today had a day of nausea, l had it last year  daily for months, its miserable, put omprazole settled it 90prcent, but recently been flaring a bit more, despite small plain diet, going lactose free, dont know what causes it, scope showed a bit of gastritus and had acid r diagnosed years ago, but in theory neither should cause level of nausea, but something does, and today quite bad, worse with movement, which sounds like a good exscuse, but drives me mad, as if the fatigue isnt restrictive enough, but hope its gone tomorrow. l,m in the garden clipping it gets worse, lve stop and lean or sit, hoping no one sees me. l so get the thoughts on seeing, speaking to people with normal or ish lives, l know people say others are worse off, l accept that and glad l,m not in their position, but it happens you know meet see read about far more having normal lives,social events regular, hobby clubs, hols weekends away, yes it gets to us,cant dwell on it for too long or you,d get so low, and most people have no idea, l dont think they could even contemplate the restrictions, my next door neighbours abroad 3 times a year, weekends in their caravan every 2-3 wks, busy social life, like many take it for granted, never have to miss any through health probs.

oops, mustnt think about it.  l actually feel hotter now than earlier on, near midnight and l,m stifled, sat in underwear, after throwing tshirt off, and still sticky,a  no  bed cover night.  The plants are flowering well, but will need watering tomorrow, theyre also drooping.  Glad you enjoyed your meal and drink, l could jsut drink a g and t with lots of ice just now, 

l hope your travel is going to be comfortable, with shade or breeze cooling you. good luck.  Elaine s not been on since losing brody, l felt sad myself and can  relate, its horrible feeling, family member, if your reading Elaine, wishing you well.  Hope all goes well tomorrow Beverley. think l,ll put fan on overnight, take care lynne

 

Hi Lynne,

As expected am pretty shattered still from the journey and resting not been out today and won't be going out tomorrow either. I hear what you're saying with other people's lives continuing while with this condition we're on limited capacity. I can't believe how little needs to be done to be totally floored.

How are you doing with this heat still? It's sure cooler but, still really 'close' as they used to say. I feel like a barrel at present! Feeling Hungrier and o idea why.

It's so sad or Elaine to loose Brody like that. Hope she's ok and getting support from family and friends.

Beverley

Hi Lynne,

As expected am pretty shattered still from the journey and resting not been out today and won't be going out tomorrow either. I hear what you're saying with other people's lives continuing while with this condition we're on limited capacity. I can't believe how little needs to be done to be totally floored.

How are you doing with this heat still? It's sure cooler but, still really 'close' as they used to say. I feel like a barrel at present! Feeling Hungrier and o idea why.

It's so sad or Elaine to loose Brody like that. Hope she's ok and getting support from family and friends.

Beverley

Hi Lynne,

As expected am pretty shattered still from the journey and resting not been out today and won't be going out tomorrow either. I hear what you're saying with other people's lives continuing while with this condition we're on limited capacity. I can't believe how little needs to be done to be totally floored.

How are you doing with this heat still? It's sure cooler but, still really 'close' as they used to say. I feel like a barrel at present! Feeling Hungrier and o idea why.

It's so sad or Elaine to loose Brody like that. Hope she's ok and getting support from family and friends.

Beverley

Oh dear!

Glitch with the system meant it wouldnt send last message ththen sent it 3 times!

Hi Lynne, still not coping well with losing Brodie. Couldn't stop crying for about a week. Couldn't bear being in house without him. My husband took some time off work and took me out in car to get out and went to friends house and sat there. She's away on hol and husband back at work now so first week in house on my own. How long did it take you to come to terms with losing your last dog? The house is so empty without him. Had emergency appt at dentist earlier and got two fillings. Feeling absolutely drained and depressed. Hope you are getting on OK.

Hi Bev, hope you are getting on OK. I'm not good at all just now. Not coping well with losing my dog and not been sleeping well either. Just been to dentist for 2 fillings and tooth is still sore now anaesthetic worn off so hope it calms down. Have no energy at all. Going around in a daze and still crying a lot. Am hoping things will get better in time. Barely even got the energy to write this. Mind blank.

HiElaine,  Its a horrible feeling, feeling that sad without them, and also, for me at least, the memory of him going, l dont think its easy any way, but right in front of you, as happened with my last 2 dogs, one with the vet here, my last old dog, like brody just collapsing in front of me, stroked him till he went. l think what l find hard, unlike people who are usually in a sad state at the end, your dogs are still wagging their tail smiling or even barking as my dog did at caller 5min earlier, they here with me when he collapsed, because theyre llike that you feel they shouldnt go, l guess l was teary with memories for a week, and l,d only had jester 6hrs, rescued at 8yrold, and l did have my younger dog 3yr old, that helped though still miss the character of the one gone. Some people even if they know theyre going to get another dog, believe in a waiting time, l dont, it doesnt mean disrespect or replacing the dog thats gone, but some where out there is a dog or puppy that needs a loving home, youi will help them and they you, wont be brody but another character you can love and they you. l,m sure at present youve felt more ill due to  grieving, it can do that even when youve not health probs, l can recall feeling like l,d flu,   ;l hope you will feel a bit better soon, lve been same old, as they say, but felt even more tired, think the weather turning grey and rainy doesnt help after a few days of lovely weather, we dont seem to get settled summers now, just odd days here and there.  lve been sleeping later and taking longer to come round, dont like that. or leaving my robe on later. Hoping some more sun will brighten us.  Anyway take it easy r and r, and you should start to feel a b it better soon, take care lynnex

Hi Lynne, thanks for your reply. Llke you I am stuggling with the way he went. He was really bright on Sunday before he died, walked further than normal and had other dog walkers fussing over him, he was quieter on Mon, sleepng Tues morning but seemed fine at lunch time. I took him out back garden and he caught a ball in mouth, gave him a massage and he was barking with tail wagging enjoying it and ate his biscuits fine. I put his lead on to take him for short walk round front and he collapsed in lane at side of house. After a while he managed to get up and stagger back to house where he collapsed again. At first I thought his back had gone into a spasm or he'd had a fit as he's had both before but soon realised there was something else wrong. His breathing was really shallow and it was like he'd gone paralysed. I phoned vet and he told me he couldn't come out till 6 (was about 2.30 when phoned him) or told me to take him up. My husband was at work with no car (it was being serviced), everyone I phoned wasn't in and I didn't want to attempt to move him like that anyway. My neighbour came in and sat with me till my husband got home. Could see he was getting worse and phoned vet again but still refused to come out and said they'd send a vet nurse to have a look. He died about 15 mins after my husband got home and was gone by the time the vet nurse got here. Was really distressing to watch him suffer all that time with no-one coming to help. Am furious with vet. My normal vet who is really nice phoned a couple of days later and said she thought it was a stroke and there would have been nothing they could have done. The vet on duty that day didn't even have the decency to phone and apologise for not coming to help or give me an explination as to why he died suddenly. Won't be using that vet practice again in future if I ever get another dog. Think the way he died is making it harder for me to deal with it as it was so unexpected I feel like I didn't have to prepare for it. I'd had him since he was 8 weeks old and he was nearly 14 and a half when he went so feel really lost without him. Might feel able to have another one in time but definitely not yet. Not been sleeping or eating properly and feel totally drained. Struggling doing everything just now. 

Hi Elaine,

I'm not surprised you're feeling out of It still. Without cfs/me your dog dying suddenly and the dentists for treatment would be hard but, couple that with this horrible condition that makes everyday things difficult, it's so much harder. Brody was like a friend and he's been with you a long time. The shock of him going so suddenly is such a difficult thing. I'm glad your husband was able to stay off work a little to be there for you. Take it one day at a time. Rest as much as you can and be gentle with yourself.

Am thinking of you

Beverley

Hi  Elaine, yes its bad memories, dogs are such troopers how they keep going and enjoying life as much as they can when obviously so ill. ln the months before my old dogs had a few fit type events, he,d lie on his side and couldnt move,l,d stroke him it would pass within a couple of minutes and back to normalish  l,d took him to the vets and he ws bright wanting a sniff around the shrubbery area, l told the vet he was livelier, she said its adrenaline, and recommended putting him to sleep there and then, l ws shocked,  upset, said no, and took him home, okish for two days got on sofa and barked then fell down, must have been awful for you outside when he fell over, l think some vets are hard, seem calous at times, just watched supervet tonight, he,s lovely with pets and owners, l had to hav another dog a cross alsation collie, looked like a golden coated alsation, she was gorgeous, like brodie a very thick double coat, fluffy. At l4yrs her hips were going, on and off for odd days, then they went alltogether, l hung one for days, cleaning up after her, laid out, but she wagged her tail, barked, smiled, just couldnt walk and had to get vet out in the end, he was so callous, after he ws more concerned about his car, as he,d no bags with him for her, even though l offered a cover, to protect his damm car, he,d to send for asstd with bags, no empathy at all, l also changed vets.  The new ones much more empathetic, they even send a bereavement card with last lost one. He,s been in your life a long time, and it will take a while to feel better, plus the cfs will be aggrevated with the emotional impact.   l hope you feel  better soon, just do what your able, it all keeps, youll be glad for weekend so your husband can support, so take care lynne

Hi Bev, thanks for your reply. House feels really empty and don't know what to do with myself. Am feeling awful today after dentist - feel like someone's beaten me up, every bit of my body aches and tooth I had filling in still really sore though dentist said it might be senstive for a while. If it doesn't settle I might need it taken out but couldn't handle that just now. Have to go back next week for another filling up top so dreading that too. Once did an M.E./CFS course where there was a diagram of a tar pit with someone stuck in it waving their arms about struggling to get out and that's how I feel just now. I suppose since I'm at rock bottom just now the only way is up. On the plus side I've lost weight without trying as I couldn't face eating when we lost Brodie then my tooth was that sore I could hardly eat or drink anything. Couldn't even have chocolate to cheer me up as the sugar was making the pain worse. Have no plans for anything this week. Will just take a day at a time and see how I feel. Hope you are having a decent day. 

Hi Lynne, your cross alsation collie sounded lovely - bet I would have loved her. That's terrible a vet making a fuss about his car when You've just lost a dog. A lot of them are really heartless - just after your money I think. Our first vet was rubbish too. Brodie wasn't well at one point and they said he had hayfever but it turned out to be pneumonia and he could have died. Then they knocked him out to do some sort of test then said it hadn't worked and broke one of his teeth in the process. We changed vets after that and really liked the current one at first but one vet we really liked left and was replaced by the man who was on duty the day he died who I was never keen on. One other vet was really nice there so saw her most of time and she did accupuncture on him which really helped extend his life. She sent me a bereavement card when he died too. At one point when Brodie was 8 he had a lump which we had tested and were told he had lymphoma and wouldn't live long. Had to take him to a vet hospital where he had big operation to remove lump and surrounding tissues. Then when they examined the lump there it turned out just to be a fatty lump so he had the operation for nothing. It turned out the lab they'd sent the sample to in the first place had got Brodie's sample mixed up with another dogs so he had an operation he didn't need and the other poor dog which really did have lymphoma wasn't getting any treatment - it was awful.  It's amazing he lived to 14 and a half when he had all these things done to him. If I get another dog will ask other dog owners which vet they go to and if they have had any bad experiences before choosing another vet. Body is very sore today so am just resting. Hope you are having a good day.

Hi Elaine,

Am sorry you're still suffering with your teeth as well as grieving for Brody. Am hoping you can take it easy over the next few days and weeks.

Am hoping you can keep on top of your symptoms whilst going through all this. Not sure what the weather is like with you , grey and threat of rain here. Hope you have some sunshine at least.

I ve had a horrid few days and wish that I felt more able to deal with it. I know you'll get what I mean, just no energy. And internet playing up not helping!

Be good to yourself and take time to recover

Best wishes

Beverley

Hi Bev, sorry to hear you're having a bad time too. Have felt totally wiped out all week and no signs of picking up yet. Have been getting up late, falling asleep in afternoon and going to bed early. Not been out house for a few days. Weather is awful here too - grey and raining most of week. Tooth still sore so still can't eat properly which isn't helping. Am praying it will settle down through time. House looks like a tip but just don't have the energy to do anything about it which is so frustrating as if I could keep myself busy it would take my mind off things. Might attempt to get house house tomorrow a bit if I can. Hope you have a relaxing weekend and that next week is a better one for both of us.

Take care

Elaine

hi Elaine,

It's been a bad few days for me too. Wish I could sleep for month! I really hope your tooth settles soon. Tooth problems are one of the things I find hard to deal with. I had a complicated wisdom tooth removed in hospital a couple of years ago and it caused a lot of pain and discomfort. Cfs/me makes everything worse I feel. It's horrid feeling ill with tooth pain.

Hopefully the weather will brighten up a bit soon and you 'll feel more able to venture out. Even if only to sit on the step.

Hope you have a better weekend

Beverley

Hi Bev, hope you getting on OK. I'm still really missing Brodie - the house is so empty without him. My tooth has settled a bit but still a bit sore. Dentist appointment again on Friday for another filling so not looking forward to that. Always seem to feel drained and dizzy after dentist - think it's the drilling and stress. Had a bit energy today so decided to have a clearout of some clutter to take my mind of things but overdid it and am shattered now. Will need to rest tomorrow but quite pleased getting rid of some junk. Managed a short walk on Sunday too so was nice getting out house. Take care. Elaine

Hi Elaine,  l,m wondering if Beverley is feeling unwell, not seen or heard on mbs, but think she,d something on, l know lve felt shattered last few days worse than usual, so not been out  much, been sleeping a lot, too much l dont mind the odd half hour daily, but not 1-2hrs and wake up feeling lousy as today, Last time out Sunday and that was very hard going, the grey rainy weather doesnt help, l did so some gardening jobs on sunday, overdid it l guess, felt they were essential jobs, so probably added to fatigue, l,m not sure. But we do need to get out  sometimes, hope the weather improves, it helps.  Everyone hates going to dentist, so good luck with it.  l,m sure your missing brody a lot and my house would feel empty without my dog. `Retriever` lost his retriever suddenly two days ago, still shocked and grieving for his loss, takes a while to deal with it.  Are you going to vote thurs, anyway good luck with the dentist, take care lynne.

Hi Elaine,

Hope you have managed to rest well today after de clutter yesterday. Am feeling pretty shattered here too today. Overdoing things Is so easy with this condition. Sounds good that you were able to get out for a walk on Sunday at least. I think being outside can be really beneficial, especially when you have days where that's impossible.

It's going to take time to readjust after Brody, he was a very important part of your life. Keep being gentle with yourself.

Re the dentists, I hope that this one isn't as bad as the last one. Cfs/me affects the healing process I believe.

Just started raining really heavily here, hope it breaks the muggy feeling of the last couple of days.

Hope you're feeling a bit less shattered soon

Beverley

H Lynne,

I sent you a reply on muscle weakness vs muscle fatigue a couple of days ago but unfortunately the site doesn't always send notifications?

Hope things are okwith

Beverley

Hi Lynne, sorry you've not been feeling so good. It's really frustrating when you can't do the things you want. I noticed yesterday that Retriever had lost his dog too and understand exactly how he must be feeling. It's been 3 weeks now since I lost Brodie but am still really missing him. The house just seems so quiet and empty. Can take my mind of it when I'm busy but when I'm tired and can't do much it's worse as would really love to give him a cuddle to cheer me up and see him gazing at me but he's not there. It's really horrible. I dread going downstairs in the morning to nothing but at least I'm not crying so much now. Hopefully it will get easier in time. Managed a little walk today and bumped into another dog walker who knew him and had to tell him but managed to speak about it a bit better so must be improving. He'd lost a few dogs too so understood. Miss the social side of having a dog as well as the company in the house. Dreading dentist on Friday but at least when it's over I might feel a bit more relaxed. My husband is on holiday the first 2 weeks in July so at least I'll have some company then which might help. Am still a bit undecided about what to vote for tomorrow, not really in the mood for it but will go along if I can. Hope you feel a bit better the rest of the week. Be kind to yourself. Elaine 

Hi Bev, managed a little walk today but had to tell another dog walker about Brodie which was upsetting but he understood as has lost dogs too and at least I got to chat to someone. Missing him more today as been really tired after doing too much yesterday so more time to think about things. Still dreading dentist but will be more relaxed once it's over even if I'm not feeling great. Just planning a quiet day tomorrow and recovery day after dentist ordeal on Friday. My house looks onto a grassy area where everyone walks past with dogs all the time so that doesn't help me much. Had curtains shut when he died but makes it quite depressing and gloomy sitting in dark so trying not to look out the window too much. Really clammy here too. Heat making me feel more tired. Am considering trying to get a break away for a few days when my husband is on holiday but will need to see if I have the energy before I arrange anything. Could really do with a change on scenery. Hopefully your energy levels will pick up again soon with rest and better air quality. Take care. Elaine

Hi Elaine,

I'm also hoping for a little time away but, Like you are hoping to have enough energy just t think about it. Awful.

Hope some sunshine helps us both. Glad you got out little this week.

Only a shortpost as machine is playing up.

Beverley

Hi Elaine,  Glad your feeling a little better, it does take a long time, l dont get upset about my dog that died a few month ago anymore, but still feel sad if l,m reminded of him, l dont know how l,d feel with an empty house, l dont even have a husband to distract, l,d be lost without my dog. they can be social and motivators, get me up in the morning, which has been getting harder recently sometimes wonder worry if the fatigue weakness is getting worse, or just a bad  period of time, or maybe the humidity or allergens, Todays been quite warm, more humidity than sunshine,  but not rained, bizarre, looking at london sth east on news, hope it doesnt come north.  l did some gardening jobs on sunday as not too bad that day, had felt off it sat, then did too much, talk about pacing, l used all my energy for a job that needed doing, smaller back hedge, still hard work now, tidy again, adjoining one. Monday and Tues really tired again, falling asleep in aft, 1-2hrs, not choice, but cant stop myself, even when having reasonable night, then feel lousy on waking, to just sit for 20min or more, just to go into vertical stance, Today went down to supermarket, and suprised how nice it was out, really pleasant. It will be good your husband at home for a couple of weeks, if your able to have a few outing together it will take your mind off brody a little bit. As for voting, l,m bound to pick the losing side, can sort of guess how it will go, close but ......... won.  l might stay up a  couple of hours and see how its going , might send me to sleep.  Strange both you and Retriever losing your retrievers near to each other, so youll know how each other are feeling still struggling with the loss in your home, he said `his best friend`, but your dog is the best friend and most loyal  and affectionate over many years, and none judgemental.  Though good to talk to people occassionally,  and dog walking leads to that also.  Well hope your dentist appt isnt too bad an experience.  lve got one foot in the grave on, some days l feel like it, but its so funny, as some old comedies are, they dont seem to make many funnyt series now, cant think of any, and do we as a society need cheering up, the eu campaigns added to it,never seen or heard the like in years of seeing general election campaigns, so much insults and threats, just for having different opinions, what a state, we used to be able to support different opinions political parties in partnerships, friends and could stay friendly and joke about it, not get nasty and insulting.  At least we,ll all get a break after a couple of days of inquests, then it will be football saturation, for a while, but look forward to olympics enjoy them, Good luck tomorrow, with dentist, lve got dr, painful in a different way, the verbal aspect, so also dread drs, but weve got to go get it over with. Hope you get some nice outing when your husband is home take care lynne

 

hi Beverley, No sorry didnt see it, but lm not with it half the time, been bad this last few days, really tired and off it sat, sunday not too bad so did essential garden job, did quite a bit and felt a bit worn out, but sunday to tues felt worse, those muscles we dont use enough due to fatigue, so  do a bit and its like youve climbed a mountain and the tiredness, slept 2hrs each aft mon tues, really thought i was getting worse, but today only 40min wow, woke up feeling rubbish, but came round and got  into town, really pleasant and warm out, only an hour or so, by then very humid, so home.  l know you struggle in the morning as l do, takes an age to come round, even if lve slept reasonably well, do you have to sit on bed for quite a while, before even standing upright, unbeleivable, being a struggle to just stand up, its not pain, either fatigue or weakness, just such  an effort, it feels llike gravity is gettin heavier, when watching tim peake in space, thinking that would feel good. though wouldnt care for living in a capsule, thought on seeing him back on earth how pale he looked, and of course occurred he would, no sun, no wind, the way this summers going dont think many will be getting tanned, even when warm its mostly humidity.just taking my cardi off, warming up.  How are you, hope your not feeling too bad and able to get out a bit, and your daughter is more settled. l thought it was all girls you had, so is your son the second oldest. my son called the other night, so good to see him, l cant stay angry with him if l  try, not just because he bought me a toblerone, just the way it is, we chat, put the world to right, he different opinion to me on eu,other things, but its ok. l grew up when people supported differnt political parties,sports teams, we just teased each others, now far  too many  insulting and nasty towards others with a different opinion, not just eu but  over anything, trivials, even tv progs, l cant stand that attitude thats growing, lack of tolerance towards others whove their own opinions choices, then insult or even threaten them, its erroding democracy, not much respect, eg l wasnt particularly a fan  of Margered Thatcher, but the response at her funeral was shocking, people didnt do that in the past, whoever it was, whether you liked them or not, its mob agenda,not protests in peace, hope w e dont see it tomorrow in response, to voters who dont win whichever side, we know it will be on the Scots golf course, andhope nowhere else   On sat or sun night, cant recall l,m sat at keyboard, head bobbing down and shake myself to awakeness, felt like a tolddler,now feeling tired again, but hope to stay awake for an hour or two and see how the vote is going, got a good idea. Anyway  hope your well and not as stressed about your daughter, easier said than done l know, mine are away and still get anxious if theyve probs. But take care lynne

Hi Lynne,

My daughter is definitely doing better this week but, we've been doing half days. She was at wedding on her dad's side last weekend and she said it was too much for her. She's definitely not been doing so good stress wise with some things but, she's been able to talk through them with myself and a therapist we have been allocated. Seems to b helping which is the main thing. Yes, my son is the 2nd oldest and is close to the youngest one so it's good for her that he's back from uni. They play computer games together alot.

The weather is a total pain at the moment! Hot , humid, grey, can't work out what clothes are best.

I've come to the conclusion that we are either into segregation or Integration as people. The segregation types are very intolerant of integration and thus In relationship to the eu will be voting to keep things seperate and won't see the benefit of any other view. I agree that there used to appear less nastiness when it came to different views. My friends have been asking about what I was voting for and I don't mind discussing with them but, I'm not willing to discuss with others as, no idea where where will lead. It means we don't have true freedom of speech right now.

Luckily, I don't have TV so, I've not seen so much of how bad things have got between leave and remain campaigners just the odd newspaper report.

My tinnitus has been pretty bad for a couple of weeks now which is irritating. Think my issues go In Cycles! well done for getting some of the garden sorted but, look out for some help for that too.

Possibly your body is just in another part of a cfs/me routine at the moment

....and so resting more etc hopefully it will switch again to something more manageable. I just re read my other bit of message before I accidentally sent it. The Integration issue isn't as binary as it appears but, its been long day here!

Hope the weekend brings some relief from symptoms

Best Wishes

Beverley

Hi Bev, well got through dentist ordeal which was thankfully not as bad as last week. He said last weeks filling was really deep so might take a few weeks to settle so hopefully it will improve in time. Feel absolutely drained and shattered now but no more dentists appointments for a while (hopefully!!) so feel relieved. Just planning to rest the next few days and hopefully will be able to eat more normally next week and my energy levels might pick up again. Am still going to try and get away in July if I can but will see how I feel. I even find packing to go away exhausting which seems ridiculous but that's M.E. for you - oh to be normal! Hope you are O.K. and have a good weekend. Elaine.

Hi Lynne, dentist over so really relieved but feel absolutely shattered now. Body aching all over. Really humid here too which makes me more tired. Am still missing Brodie but not crying all the time. Have been looking at photos of him and thinking what a happy life he had. House is really empty without a dog and will get another one but not yet. Maybe Autumn or Spring, not sure as depends how I feel and what I see. Even though it's not practical am very tempted by the thought of  another golden retriever as they are great dogs. I filled in an application form for a failed guide dog as they can make great pets but I'd probably have to wait ages to get one as there is a big demand for them but will wait and see. No dog could ever replace my Brodie but I think I could bond with another dog in time. I prefer older programmes too like One Foot In The Grave, Only Fools and Horses, Open All Hours, etc. Often tape old programmes to watch when there is nothing on. Have been watching all the original Dallas series and sometimes watch Little House on The Prairie when I'm tired as it's not noisy and is easy to watch - used to watch it when I was young and healthy - long time ago! Well done for getting all your gardening jobs done. You may be tired now but at least you achieved something. Surprise result with the EU so who knows what lies ahead now. Hope you have a good weekend. Elaine

Hi Elaine, Hope you have a better day tomorrow, hope l do also, felt shattered today, sometimes its to the extent of feeling ill with, but l also stayed up late, got engrossed in results coming in, sure was a suprise, didnt expect that, thought it would be a close one for in, you never know, l dont think it will solve a lot of problems, too many now with society, but hope it can help with some, who knows, time will tell how it will go, bit like us, unknown from week to week, but we live in hope, l sometimes watch little house on the prairie, l used to fancy micheal landon, but some of those series are easy watching, not too much studying or concentration needed, which l struggle with. Some of these series as with one foot in the grave, judge judy, most have been repeated quite a few times, think 3rd rerun for one foot, l liked the one with the puppet  that pippa takes to the toilet, clever writing.  l cant do with the noisy crime films.  Retrievers are lovely natured dogs, l,d a neighbour who had one,  but seemed a really big one, dont know if theyre all the same size, but their 2yr old girl rolled on the floor with it, so patient, l think theyre even more tolerant than labs, l like that their coat is longer.l got a small terrier due to age and smaller , but honestly its not been easier than a big dog, more exciteable and a bit keen, if l,d known l,d have got a big dog again, temprament means a lot, more when your not well, and your husband would be sharing care, but would you get a puppy or older dog, if you could  find a older retriever. cant  say lve seen many in rescue kennels, there full of staffies x now,   My eyes are sore today and think pollen very high, l guess  your husband finished work for hols today, if so, hope you can get out and about in car, l really miss doing that.  l used to joke with him about how l,d miss his chauffering, didnt know how much, about spending time together on outings means a lot, well take care lynne

Hi Beverley, Hope your day as been okish, l felt shattered today, to point of feeling ill, but couldnt resist and stayed up for results to see how its going, and what a suprise,  didnt see that one comeing. Hope it works out well and can help with some problems but certainly wont be a cure all, too many probs for that now, but if it can improve things a bit. l think the establlishment in campaign actually lost them votes, l dont think its a good idea to continually name call insult threaten your own people and in an aggressive way, calling mass people racists, liars, haters, loony,s who dont care about the future of the country or their kids future is just stupid,insulting,  rubs brits up the wrong way, back to bullying tactics, probably made the undecided minds up, l didnt feel strongly in or out, tbh, feared affects from both in and out, l think for me its as much if not more about democracy being erroded. l see it on mbs all the time, just having your own opinion given in a non abusive way can result in mockery insults abuse even threats, also against yhoung kids, over something as trivial about what tv progs they like to watch, so mock and insult them, and you know for all their tough front how sensative young teens can be, l noticed this morning on news Boris Johnson had a crowd or mob shouting vile langauge at him and bumping his car, that is not how Englanduk used to behave, everyone has g..e winners who they didnt vote for, shouildnt resort to abuse, threats, thats no  democracy, its  extremism erroding it. l cant stand the thought of England being overrun with extremists from wherever, wont be my future but my sons, 

he sees it and worried, even talks about such  as going to new zealand or japan in the future, whether just talk l dont know, millions have gone, l see their pics on fb in wonderful looking places, and sunshine, envy. l think integration essential for unity, otherwise radically different lifestyles, even laws,future goals. always led to probs in history, The usa were wiser, they got numerous nationalities from 400yr ago, but somehow, maybe coercion turned them all into Americans with pride in being that, pledge allegience flag loyalty,  same lifestyles, might not be perfect, buit works in main. l remember post ww2 refugees arriving in our village, germans italians poles malays, etc, bit iffy at first but became integrated brits, friends, marriage partners, lve had lovely italian neighbours, when my son was born, most brought ususal knit cardi,s, they brought me a cooked chicken, trifle, and trod their own wine, to share with us,good neighbours.  Well better get off my soap box, we live in hope for selves family and society.N

Did same as you, Wsas going to say its nice for your daughter to have an older brother to support her, game playing tell me about it, had it for years, My son visited a few days ago, l,m sat gabbing, as l do, as yo can see, he,s sat at side of me, phone ipad whatever, something with a screen being scrolled through, think he went to sleep after that, wonderful, lol, told him thats a first,lol,prob ably on my soap box. Good yoiu found a solution that helps your daughter, means a lot for them to be settled. Hope youve a decent weekend, early night for me, catch  up. take care lynne

Hi Elaine,

Glad you got through the dentist ok. I don't like them as I now have the most awful sound goes through my ear when they are doing work. The dentist told me quite a few people get it and its like someone actually drilling in the ear? awful. still, I don't have to go for a while. Any kind of proceedure seems to enhance the symptoms of this condition. Even appointments where only talking is involved. It's a pain !

I know what you mean about going away:the packing, the planning, I wish someone else would sort all that out as it does take it out of you and then the travel !!! Where are you thinking of going to? 

I'm sneaking off out today and staying over night, I'm on auto pilot at present and hope that I don't super crash because of today. I've had a lot to deal with because of my youngest being bullied and am surprised I've not been totally wiped already, such a strange condition that can be hard to guage. I've been trying to remember to take a vitamin C with zinc tablet and a multi B vitamin, maybe that has helped? I'm still not really here but, my brain fog hasn't been as bad although the memory hasn't all of a sudden improved and I'm still stumbling in conversation. I'm not doing as much as I did even a year ago most of the time either so maybe its a combination of factors. It just feels like i'm on the edge of a nose dive and I'm just waiting for it to start? 

I hope you get a bity of energy back when you can eat ok agsin. When I had the complicated wisdom out (when I didn't know what I had was cfs/me even though I had these symptoms then) it made me miserable not being able to eat. I could only open my mouth an inch and it was christmas time, just bad timing on my part but, when you feel so ill, yiu just want it over with and 'surprizingly' they had spaces in the calendar then ! So, gently does it Elaine and plan a nice treat to eat when you get to eating again.

I hope your weekend goes well too and that you can get a good balance of rest and activity. One of the reasons I'm heading away for the night is because where I am was flooded at christmastime this year and they are holding their christmas today, 6 months later although, it was boxing day when we were hit so... but, I don't ned the extra madness right now, a little like you with the runners earlier in the year, too much stimulation of the wrong kind. 

best wishes 

Beverley

Hi Lynne, 

I'm still shocked by the results tbh, I was hoping things would be different and the fact it was so close with a fifth of people not voting means we'll not know what would have happened if they had. Visually on the voting map online, the fact that Ireland and Scotland were completely yellow as was london and many of its boroughs, made it seem like Remain had no chance but , in the statistics, it was a percent or so difference in many areas. We will just have to see but, yes, things were nasty and I am hoping that things settle and aren't as bad as predicted. 

Name calling doesn't help, you're right, it's back to the school yard with that behaviour. Also, there were lots of searches 'after' the referendum on the internet to see what the EU does, pity people didn't look before hand to make an informed choice. I think many people voted in fear on both sides, sadly. 

[color=#3a2e28]I hope your weekend goes well too and that you can get a good balance of rest and activity. I know you have been feeling it more recently and I'm surprized I've not had a huge crash with the recent extra things to deal with re the school. I'm heading away for the night and hope the payback isn't too bad. One of the reasons is because where I am was flooded at christmastime this year and they are holding their christmas today, 6 months later although, it was boxing day when we were hit... anyway, I can't deal with the extra issues that brings.

Hope we have some nice weather and you get to sit out in the garden a little.

Best wishes

Beverley[/color]

 

Hi Beverley, Hope you have a nice break away, l think its so good to get something social in our lives, be it hard at time or afterwards, as you can get that when doing nothing. Its just started raining in last couple of hours but still warm, and l ve felt shattered again from waking, had 2 or 3 drops off to sleep on sofa, its a pain and bore. cant stop myself, eyes sore doesnt help. l,m sick already of listeing to eu after affects, and numerous opinion,s,  and as l said before, no one accepts democratic vote, but media make everything worse, do everything to death, and so cynical, l think weve become an entitlement society, and everyones a victim, many wanting to get rich quick, l know weve problems and failing and l,ll oppose the wrong, and bad,but when n you see how many other  coutries live, and poor  kids, in wars, living off rubbish tips, were lucky in comparison. l must stop watching news channels, just wind me up. l and many with chronic health probs would be over the moon to be able to walk a mile or two, travel freely in uk or abroad, still live in hope, keeps you going and a few small treats.  Christmas time in June a new one, but who cares as long as you can enjoy it, and your overnight adventure.   Wales have just won footie, theyre doing well, having Bale helps. Guess your in the valley basin to get flooded, lm up hillside, so not a problem, so you deserve a better Christmas, whenever it is.  Take  care and enjoy. lynne

Hi Lynne, hope you've had a better day today. I took some junk to charity shop earlier and sat out back this afternoon. Not the same at all without Brodie as he used to love being in his garden. Such a shame he went when he did and didn't see any of the summer after getting him through winter though he might have struggled with the heat I suppose. Am tempted to get a retriever puppy but get a bitch this time but I know it would be a lot of work. There seem to be a lot of them for sale just now but feel it's much too soon to get one just now as would be comparing it to Brodie too much. Maybe later in the year. My husband has one more week at work then is off for 2 weeks after that. Might try and go away for a few days if we can. My husband can get cheap accomadation through his work so could stay in one of the guest rooms available. Problem is we've stayed in a lot of them with Brodie in the past so would have to try and go to one we've not been to before. Will see if I have the energy before booking anything. My eyes are really itchy too today with the pollen. Neighbour over back put log burning stove on not long ago when I was sitting out so had to come in as eyes were streaming with the smoke. Don't understand how someone could have a fire on when it's boiling outside! Have got a sore head now too - too much heat and pollution I think. Going to try and go to supermarket tomorrow if I can. Feel really shattered now - the heat just drains me. Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend. Elaine

Hi Bev, hope you enjoyed your night away. I try and escape too when there is anything busy going on. Can't handle lots of noise or conversations with too many people at once. Must be awful being flooded - would take ages to clear up the mess. That's the downside of being near water. I love water and my house looks onto the sea. There was a big storm a few years ago that swept away a lot of the sea path but luckily the sea didn't come as far over as the houses. Love sitting at rivers too and have an outdoor and indoor water feature. Just think the sound of it is so relaxing. I should have been a mermaid! Strange having Christmas in June but I suppose people don't like feeling they've missed out on something. Managed to go to supermarket this morning so got lots of healthy stuff as feel really run down with eating nothing but soft mushy things. Tooth still a bit sore but will just take more painkillers so I can eat. Making a chicken dish I invented tonight with peppers, courgettes, red onion, garlic, tin tomatoes, fresh basil and mozzarella on top and will have with potatoes, kale and carrots. Takes a bit of preparation but always seem to get an energy boost after eating it. Resting just now before making tea (husband watching footy). Really miss the dog as I would have played with him now. My husband can get cheap accomadation through work so if going away will stay in one of these rooms. Not planning going too far as don't have the energy. There is room free up near Dundee so am considering going there as think there are really nice beaches up that way and not far to travel. Just want a change of scenery anywhere really.  Healthy eating, bit walking and resting planned for me this week. Hope you're not too shattered after your weekend. Elaine

H

hi, just call me butter fingers, new keyboard, getingused to it.  Well its df cooled down here today, quite bright this morning and humid, but cooler now.  It is as if somethings missing in  your life when your dogs not with you, you can see where they would have been sat laid, it does seem worse when they get through winter then go in the fine weather. My neighbour had some sort of burning stove outside, not bbq, worse, l couldnt stop coughing, eyes streamig. they are sore today, not quite as stinging, small mercies, but the fatigue just as bad, from waking, its a pain waking up and feeling like hell every day, then big effort of will to just stand up and move about, it does slowly improve a bit, so managed a much needed tidy up. Went down to supermarket after lunch, few things l needed, treated myself to flowers, chrysanth and sweet william, like flowers about the house, it was to aldi so got some of their cheap veg offers, 49p.  l  would love to have a house next to a lake or river, l,m drawn to water also, the sight, sounds, even smell of it, memories of growing up and the nearby river a adventure place for us, loved it,  though dont like being in it, never  a good swimmer, also love being on boats. l have a small pond with a few goldfish in, always frogs in it also,

l like frogs, so funny.  It would be really good if you can  get a few days away, think it does us good, just a change of scenery and an adventure. Yes their was a bit of footie on today, think its still on, Ireland this aft, they lost to france, shame. Think Germany beating slovakia at present. l,m not a big fan, just quick look in.  Hope the weather is nice if and when you go away, sure youll enjoy break away. Scotlands lovely, more so if weathers good of course, when it rains it rains.  Take care lynne 

What is ME?

Hi Lynne, have booked the room so going away next week. I stay in Scotland so used to the changeable weather. Hopefully shouldn't take more than a couple of hours to get there. Used to love going to the Highlands but went all the time with Brodie so too upsetting to go there just now. Not bothered what the weather is like as there looks like there should be indoor or outdoor things I could do. Really looking forward to a change of scenery with no housework or cooking! Managed a 30 minute walk today and bumped into dog walker friend so had nice chat with her and a cuddle with her dog. Did relaxation CD when got home. Healthy tea planned too. If I want to go away need to start looking after myself and get back to pacing or won't have the energy to go. It's nice to treat yourself to flowers - they really brighten the house up. I usually go to Asda and top up shopping in Co-op or Lidl. A new Aldi opened near me recently but not been in it yet. Have noticed it advertising cheap fruit and veg so will give it a try. A friend of mine has a pond with fish in her garden and also has frogs. Once one jumped on her foot and wouldn't let go - think they get quite amorous at breeding season and jump on anything! I saw a hedgehog in my back garden last night which was nice. Am hoping it will come back as I have a lot of slugs in garden and I think they eat them. Neighbour has silly log stove on again and it's not even cold and is making my eyes run. Hope you are having a good day. Elaine

M.E. Is myalgic encephalomyelitis which is another term for chronic fatigue syndrome or post viral fatigue syndrome. They are really just the same condition but different doctors call it by different names! 

Hi Lynne,

Sorry for late reply, only just got to where I can, if that makes sense? Absolutely shattered ! Yes, Live in the valley, near the river and canal but the water comes up through the cellar. The local government are giving people flood grants but, I forgot to fill out my form with my CFS/ME brain and was only reminded when the chap came to my door by mistake ! I could do without the extra hassle of things like this. 

I'm not sure if my night away or all the stress with the youngest, etc has taken its toll but, am now recovering again. I keep falling asleep and have been in bed before nine the last two nights wiyh a snooze in the day too. My friend with our condition, is going to london for a week on sunday and I truly hope she can manage it. As you say, its good to do some social thingas if we can. I've not ben out for the last couple of days due to feeling so ill but, have a trip out with daughter tomorrow and a restful sunday on the cards. Was going to see a friend but have cancelled. Yesterday I had to phone the school and I was making such silly mistakes, I think I sounded drunk, it's pointless getting embarassed. 

My daughter needs her passport renewing and although it shouldn't seem stressful, I managed to fill two forms out wrongly-again with the CFS/ME brain and felt completely overwhelmed with it all. Even though you don't normally need a countersignitory with a renewal, she has changed alot since the last one so was having to chase someone to sign it. I know people don't get it when I say things like that and it's frustrating because these things now create too much extra pressure when they didn't before and then there's an added pressure of somehow you shouldn't be struggling from people who supposedly care. A friend last week said "yeah, everyone has pain, I click too" It took alot but, I held myself. Totally un empathic and always seems to be. You literally have to be on all fours crying before this friend gets it.

How are you? are you still sleeping alot too? The weather can be such a difficult one, so hard to guage and to see what affect that has on us. I hope you've been able to enjoy the fleeting sunshine we have had and you managed some time in the garden.

Best wishes 

Beverley

Hi Elaine,

Sorry for my late reply, have been recovering the last few days. The time away was nice but have been hit with some payback now, it was like waiting for a storm to happen ! I think alot of things combined have hit all at once so, I'm thinking I've not done too badly in reality. I keep nodding off in ther day and hsve been in bed before nine the last couple of nights and just so, so tired. the cleaner came today and she used some chemicals of some sort and put a blue thing in the cystern !! I had to get my son to open all the windows and doors, awful ! I can't tolerate the smells. 

I love being near the water too and, even though , yes-I can't get decent insurance because my house is too near the river and yes, water does come in, I didn't get it nearly half as bad as those further down the valley where the water went to chest height, just scary. 

My mum inlaw used to live at Sandhead on the west coast of scotland and it was beautiful there, she lived right next to the beach and I loved to go there in the summer with the children. I hope you find somewhere nice and the change of scenary and air, is beneficial.

Is your tooth still bothering you or has it eased now? Hope it has eased and you can eat more freely again. Such a pain in so many ways. I know you're still missing Brody and it's hardly surprising given the amount of time you spent together. Animals have a beneficial affect on us when we aren't our best too so, with him not around when you're suffering from the dentist maybe you're missing him even more. Hope you have been able to stick to your restful week that you planned and are feeling a bit less shattered.

Best wishes

Beverley

Hi Bev, glad you are feeling a bit better. I think a combined pressure of things always leads to a relapse. I hate smell of chemicals, perfumes, etc too. Gives me sore head and affects my breathing. Wasn't like that before I was ill. The pressure with your daughter being bullied will be an ongoing stress which will drain your energy. A lot of bullying seems to go on these days. My neighbours son was being bullied and she ended up having to move him to a different school. Hopefully your daughter (and you) will get a break from it in the school holidays. I stay on east coast of Scotland at sea but can get very cold here with east wind though we often miss a lot of the rain. My tooth has settled a bit now though still not quite right - dentist said it might take a few weeks. Managed to meet a friend for lunch on Wednesday which was nice but just resting now as have booked to go away for a few days next week which I'm nervous about as not feeling great but at least I'll have no cooking or housework to do. Still really missing Brodie. Went for short walk yesterday and bumped man with another retriever so walked with him and took his dog on lead to see if I felt I could cope with walking another big dog but it felt fine. Have been looking at puppies on the internet but not planning getting anything yet just looking. Too soon and though I'd love one not sure how I'd cope with a puppy as they are a lot of work. Really hate being in house on my own though so will get another one when the time feels right. Hope you have a good weekend. Off to make healthy tea - such a relief to be able to make normal food again! Elaine

Hi Beverley, Hope you improve, and you manage a decent outing tomorrow, lve not been out today, had to go to hospital yesterday, took me all my will power, just wanting to ring and say l,m too unwell cant make it, but talk about the public not empathisiing, often medical profession dont either, whatever l,d have said to them l,d have still gone to back of 3 month wait, l wasnt keen on the rheumy, no empathy, not as much as  a smile, bit officious, l,d to laugh though, her first question to me was how old are you, hhhhh, thinking omg, think it took a minute or two, probably on her notes now alzeimers?, she should have seen l looked and felt shattered, but if she did, no acknowledgement, text book questions, diet etc, vit d, away l went for blood test and xray, that a big effort also.  l know exactly what you mean re flood work and yuo cant be bothered with them, its how it makes you feel when your really fatilgued and down.everything becomes a hassle, but bored rigid when nothing at all to do, l hate being a couch potato, tv bores, watched a bit of tennis. l,m sure some think your living the life of reilly, l wish they could experience it.  Really a  lot of the time its a battle to overcome and do, minor and simple jobs become a big challenge often an endurance, when l feel battered as with this last week, its the worry is it getting worse, what will l do, what about the dog, good job weve times when it improves a little and there is a bit of pleasure. Do you manage with pill taking ok, times l cant remember if l took one or two or none, never used to believe when l read of others doing that.  l think there are more meaner people in society now, who would rarely think of offering any help with anything, the worse ones are those who mock, ridicule, l rarely mention it to people now. Growing up many years ago, neighbours offered help to olders or ill, as children we often went to shop for others, weeded their gardens, mums would perm their hair, take them home bakes, dads repaired their gates, small  house repairs, and cant recall any mocking or speaking bad of those with illness or being older,cynical world now.  With all the rain my hedges shrubs growing like mad, time for the gardener soon, feel like lady of the manor  having  a paid gardener, he,s not dear though.  l think sometimes youve to be on all fours before some docs would respond with empathy, scuse my moans, l hate to sound like a victim, l hear people in our society always moaning about how bad they have it in uk, l know a few do, but most have big screen tv, ipads, takeaways, dine out, cars, hols abroad, except us with the latter, that more to do with health, but many countries are really deprived in comparison.  Brings back old ladies telling me as a child, if youve got your health yourve got everything, not quite but means a lot.

My son called last night, chatted for a couple of hours, good to see him, nice suprise.  l,d struggle with passports they are complex for anyone, and the signing part difficult, so rigid on who can sign. For me its like things have gone into slow motion, or l have, every little job becomes a big one, l used to be a speed merchant with jobs, now a snail.  lve slept twice today and hour each time, what are we like. Really hope the sun comes out and we get more energy, like you def plan to get out tomorrow, got to bring some changes to the days of the week. So hope we all feel improved and ready to go, take care lynne

mods are being ....... with  censoring, nothing to censor, oh how l wish my life was exciting enough to  censor, but feeling shattered all  week, hope things improve for us all, will now try again, take caree lynne

Hi Lynne,

How Frustrating with the censoring, the message will no doubt come come. through tomorrow. Hope you're feeling less shattered then.

Beverley

Hi Elaine,

Glad you've been able to get out a little this week and you are in less pain. My phone that I am typing on is playing up so will just wish you a good holiday and you'll know when you're ready for new dog.

Beverley

Hi Lynne,

Yesterday wasn't as good as I'd hoped because pain and exhaustion decided to visit me in abundance. I'm still suffering today but, have not been out, been resting instead. It's been primarily a pain over my right eye, ear and face. hence it's been a very quiet day. managed to watch a dvd with daughter this evening and that's all the excitement I could manage. 

We managed a nice meal out in York and there was a protest early on  from Remain supporters. A drunken man came up to me later to tell me he was very worried about us leaving the EU even though he'd voted leave. he now felt this was the wrong choice. I keep seeing this everywhere and , to be fair, it makes our country look very foolish abroad ! I 'm strongly hoping they call for us to vote again or call an emergency general election. What a mess. 

I don't do very well with medication and aren't taking anything for the pain. I like you end up forgetting and once took too many. Strong painkillers make my memory etc worse. In regards doctors/specialists I find some are just plain not for the job. Why practice for so many years to turn into a sour faced robot with no empathy or compassion for the people who make your wage. I appreciate that we live in a ridiculous era of profit making and clock watching but, I used to work for the NHS at one point and it doesn't have to become so bland and joyless, surely they went into the job 'hopefully' liking people? 

We can only do our own bit, smile as we get on the bus, if capable-hold the door open, respond to the world with an open heart. I'm so disheartened that racist taunts have risen since the referendum. Such anger and nastiness embroil some individuals. I really do hope for a re vote.

Society has changed since both of us were younger. There's always been a drive towards newer and better and these days this obsession is really at a height. I never really opted in to it. I'm happy not to have a flat screen TV, it's a talking point. People are shocked when I say I don't watch TV. If I go to someone's house with one, i cannot concentrate on two things like they can. I know lots of people like it for background noise but, now days, I find it impossible to have background noise ! I used to only really watch it when I went to my mum's. not owned a TV licence in my life, still have the licensing authority check on me every couple of years. 

Like you, I too was always a quick person, as a tutor once discribed me a 'high energy person' I was happy like that. As I write that , it makes me realise just how much I've lost. I loved my rushing around life. But, yep, simple things like doing the washing up is a total pain now. I know what you mean about feeling like lady of the manor having a gardener, I feel it having a cleaner. only once a fortnight.

I hope you have had a good weekend. It's been sunny but windy here today and I've been freezing laid in bed with two duvets on. I keep having an afternoon sleep like you have been too. 

Hwere's to some better days for us all, 

Beverley

hI Beverley,  Hope tomorrows a better day for you, lve not felt too bad today, first time for about 5 days, and of course used it to the max, no way l can pace, partly as some jobs are needed essential, l really cant sit with the house in a mess, not that its perfect, things get left, windows paintwork, corners, but try to keep in reasonably clean tidy comfortable, and cant stand to see garden in a mess, th gardeners does the main heavy jobs, l do the bits, and as you will know there,s a lot of bit inside an out, which you will still have even with a cleaner, day to day stuff, so its l0-15min moderate work, then rest 20min, go back to it, its done, probably wrecked  tomorrrow, who knows, lve just soaked in the bath, always really dirty after gardening, now my hands going in spasm, its also when weather is decent, been quite good for 2 days. To see the nurse tomorrow, When l saw the specialist, her lst question, how old are you, mmmm, oh dear, its probably gone down on my records as alzeimers,  so many docs now are text book, responses, even cliche,s 

often nonsense, dont they train to think study anymore, gps always used to look at youir tongue, eyes, did pulse, stepthoscope, reflex,s, then thought about it, now its ok blood test, xray, maybe scan, and if they c ome back neg your fobbed off.  Should get results this week, we,ll see, she lilked ot think of fibro etc, as umberella term, really. l really wish l was filmed during an average day, to see the state l get into doing the simplest minor jobs, on top of the excessive sleeping and waking ujp like a zombie, she wanted to go on about osteao, charts out, and talk of physio,  l know lve some osteo, near everyone does  as they get older, l know mine isnt bad, lve seen people with it bad, swellings bumps mishapen, see what comes of it all.  Glad you enjoyed York, l really like York, l like to go on boat trip, l used to love to explore ramble, one thing l really miss, all got to be studied, be it parking or public transport, how far to wherever, l noticed today when ld done my bit of gardening, an easy light job normally, now, but after it l,m quite shaky, must be exertion do you get that. l didnt actually vote, lve always voted, but son as taken me last couple of years, as its up a hill, got to 7pm, 8pm, thought he,s just going to be late, he,s called befoe on vote days at 9pm, 9.30pim end of. To be honest l,m sick of listening and reading about  it, l hope they accept the free trade movement at least,like norway, that will help, then hope theyve contingency plans to boost economy, if they unduly punish us, l will buy british goods where poss, its all l can do to help,my son  called other night, he was quite down about it, maybe worrying about his job, but being he,s in mental health the demand is growing, but its other things also,  but its in to the unknown as everything seems to be in so many ways. Life seemed so simple less stressed and happier years ago, l think l grew up in better times, stronger family, community, its tht thing  if only we,d known what we know now, and had the energy and wellbeing to have another go at it, more experiences and a bit naughtier,maybe go to new zealand, gorgeous looking place, only about 5million people, now  when the fatigue is bad, the frustration, l guess your same in getting angry with yourself, and others sometimes.  Still live in hope, and the odd days of achieving help. Well l hope your re energised soon, were like rechargeables.  if it censors this l will go mad, oh to do or tell aboiut something thats worth censoring.  again live in hope. 

Hi Bev, hope you've had a decent week. I really enjoyed my break away. Highlight was sitting on a lovely beach I hadn't been to before and collecting stones and shells to bring home - really relaxing! Worst bit was a seagull snatching my sandwich out my hand - gave me such a fright! Am now absolutely shattered so need to rest to recover. Normal people go away and feel refreshed after a break but I just feel exhausted for days - really annoying illness. Main event of the break was I noticed there were golden retriever pupppies for sale really close to where we were staying so went to have a look and think you'll guess what happened - we reserved one and get her in 2 weeks time. Don't know how I'll get on looking after a puppy but they do sleep a lot when young so will just need to rest when she does. I know my energy levels will plummet but will be better when she grows up a bit. Hope you have a good weekend. Elaine

Hi Lynne,

It's been a tough few days so apologies for late reply. Been feeling pretty ill. Today couldn't speak this morning. Just totally shattered on top of pain-and the rest! Today have really felt I just want my life back. Like you I get very frustrated. Get sick f doing so little for such a massive drain on the battery.

Have you got your results back now? Did anything show up? How 've you been keeping? The weather has been so up and down, have you managed time in the garden?

Beverley

Hi Elaine,

Glad you had a good time away, got to collect some stones and shells (I like to do this too) and a puppy! I bet a part of you is pretty excited even though you're exhausted after your holiday. Any names yet, or will you wait to see when she gets home? Sounds like you found your new companion when you weren't expecting to so, a lovely surprise!

I've had few tough days so am hoping I'm getting better now. How about you, you recovering well?

Beverley

Hi Bev, glad you are starting to pick up again. I feel absolutely shattered today. My husband was meant to be off this week but has gone back to work early as is going to take a week off when we get the puppy instead so have been trying to catch up on housework, washing, etc but as usual have done too much. Will have to have total rest day tomorrow now which is annoying as there are things I want to do before we get the puppy as I know I won't have the energy when we get her. Have thought of some names but not decided on one yet - will see what we think suits her when we get her. Hadn't planned to get one so soon but really liked the ones we saw and would rather pick one I like than rush out and take anything or end up with a puppy farm one with health problems. Am hoping we've made the right decision. Am quite worried how I'll cope with a puppy as they are a lot of work but think she will sleep a lot when we first get her and my husband will be here at nights to help. Won't be able to walk her for 5 weeks till she gets her jags so don't need to worry about that just the housetraining! My husband will take her morning and night when she can go for walks so I will only need to manage the lunchtime walk and if I'm not good there is a local dog walker who can take her for me. Am looking forward to it but nervous about coping too. Hope you have had a better day today. Elaine 

Hi Lynne, hope you are OK. Was talking to you under other topic before but can't remember which one now so thought I'd message you here. Know you weren't feeling great so am hoping you have picked up a bit. Am totally shattered today. Done too much so will have to rest tomorrow. Have managed to catch up on housework a bit as will need to rest and pace myself before we get the puppy. Got her a bed, toys and food at weekend so have all that organised. Will need to think how to puppy proof the house in case she chews cables, etc. Am just going to restrict her access to certain bits of the house to start with as don't have the energy to chase her round house picking up 'little accidents'! Will be better when she's housetrained. Am still missing Brodie but think having another dog will help me and the fact we are getting a girl this time means I won't be comparing it with him. Hope you are being good to yourself and getting plenty rest. Elaine

Hi Elaine,

It sounds in a way like it was meant to be? I know you weren't planning on looking just yet and it seems good that you stumbled upon finding her by chance on holiday.

Yes,rest tomorrow. Let Your body recharge again a little. I think you''ll be quite excited when you get her! Sounds like you're already thinking "what if" and have got ideas about what to do if you dont have the energy

And your husband will be there too. Animals can have a healing way with them so , just having heraround could help.

I' am shattered too. Silly condition we have!

Beverley

Hi Beverley,  lve been rough as well, what are we like. A week last Sunday felt okish, and weather nice, so did about an hours gardening in 4=5 sessions, got a bit done, pleaseed with that, small aciements, next day whacked out, following day saw nurse, all ok got new inhaler, then felt worse evening, next day worse, breathing bad, had to call dr out, chest infection, anyway got anti bs and steroids, predislone, really off it a couple of days. Yesterdday a bit better, today improved quite a bit, the fine weather helps, it does make me feel better, dont think its just like phycalogicalk in we all feel better when its dry and warmish, although its always humed with it now, we dont seem to g et the hot warm dry sun, still does me good health wise, l dread winters, oh to have a lottery win, l use all my energy to buy a placesomewhere warm, not hot, just nice, and if yuour rich its not as hard, just  abandon and buy new online, taxi,s everywhere, could manage that on a good day, dream on. l didnt go out for 3 days, even though unwell and tired and sleeping a bit, like you l felt bored witless, frustrated. Its perverse when drs talk about exercise, as if anyone in their right mind would choose to  have such days, l think lve sat of sofa more in the last 6month than in the last l6yrs, as for tv, chronic day choices, judge judy,s my default channel, sometimes just watch news channel a bit, then music. l need to find something thats more producive fullfilling, l,m not a craft type person, might try art agian, l used to do classes, 3 stories up in old mill,l d never get to the top.  l dont know if youve had thepredislone, l think they can help, but sleep worse, but you cant stay on them for long l dont think, let me know if youve used them and if it helped or side affects, l finish them tomorrow.

l hope youve improved and had some decent weather, we used ot get it a week here and there, then a few days at a time, now its the odd day, oer even half days. flowers are poor with all the rain and snails out, l love osteaspurnem, theyre ususally lovely, really poor this years, assted colour but few flowers, too wet an not enough sun from south african, its was yorkshire show, guess its your way, l like farm show, but too spread out, anything more than a hudreds yards is hard going, impossible, even from car parks to grounds an ordeal,  my son used to take me out and always park half a mile from whatever. people just dont realise what they take  for granted, walking loo , 200yds  is an endurance, maybe l need a scooter. but asw youll know living in a valley, hills everywhere to go anywhere.   lve not got results, sure theyll be in, l,ll have to chase them at drs, Well hope  youve improved and had a nice day, take care lynne

Hi Elaine,  Hope youve picked up a bit, and had a nice day there, its been pleasant here, shouldnt be asking too much midsummer, but thats what its come to the odd days.  l worked hard in garden, in l0min sessions rest, quite pleased, then off it, got dr out as breathing poor, she said chest infection, give me anti b and steroidls, off it a few days, today feel okish and weather good so went out, pleasant, staying in just drives me mad,   l,d never in all my years of keepiong dog had a dog cage, never needed one, but with m y last dog its been a god send, quyite a good sixed one, room for a bed, with puppies also, once they get used to it, they seem to like it, if l get my coat on the dog just trots in and settles down, l couldnt leave her free if l was out, she, chewed all manner of things, leather chair, lino, plus you know therye safe and comfy if you need to tidy or sleep, l think theyre quite bright dogs and learn quick, plus summer best time for teching them in the garden, when it stops reaining that is, tray in garden. If my dog ran off, and shed did a few times, for me, come back she,d run towars me laughing, and striaght past me, a very naughty dog improved be in a mess if she ran off, l,m sure she,ll soon learn, it will be lovely, ld love one myself, if l,d a partner to take some o f the slack on bad days, l,d be seriously tempted, wouldnt stop and go for it, but l darent, l,m grad and grateful lv got my dog and cats, and worry at times l, wont manage, but do, l guess its this weekend yo collect her, lilttle girl dogs can be naughty as boys, jhave you thought of a name yet,  good luck, be really nice for you, take care lynne

Hi Lynne, well done for getting some gardening done - I always end up shattered when I try and do bits in garden but probably do too much and would get on better if I paced myself but it's not easy. I had chest infection a few years ago then ended up with asthma even though I'd never had it before though doctor said people can get it later in life. I also have hayfever and excema - think they are all linked. I was on prednisolone and anitbiotics with chest infection but felt totally out of it on them and my doctor told me to stop taking them. My asthma doen't bother me a lot of the time but certain things can suddenly make it flare up like strong chemical smells and always get it when I have a cold. Once went into a shop where they were burning a strong scented candle and had to get out quickly as I could hardly breathe. Stupid neighbour has had log burning stove on for days now (it's not even cold!!!) and it's making me feel out of breath mixed with the pollen. Wish the wind would change direction and blow it away from my house. We're getting the dog a week on Saturday so trying to get things done in house this week and rest next week to build my energy up for her coming. I've told a few people we're getting her and everyone wants to come and see her and had people offering to walk her and look after her but people are always like that when you've got a puppy as they're so cute but they tend to lose interest when they grow up! So long since I've had a puppy I've forgotten what to do so got dog book out library and am going to look at that to remind myself. Bit worried about coping with it but I'm sure it'll be worth it. Not chosen a name yet but have a few ideas. Brodie was terrible for chewing as a puppy - he used to pull wallpaper off walls, rip the mail and chew skirting boards - shouldn't have let him have the run of the house. Won't make that mistake this time!! Elaine

Hi Bev, was meant to be resting today but did some ironing which was really stupid as am totally shattered now but at least I've caught up with things a bit. Am definitely resting tomorrow - have even put note in kitchen for myself tomorrow to tell myself to rest. It's a quote I got from M.E./CFS course which says 'listen to your body not your mind!'. If I did this more often I probably wouldn't get so tired. It's difficult though as I hate sitting doing nothing. One of the worst things about this illness is that people think you're lazy and it couldn't be further from the truth!! Hope you've had a decent day. Elaine.

hi elaine, l,m same with allergies asthma, all got worse with age as with touches of ezma, brilliant immune systems  not, l ve walked out of shoips, some toiletries ok with, others one breathe and l,m away, used to be couhgin, asthma came later, just changed inhalers again.  They talk about pollutiuon, but dont do anything to change it, just keep cramming more in to increase it and take few measures to reduce it. when my neighbour started wiht some sort of burning on a stove it was terrible, worse than bbqs, chocking with it, l,d to shut all windows over an hour, hot day.  lve not had a puuppy for 30yrs, they are cute of course, but still times they and yiou need a break and cages are great and keep them safe. l think youll cope fine. l,d put crystal up at the window, in summer it used to dance the lights on kitchen floor, well the dog thought it was something to catch, and chewed holes in my lino, she was a terror, but now get her lots of rawhide bones, bows, spoilt rotten, but keeps her happy, Do you or your husband do the training, l guess it will be joint effort, wont be for a while yet, be nice if you could get her first few months in the garden to run around, tray train, is it a secure one, my dog eascape artist suprese, spent hours filling in gap;s holes making it higher, felt like putting a brick from her collar, just a climber, digger, a terrier, theyre worse than big dogs, first small dog due to age, bought her a giant rawhide bone when out, she,smanaged a quarter, l  get so bored and frustrated, and it does help a bit if its nice, and thats not often, each summer gets worse, your little puppy will stop you from getting too bored, if you get knacked put her to bed in cage and you can both have a sleep.  Well see what tomorrow brings, after tonight, as nights a voyage of discovery also, good bad who knows, take cre lynne

 

Hi Lynne, have discovered another allergy tonight. Had to go to different supermarket to use up voucher at weekend which took ages as didn't know where anything was. Grabbed a chicken pie to have as quick meal which I don't usually have and started to feel ill when I was eating it. Starting coughing and felt wheezy and mouth felt tingly. Looked at ingredients and realised it had black pepper in it. Was a bit suspicious before that this didn't agree with me and haven't had anything with that in it for ages but that has confirmed it. Will be checking ingredients from now on. Know I feel much better if I make things from scratch but don't always have the energy to do this. Will be pleased to go to usual supermarket at weekend and get my normal foods that I know agree with me. Before I was ill I could eat anything but it's a pain having to avoid things. I seem to be allergic to everything these days. I tried all the brown inhalers for asthma but none of them agreed with me - gave me awful pains in my legs and really sore head. Just use blue inhaler when I have to. Will probably be me who will do most of the training with the dog but need to read up on it. Slept till after 10 this morning and have been resting but still feel shattered which is worrying but I have been doing more than usual. Hopefully will feel better when get back to normal routine and diet. Hope you've had a decent day. Elaine  

Hi Lynne, 

Well, it's taken me this long to reply as it's been another rough few days ! I've had too many things on: orthodontist and school issues with my daughter, all trips on public transpoort that i can ill afford energy wise. I've also had a return of the chronic pain part of cfs/me. I was doing ok, less pain with more resting as more exhausted but, the pain has travelled down my back and is sitting-quite uncomfortably, in my hip and buttock on right side. The neurologist I saw most recently explained that its the muscle that has tensed from a signal in the brain. Thanks brain !!! I also read recently that we with cfs/me have a problem uptaking dopamine levels and this causes the feeling of pain to be more heightened? I also learned recently that dopamine is the pleasure realeasing hormone, so.. I think we need to give ourselves big doses of pleasure as much as we can! If that's sitting in the garden, having nice baths-whatever it is. And being gentle with ourselves. I can get so miserable  with this condition, I'm sure you can identify with this. It's hard sometimes and I don't do 'keep positive' as it's unrealistic to me. I do keep realistic. unfortunately, some see that as being negative but, I have to be aware of my limitations and keep some boundaries too because others really have no idea how horrible things can get.

I've not tried thepredislone. I know it sounds crazy taking nothing for the pain but, I find drugs have such a negative effect. Last week, I couldn't see as I had headache over my eye, pain in my ear and neuralgia. I slept a lot and just felt so ill. I had to battle through because I find the drugs toxify my symptoms. I was wondering about seeing the doctor for the current paIn but, feel it will be a prescription and maybe physio for a while and last time she wouldn't see me due to the cfs/me ! catch 22.

It is hard getting arourd in the valley, I know. i have a wheelchair that needs someone to push it for me. It's for really bad days. So hard to explain this to people without the condition.

I've had all the children here too and whilst that's been great, I've had to rest alot and that makes me realise how poor my energy is. I managed to meet a freind at the weekend for lunch which was on the way to see my mum. She stasrted to say about old age and I'd stopped her. This isn't typical old age creeping in.

Did you get the results from the doctor? and how sre you feeling now? the weather has certainly changed here, very sunny. I find the sun hard to deal with but, have a lovely stone house that keeps the heat out for the most during the day.

Like you, a lotto win would be just the ticket. Just to not have to struggle would be lovely. 

Best wishes

Beverley

 

Hi Elaine,

It's taken me such a long time to reply, not been having an easy week of it and am suffering more with pain at present. It feel like it's travelling around my body, not happy to just stay in one place ! I like the cfs/me quote

I think we'd find the condition easier if others understood it more. The hard bit is that as human beings, many people allow their brain to be lazy and just slot you into 'tired' bracket or 'depressed' or which ever box is easier for them to not think much about. at the moment, for me it seems people are putting me in the 'approaching old age' bracket !! I think this is because it's something that concerns them rather than all of a sudden all my symptoms are old age...

The weather has become very sunny and hot here. Yesterday i hung out alot of washing, limping about in pain but, glad it's all done. I've had all the children here for a few days. Now I feel I can breath a little. It made me realise how much I have to rest and how much I can't enjoy the 'family' as I used to. they can all watch dvd's, play games etc, it was all too much stimulation and had to keep popping off to my darkened room. My son is the main one who helps in the kitchen when he's here at least. I was finding cooking extra very difficult and i really can't lift pans very well. Kept dropping things. 

when do you get your puppy? Is it this weekend? I know you have bought things already and I bet you're feeling excited as well as nervous. It will bring some extra joy to your life, something we need with this condition. My daughter is constantly showing me cute you tube videos of puppies and kittens- she really wants a dog !

Hope your day is going well

Best wishes

Beverley

Hi Bev, it does take a lot out of you when you have more than normal going on - sounds like you need some quiet time to yourself to recover. I can't stand this heat and feel absolutely shattered today. I got up at 5 this morning as I couldn't sleep for the heat - the sun shines in my bedroom window in the morning and makes the room too hot. Went back to bed this afternoon and slept for a couple of hours when sun moved round back of house and room was a bit cooler. Whole house is roasting again now so probably won't sleep again. Needs a good thunderstorm to clear the air! Really worried now as am getting the puppy on Saurday and this was meant to be a rest week but now I've not slept so have no energy at all. Just praying I'll sleep better later in the week before I get her. Thankfully my husband is on holiday next week to help out. Am really looking forward to getting her but know it will be a lot of work - puppies are cute but exhausting so don't rush into getting one unless you have help!! Will let you know how I get with her. Glad you are feeling a bit better. Elaine

Hi Elaine, 

This weather is a bit too much for me !I was up early, but not as early as you. my downstairs is quite cool, which is nice and at least there is a breeze here today but, it's no good with the cfs/me this heat. Wilt like a flower. Have been able to watch two dvd's today which is mammoth for me and I've managed tom pace myself ok. I've booked two online grocery orders and have unfortunately overlapped there delivery times ! be a joke if they arrive at the same time as they're rival companies !

The weather forecast said thunderstorms but, non here really. A light rain and bit of thunder earlier and that was it.

There is no way I could have a puppy or dog for that matter , not at this time anyhow. I still suffer with my back from the accident and wouldn't be able to pick it up etc if need be. I hate being so dependant on others because of this condition. The guinea pigs are managable as they won't allow us to pick them up anyway, we coax them out of their hut with a tube they crawl into. 

You have a few more days before you collect her so maybe try to get some rest now. I know it's more difficult with the heat but, so long as you can keep coolish, don't over stretch yourself and eat as well as you can, all this will help prepare you.

Best wishes 

Beverley

Hi Bev, love your 'wilt like a flower' comment - that's exactly how I feel!! There was really bad thunderstorm here yesterday morning but it hasn't cleared the air much - still hot and clammy. Managed to sleep better last night but still feel totally drained with the heat. Only have one more day to feel better before we get the puppy on Saturday - will be so glad when it gets a bit cooler. So glad my husband is off next week as would never cope and my neighbour is on holiday the following week so she will help me then if I'm struggling. Will be better once we've got her into some sort of routine. Am going to stop off at my parents house on way home from getting her as they stay about half way home so they will get to see her and I can get lunch and break before the rest of the journey home. Have been puppy proofing the house - hiding cables and blocking off bits she might chew, etc. Am really looking forward to it now but just wish I felt a bit better. I used to have a guinea pig called Squeak when I was growing up. He used to run round the house and I used to sit with him on my knee - they're lovely pets - much easier to look after than dogs! Used to do my grocery shopping online all the time but they changed where the delivery was coming from and they kept missing things off the order and most things had poor dates on them so just started going to the shop again which is tiring but at least you get to pick your own things. If I was on my own I'd have to get it online as wouldn't have any way to get there since I can't drive. Total rest day (with fan if it's hot!), healthy tea and early night planned tomorrow. Hope you have a good weekend. Take care. Elaine.

Hi Elaine,

Hope it has cooled there with you? We had some rain here last night which has helped a bit. I have no idea how people in hotter countries cope with this condition.

Only one day before you get your puppy now, time seems to go so quickly sometimes. I'm not surprised you're excited and hope you manage a little extra rest today. And it s good that your husband is going to have time off to start with.

Squeak is such a cute name for a guinea pig! There was a struggle to name one of them here and he's ended up with ginger snap. I said that there needed to be other names that fitted him but none came forward so, his name stayed as that. They are so anti-social with us (unless food is involved)

Am hoping for a restful weekend here. Seem to have had another busier than I'd have liked week here again.

Let us know how it goes with your new arrival. Also, it sounds a good idea to stop off at your parents on the way back, rest stops are important with cfs/me I find.

Best wishes

Beverley

Hi Bev, puppy Penny has arrived and she's gorgeous - really friendly but is going to be a LOT of work!! Has been eating plants in garden and chewing the furniture already - house is going to be wrecked! Am absolutely shattered. Am hoping she will calm down once we get in a routine with her. Hope you are enjoying your weekend. Elaine. 

Hi Elaine,

Aw, bless her. So you've decided on Penny for her name. Hopefully she'll calm down as you say soon. They can be hard to start with but, as you say, as she gets into the routine of being in her new home, she'll settle. She'll become a good companion for you too. I wander if they could train dogs specifically for people with our condition? they have seeing and hearing dogs and I know of a woman who has no use of her arms whose dog was trained to help. It may be a good idea for us with this. Wish I could get the guinea pigs to be a little more helpful !

Rest when you can. Today I'm resting because my weekend was busier than it ought to have been. 

Best wishes

Beverley

Hi Lynne,

Hope things are ok with you. I sent a message a few days ago on this conversation but, sometimes it doesn't notify you on the site when you get messages? 

Hope you are resting well 

Beverley

Hi Bev, hope your energy levels are picking up after resting. Mine are at rock bottom now. Don't ever get a puppy!!  I'd forgotten how much work they are. She's gorgeous and really affectionate - loves having her belly tickled but is a nightmare for chewing things. She's into everything!! Examples are:-

?* Sitting at table trying to have meal and she grabs corner of table cloth and tries to pull it off.

?* Sitting last night and lamp beside me started moving - she had hold of cable trying to chew it so have had to remove lamps and sit with main light on.

* She's pulled all the draughter excluder of the door.

* She pulls my slippers off my feet and runs away with them.

* She pulled a jacket off the back of a chair and ran away with it.

?* She is barging into a big heavy box I thought would do restrict access to areas of the house and getting past it.

?* She eats absolutely everything in the garden - grass, twigs, leaves, etc.

?* She tries to pull the laces off you shoes so you walk about with a dog attached to your foot.

?* She hangs off the bottom of the curtains and tries to pull them down.

?These are only a few examples but she really is a lot of work. Am getting a loan off a puppy crate later in week as there is no way I could leave her unattended in the house or she'd have the place destroyed. The breeder was using one for the remaining puppies so she's been in one before so hopefully will be fine in it. Thankfully my neighbour is going to help out with her next week when my husband goes back to work. Hopefully she will be less work when she's able to get out for walks as this should tire her out more. Am so tired I feel like a zombie (and look like one too!!). Elaine.

Hi Elaine,

Oh dear! What a mischievous puppy she is! It sounds funny here and kind of cute but, I know it's not funny when you're experiencing It. How Is she sleeping? hope the puppy crate helps and as you say, she'll get tired out when she starts going for walks.

Sorry you are feeling so exhausted. I'm also low on energy at the moment. Re looking like a zombie. I met a friend for a meal last night-this morning I'd taken off my make-up and my friend said I needed to take off my make-up because the mascara had left dark circles under my eyes and I looked like a panda, when i said I had taken it off, they laughed! just look washed out. I've spent alot of time resting today but, tomorrow is dedicated to doing hopefully nothing.

Hope you get some rest tomorrow too

Beverley

Hi Bev, am absolutely shattered totally. Ended up with a lot of visitors wanting to see the puppy - everybody loves her but having people in seems to make her even more wild. She shows off in front of people and they think it's hilarious but it's so much work. Tonight she starting dragging a piece of lino I'd put down to protect the floor into the middle of the room. If you put down a cup of tea she jumps up and tries to drink out of it (think she smells the milk!). Am getting the puppy crate tomorrow thankfully so should be able to get some peace if I can persuade her to go in it that is!! Look an absolute mess - not even got the energy to wash my hair and have massive black shadows under my eyes. She needs out during the night a couple of times for her toilet but has started barking to let you know she needs rather than doing it in the house which is good but not good getting up to take her out!! My husband was downstairs on and off with her the first couple of nights but I gave him a break last night so had to get up about 2 and 5.30. My husband is on puppy duty tonight so am going to try and sleep through the night and will hopefully feel better tomorrow. Hope you manage to get a good rest day tomorrow. Am planning a quieter day tomorrow too as really struggling now. My husband is going to get the crate in the morning then on puppy duty in the afternoon and going to cook the tea so I can have some rest time - am going to try and do a relaxation CD (in a separate room!) so hopefully that will help. Take care. Elaine.

Hi Elaine,

Sorry she's such a hand full at the moment. Once she settles down a little things will improve. I know it's hard with this condition to see the next steps in anything but, next week will be a little better. The week after that a little more. The more she's encouraged what is a good dog (not going to the toilet in the house) and discouraged what isn't, the more she'll get used to things. At the same time she's growing a little more in mind and body so she'll stop wanting to/being able to, do certain things she does now. She sounds a bundle of energy, the opposite to you and me, and that will calm down. They have emotion like us and learn to understand what makes us happy, as you'll know from having dogs before although she sounds quite a contrast at present!

Hope you get that restful day today. I've had two people text me this morning before 7.30 and I'm going to have to be very selfish with my energy today. I've already told the children too that I need shopping they may have to go for without me. I can't carry things but, I usually go to pick what need.

Rest well,

Beverley

Hi Bev, sorry not had the energy to reply to you. Had really stressful few days not even really caused by the puppy but people keep coming to my door all the time wanting to see her. Don't mind if I have invited someone to come but people I don't even know very well are knocking on door asking to see her and I'm really fed up with it. I can't cope with speaking to lots of people as my brain just can't keep up with all the conversations and it's making Penny overtired with no routine at all. Have stopped anwering door and now have people looking over back fence into garden. Feel like running away to a desert island. Think I need to be more assertive with people and put my own needs first or will never be able to cope but it's so difficult as people just don't understand how tired I get. Hope you are having a good weekend. Elaine.

Hi Elaine,

Sounds stressful having people just turning up to see Penny, how tiring without the cfs/me! I get overwhelmed like you and end up speaking gobbledygook when I've had to listen and speak too long. I hope the novelty wears off soon but, am guessing she's very cute!

Rest as much as you can. I'm looking after partners granddaughter as her sister went into hospital with appendicitis. She was very poorly and responded badly to the anesthetic but is ok now. So small to have such a time of things. They've just gone out for a walk so have a bit f rest time now. It's just needing the extra energy that little one's need that I struggle with.

Hoping her sister is out of hospital tomorrow.

Am glad the weather has cooled down at least. Hope your weekend turns litt mo peaceful

Beverley

Hi Bev, that's a shame about the appendicitis. I hope she's on the mend now. Will use up all your energy with extra things to cope with. I'm still absolutely shattered. Not had people in the last couple of days thankfully but still not sleeping well as puppy is still crying during the night. Can't go on any longer with no sleep so trying something different tonight. My husband is playing with her just now to try and tire her out and is going to sleep downstairs part of the night so she's not crying so much and waking me up. Was talking to my neighbour earlier and was getting all my words mixed up and couldn't take in what she was saying. Think she was a bit shocked at how bad I was as she hasn't really seen me like that before as I tend to avoid speaking to people unless I have to when I'm feeling really bad. Really hope things calm down a bit soon as not coping well at all and am starting to think I've made a big mistake getting a puppy though it's not really her fault as she's just young. Hope you manage to get some rest. Elaine.

Hi Elaine,

Sorry to hear that your sleep is being affected so badly. We suffer with exhaustion anyway. She 'll eventually stop crying out n the night. It's just managing it till then. Can you wear earplugs? The foam one's can be helpful.

Hope the plan tonight works out.

Beverley

Hi Bev, hope you are getting on OK. I've not been good at all. First time I've managed to use the computer for a few days. Absolutely shattered and now have sinusitus and bad toothache in tooth I just had filling in a couple of months ago. Am worried am going to need it taken out. Have dog trainer coming to house tomorrow to give us some advice on Penny as not coping well with managing her. She seems a lot more work than my last dog was when he was a puppy. She seems really feisty. Got a bitch this time thinking she would be quieter and easier to train but so far she seems a lot worse. Will see what the dog trainer recommends tomorrow. The crate we got turned out be rusty as had been in someone's garage so couldn't use it so last week was on my own with nowhere to put her. Have now got baby gate put up so have a bit I can contain her in so don't have to watch her all the time. Hope you have had a decent weekend and are getting on better than me!! Elaine 

Hi Elaine, 

sorry to hear you're suffering so much at the moment. Try not to let these things get you down, it's not easy ,I know but, with this condition we have the constant battle of managing our symptoms and you add anything more to the mix and it can certainly take time for our systems to recover. I'm unfortunately not good either. My weekend didn't go so well and I spent all day in bed sunday and most of yesterday there too. It's a tough ride sometimes. I too have tooth trouble. A cap I've had for ages has come loose and so managed to get an appointment for tomorrow morning. It keeps moving when I eat and I find it really hard to eat on the other side. Generally, I just feel very unwell and not up to socialising at all. I've not recharged my phone for the last couple of days and it's the first time I've managed to get to the computer. I've had a lot of communicating with my solicitor recently and a document I had to sign which was about 30 pages. i'm not sure if that totally wiped me out or being silly enough to go out on saturday to a friends, maybe a combination. I don't really feel low but, just cannot be bothered with people bothering me. Just need my peace to recover. 

The baby gate sounds a good idea, so sorry the crate turned out to be rusty, these small extra things don't help! I hope the dog trainer can give you some good advice. It's hard when they are so boistrous ,hopefully she will settle soon. they are such a good breed to train so, hopefully this won't last long and you'll be able to get the benefit of having a loving and loyal companion soon.

Beverley

Hi Bev, hope you have managed to get some quality rest time to get some energy back. I haven't had a good week at all. Haven't been feeling right for a few days then on Wednesday had an allergic reaction to something at  teatime - my tongue went all swollen and couldn't breathe right so got taken into hospital and sent home at 1 in the morning. Next day had to go to doctors and dentist. Am absolulety shattered and still not sure what's wrong with me or what I had allergic reaction to. Thankfully my husband is off on holiday next week so he will be able to help me with things. On the positive side the dog trainer was really good and Penny has really settled down now following his advice - think she was just insecure! Hope you have a good weekend. Elaine 

hi Elaine,

How scary re the allergic reaction. Especially as you're not sure what caused it. But , good news re penny. Am going away for couple of days and and glad not getting that heat wave! Am not great but, manageable.

Hope you're not feeling as bad soon

Beverley

Hi Bev, hope you enjoyed your days away and are not too exhausted by it. A change of scenery can cheer you up even if it's tiring. Am struggling with the heat just now, having to sit inside where it's cooler. Even though my husband is on holiday we can't really go far as the dog can't get out for walks yet and we can't leave her for long so quite restricting. Am glad to get help with her though as have had more chance to rest and catch up on my sleep. He's going to take more time off next month when she can get out for walks so we'll be able to do things then. Looking forward to the Autumn as I usually have a bit more energy then when it's a bit cooler plus I love seeing all the Autumn leaves, berries, etc. Better muster up the energy to cook the tea - this heat just drains me!  Elaine

 

Hi Elaine,

Yes, it was nice to get away but am suffering now. Just resting and taking things gently.

The hot weather is no good for me either. Luckily there was a lovely breeze where we were.

I like Autumn too, for the same reasons. Lovely colours and the change in atmosphere is nice. Winter Is my favourite season though.

Hopefully penny's getting a little easier too as well as having extra rest. Are you over the allergic reaction now?

Beverley

Hi Bev, bit cooler here today so have a bit more energy but stupidly tried to do a bit weeding in garden last night and have made my back problem flare up so shuffling about waiting for it to ease off again. Think the allergic reaction might have been to a mouth wash I used as I can't think of anything else different I used that day. Only used it as had weird taste in my mouth due to sinus problems. Still can't really taste things properly.

Think the pollen off a buddlea plant in my garden is making my hayfever worse but it's nearly finished flowering now. Will be glad when it's cooler and all the pollen is gone. Get fed up having allergies to everything - never used to be like this before I was ill. Penny is settling down better now but has loads of energy. Will be better when she can get a walk. She's broken my coat stand - was pulling of the sleeve of a jacket and the whole thing fell over and snapped in two - could have landed on top of her. You need eyes in the back of your head - the joys of having a puppy!! Hope you are picking up from your break away. Elaine

 

Hi Elaine,

Cooler weather better for me too! Glad Penny's settling down a little. Shame about the coat stand! When we had the rabbit, he ruined ruined many things. He ate the wall paper, Toys, photos, anything not high enough. I'm so glad the guinea pigs live in a different part of the house. They aren't as bad but like to eat cushions!

I'm not too bad after the break away but, haven't been out since I got back. Due to see a friend tomorrow, hope i'm ok for that.

Hope you're taking it easy on yourself with your back. Balancing activity and rest is a nightmare! It's so easy to do just a little too much. Maybe you're right re the mouth wash. Chemicals aren't good for me, I know that. Glad that you're ok from it now.

Hope your weekend goes well.

Beverley

Hi Bev, hope you've had a good weekend. Was just at supermarket yesterday and vet this morning. Still not feeling great. Feel really run down like my body is lacking in something and still have funny numb tongue and can't taste things properly. Am now wondering if I'm deficient in zinc as this happened a few years ago and think I felt similar symptoms. Have sent off for a zinc tester. If not I could be anemic. Not sure but don't really feel right. Tried to get docs appointment but have to wait nearly 2 weeks to see one. Sounds funny a rabbit eating things in house but I suppose they have sharp teeth so probably would gnaw on things! Penny is quiet today after jab at vets. Get to walk her in 10 days - looking forward to it as will use up some of her energy and will get more peace in house!! Elaine

Hi Elaine,

It's not been too bad. Feel quite drained now though. Am hoping it's minor blip.

R doctors, here e have to call at 8 am to get appointment on day which is difficult most days for me. otherwise, like you the prebookable ones are weeks away. So hard to pin point what gives us symptoms sometimes. I get the white patches in my nails wit zinc deficiency. Don't know if you do? Numb tongue sounds no fun at all.

Poor Penny re jabs but essential I guess. I guess she 'll be really excited on oner first trip out, whatfun for her. Hope you have someone with you that day.

Hope you have a gentle week ahead.

Beverley

Hi Bev, hope you are having a decent week. I'm still not feeling great. Tongue still numb and feeling weird. Got zinc tester this morning and it shows I'm deficient in zinc so have started taking supplement. Don't have white spots on my nails though. Am now getting blood tests at doctors next week as managed to speak to doctor on phone yesterday. I know it's not just my M.E. as I feel really run down no matter what I eat or drink. Doctor said it could be glossitis due to a deficiency. Could be anemic or lacking in Vit B12. Don't eat red meat and have been anemic before so will just need to wait and see. Feel fed up as am exhausted a lot of the time anyway without something else not right. Usually feel a bit better going into the Autumn. Penny jumped up and knocked the TV remote control into my cup of tea and now it's not working - am praying it will work again when it dries out!  Elaine

Hi Elaine, Hope the remote is working again. Animals do such frustrating things sometimes ! Hope the health issues calm down soon for you. It's awful feeling so unwell isn't it. I've not been remembering to take my vitamins for a while now  but, don't feel much different. I went to trhe seaside with the children again and it was probably a bit much for me in honesty. I just get bored of feeling so inaffectual sometimes. Today I have to go out and aren't looking forward to it at all. I know I need to rest really. 

How are you feeling now? do you think the zinc tablets have kicked in yet?

beverley

Hi Bev, glad you managed a trip out. Hope you are getting some quiet time to recover. I feel totally wiped out. Am tasting things a bit better so think the zinc is helping a bit but my tongue still feels weird. Getting blood tests done on Friday. Have had a nightmare with Penny. Left her shut in kitchen with baby gate on Sunday to go to supermarket and when we got back she had disappeared. She had somehow managed to get over the baby gate and make her way upstairs where she had eaten half a bath sponge and a load of stuff out a bucket so then had to take her to vet. He gave us stuff to make things pass through her more easily. Then yesterday morning she fell downstairs but amazingly seems O.K. We borrowed a dog crate from a relative and I tried shutting her in that this morning but 10 minutes later she appeared upstairs!! Looked at the crate and the door was still shut but she somehow managed to open the bottom catch and must have squeezed through a tiny gap to get out. I think she's going to have a career as an escape artist!! Thankfully she finally gets out for a walk tomorrow so hopefully that will calm her down a bit. My husband is off the rest of the week too to give me a break. Really not coping well at all at the moment. Also found out that Lynne is not good at all and has been in hospital. You might want to send her a PM. Off for long soak in bath to try and relax. Elaine 

Hi Elaine,

What a little nightmare she can be ! Hopefully she 'll calm down when she starts going for walks. 

I hope you can get to the bottom of the tongue issue, I feel cfs/me leaves us suseptable to other things. My leg went again on monday so I ended up limping for 10 mins, rest it and then it went back to normal. Then it started again later. It has no trigger, nothing apart from resting it helps but, there isn't anything wrong with it medically. Its 10/10 pain alot of the time, unbearable but, not there all the time? Strange symptom to put with the other ones I guess. I'm not doing great, like you but, for different reasons I guess. hope the bath helped a bit? I caught the sun on monday too which hasn't helped me.

I was wondering if Lynne was ok as I haven't heard from her in quite a while. I've messaged her today, hope she's ok.

be good to you

beverley

 

Hi Bev, tried to send you a PM about Lynne the other day but couldn't get it to work.  Don't want to put someone's private details on open forum but she is really not good. Could your leg problem maybe be due to nerve damage caused by your accident? I get sciatica due to my back problem due to disc pressing on a nerve so could be something similar. It does get you down when you are in pain a lot of the time. Penny got her walks today but it took 50 mins to walk her round the block which should have just taken 15 mins as so many people came over to see her which was nice but totally exhausting for me with the standing and speaking to people. Just can't cope with it. As least it's tired her out as she's slept a lot more today which is good. Try and get as much rest as you can. I'm going to try and have an early night tonight as feel like I could sleep for a month. Elaine 

Hi Elaine, 

I seriously thought I'd replied to this message but, doesn't appear here. I hope Lynne is ok. I've sent her 2 PM's now so, unsure if she's well enough to be on the computer.

How is it going with Penny and the walks? It sounds good that she's exhausted but, sounds like you are too with all the attention she gets. Puppies are really cute and I guess she's so excited, she'll make a stunning impression on people. Hopefuly all the attention will die down soon.

Re my leg, it really seems to have no rhyme or reason. I had sciatica like pain the other year and that was truly awful ! Just couldn't walk well at all. I have a rhuemotologist appointment on Wednesday, not sure if they can comment on it ? I can but ask.

Hope you're getting some good rest and the weird tongue sensation is going with the zinc tablets.

Beverley